The Love Doctor Speaks

[dandi]

McDorkio's desperate attempt to breech the skidmarked knickers of some DUmmy "women."

Hey, it's an angle. Give the guy some credit.

MrScorpio  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 07:17 AM
Original message
MrScorpio talks to "guys"
   
Edited on Sat Sep-04-10 07:47 AM by MrScorpio
There are times when I look at other people on this planet and I wonder if I was dropped on the Earth by Aliens... Looking at this most recent conversation about the man/woman dynamic is just one of these times.

Before I start, let me say that I don't claim to know everything, I just know what works for me. Being raised primarily by women, however, I think gave me a head start.

Here are TEN things that you should consider when you're meeting women.

First up, women are HUMAN BEINGS. They're not objects of any kind, they're not property to be owned, or female dogs, or anything other than HUMAN BEINGS... they're PEOPLE. And they really appreciate it when you treat them like people.

Second, I'm willing to bet that a lot of them are smarter than you are... Especially, in that treating PEOPLE like PEOPLE department. It would help you in the long run if you really remembered that.

Third, since women are PEOPLE, of course there are good women and bad women, like people in general. Repeat: Basically the rules for both good and bad women are the same for PEOPLE in general. Bad women lie, cheat, steal and kill. Good women don't, just like people in general. Just because some strange woman that you meet in the street or a bar doesn't want to sleep with you, (because I guess that you're not treating her like a human being), it doesn't make her a bad person... As a matter of fact, chances are that she won't sleep in because you're acting like an ass probably and that, my friend, means that she's probably a GOOD PERSON instead.

Forth, A SECRET: Most women won't tell you this, but take it from me that most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex... Imagine that. But it comes with rules, of course:

1. Women prefer to choose whom they have sex with. Each woman has her own idea about whom they choose to have sex with, when and why.

2. If you're in doubt about whether a woman wants to have sex with you, refer to rule 1.

3. Harassing women on the street for sex is not a good way of going about changing their minds when they have decided that they don't wan't to have sex with you. Again refer to rule 1.

4. Rape is not sex, it's violence and women generally don't enjoy being violated.

Fifth, RESPECT for women goes a long way in getting women to like you. Sex may or may not be in the outing... But, it's best not to expect it to be. Respect for women has it's own special perks... Like friendship and not getting slapped with restraining orders.

Sixth, You're in no right position to judge any woman that you meet on her looks, her weight, her choice of attire, her drink of choice, her career, her choice of sex partners, her intelligence, or anything else about her... Unless she trusts you enough to ask you for your opinion. If you do have her permission to offer it, remember that RESPECT is the best way to go.

Seventh, when it comes to engaging her with rude language about sex, unless she gives you her permission, it's best to keep your mouth shut about the subject.

Eight, If you really can't fight the urge to say hello to a strange woman that you've never met before... The best way to go about it is just to say "hello", or "good day", don't leer or stare, or stalk her... Just extend a friendly, respectful greeting and be on your way. Chances are that you'll leave her with a favorable impression about yourself. If it's meant to be, it could work out in the long run.

Ninth, if you wouldn't say something to your own mom or sister, you probably shouldn't say it to a strange woman in a bar or on the street.

And finally tenth, if a woman doesn't want to talk to you, obviously you haven't taken into consideration anything that I've said. Which means more than likely, that you're doing it all wrong. So, start at the top of my list and try it all over again.



I'm sure that there things that I missed, but that about covered the basics. Once you get the hang of it, it really works well from there on out.

Of course, if anyone has any problems about what I've just wrote, feel free to let me know about it.

Have a pleasant day.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9073202

Do DUmmy males really need to be told this? I thought they were all "thenthitive" and stuff.

hlthe2b  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 09:24 AM
Response to Reply #5
16. That about sums it up....
   
Edited on Sat Sep-04-10 09:59 AM by hlthe2b
Honestly as a woman, when I hear men toss out the phrase "I'd tap that..." I am truly glad I don't own a gun.

Don't worry, sweetie. They were talking about a beer keg, not you.

In fact, they'd probably rather have sex with the beer keg.

lukasahero  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 10:06 AM
Response to Reply #9
21. You can't spell out what makes a man attractive to a woman
   
because women are individuals and our tastes vary.

"I personally like a little Cleveland Steamer once in a while, you bad boy you."

Upton  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 09:16 AM
Response to Original message
15. No thanks Mr Scorpio
   
I'll make my own decisions about women. Nice that you're trying to endear yourself to the female population here at DU though..

 

lumberjack_jeff  (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
27. Okay, don't rape anyone. Got it. Thanks!
   
Do you have any evidence that DU's "guys" are in need of that piece of advice?

Aside from the obvious trolling for recommends, that seems to serve little purpose. It reduces the entire post to simply a regurgitation of stereotypes.

You're right. Basic personal hygiene would've been a better starting point.

lumberjack_jeff  (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #32
39. I don't unrec.
   
"the women of DU" didn't write your op. If you feel empowered to write on their behalf in the OP, why don't you feel qualified to answer my question? Do you have some evidence that the object(s) of your advice need it?

The three-times-a-week "Hey guys! Don't rape women!" posts are getting really old. Your audience already knows that. I find it the worst kind of callout - the slanderous kind. It is as useful and should be as offensive as "Hey women! Don't drown your children!"

"But it gets me the wimmin'!"

seabeyond  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #48
56. actually, much of the behavior done on the street by men to unknown women is about dominance and
   
humiliation and not about an interest in woman

 

lumberjack_jeff (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Sat Sep-04-10 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #56
70. Then that kind of makes the OP pointless as advice, doesn't it?
   
Unless his advice is "if you want to pick up women don't dominate and humiliate them."

Sound kind of like "if you want to build a house, leave the matches and gasoline in the truck."

The lumberjack is jealous of his rival for the attention of DU womyn. More patchouli behind the ears, perhaps.

MrScorpio  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #70
75. I'm fairly certain that you're suspicious of my motives
   
However, would you care to more direct in your assertions?

It would help to understand exactly what i'm dealing with by way the tone of your posts.

 

lumberjack_jeff (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Sat Sep-04-10 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #75
79. I think you are preaching to a choir by demonizing those not in the church.
   
Your advice to guys that courtship means not being an asshole, rapist or harasser isn't newsworthy to DU's guys. It does however inflate your prestige among those who think guys only need to be told to not be assholes, rapists or harassers by more enlightened guys. *swoon*

Clear enough?

In fairness, I've read what you've written for a very long time, and this is the first time I've taken such strong exception. It is human nature to seek validation, and it seems to me that you're falling into the rec/unrec popularity contest as a proxy for quality writing and thought.

Catfight! MEEOOwwwrrrr!

seabeyond  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 11:04 AM
Response to Original message
34. most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex...
   
repeat
most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex...
most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex...
most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex...

thank you. all of your post is kick ass.

but thank you... thank you, for acknowledging that we too, ..... LIKE SEX.

the more internet rolls. the more society pushes the astronomical power and all around awesome of male sexuality, the further women become from having their own sexuality and it becoming all about men

i appreciate this the most in your post

again

most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex...

"...and I keep telling my husband that, but he just says, "Uh-huh," and rolls over with his Reader's Digest!"

MrScorpio  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #58
60. Well, I know what worked for me...
   
And in my day, a shortage of girlfriends was never one of my problems.

"...as long as I had a valid credit card number handy."

[BattleHymn]

First up, women are HUMAN BEINGS. They're not objects of any kind, they're not property to be owned, or female dogs, or anything other than HUMAN BEINGS... they're PEOPLE. And they really appreciate it when you treat them like people.

Any of you DUmmies want to chime in on your infatuation with Islam, and this statement?

[Carl]

The real DUmmy ideal...

[Carl]

Now to be serious.

DUmmies if you ever want to learn what true respect for a lady is then look to how conservative men as a whole honor and revere women.
Then look at how women are treated and regarded in the inner cities which are predominately leftist.
Notice how women are viewed by the left as political tools rather then people and God forbid any leave the domicile and espouse non feminist views.

Nuff said.

[Ree]

Looks like he's got seabeyond wet already....but it sounds like she's **** most anything right now.....

[Ballygrl]

Well since I consider myself a conservative feminist and not a progressive's idea of a feminist, I guess I'll comment on his suggestions:

First up, women are HUMAN BEINGS. They're not objects of any kind, they're not property to be owned, or female dogs, or anything other than HUMAN BEINGS... they're PEOPLE. And they really appreciate it when you treat them like people.

So is it wrong that I enjoyed being whistled at and some types of wolf calling?

Second, I'm willing to bet that a lot of them are smarter than you are... Especially, in that treating PEOPLE like PEOPLE department. It would help you in the long run if you really remembered that.

Well I'm not arrogant when it comes to relationships, in some ways I'm smarter than hubby and in some ways he's smarter than me. I don't consider 1 to be far more superior than the other overall.

Third, since women are PEOPLE, of course there are good women and bad women, like people in general. Repeat: Basically the rules for both good and bad women are the same for PEOPLE in general. Bad women lie, cheat, steal and kill. Good women don't, just like people in general. Just because some strange woman that you meet in the street or a bar doesn't want to sleep with you, (because I guess that you're not treating her like a human being), it doesn't make her a bad person... As a matter of fact, chances are that she won't sleep in because you're acting like an ass probably and that, my friend, means that she's probably a GOOD PERSON instead.

?

Forth, A SECRET: Most women won't tell you this, but take it from me that most women are actually highly sexual people. That's right, women enjoy sex... Imagine that. But it comes with rules, of course:

Highly? maybe some but not all, some prefer 2-3 times a week and not 2-3 times per day.

1. Women prefer to choose whom they have sex with. Each woman has her own idea about whom they choose to have sex with, when and why.

Well duh!

2. If you're in doubt about whether a woman wants to have sex with you, refer to rule 1.

3. Harassing women on the street for sex is not a good way of going about changing their minds when they have decided that they don't wan't to have sex with you. Again refer to rule 1.

What constitutes harassment? as we know a progressive idea of harassment is a man just coming over to talk.

4. Rape is not sex, it's violence and women generally don't enjoy being violated.

Who said rape is sex? I'm personally finding this person very condescending.

Fifth, RESPECT for women goes a long way in getting women to like you. Sex may or may not be in the outing... But, it's best not to expect it to be. Respect for women has it's own special perks... Like friendship and not getting slapped with restraining orders.

?

Sixth, You're in no right position to judge any woman that you meet on her looks, her weight, her choice of attire, her drink of choice, her career, her choice of sex partners, her intelligence, or anything else about her... Unless she trusts you enough to ask you for your opinion. If you do have her permission to offer it, remember that RESPECT is the best way to go.

Like it or not 1st impressions mean something.

Seventh, when it comes to engaging her with rude language about sex, unless she gives you her permission, it's best to keep your mouth shut about the subject.

Maybe it's just me but I can't say I've ever gone out with a man like stated above.

Eight, If you really can't fight the urge to say hello to a strange woman that you've never met before... The best way to go about it is just to say "hello", or "good day", don't leer or stare, or stalk her... Just extend a friendly, respectful greeting and be on your way. Chances are that you'll leave her with a favorable impression about yourself. If it's meant to be, it could work out in the long run.

This is what I mean, to progressives a simple hi can be construed as harassment.

Ninth, if you wouldn't say something to your own mom or sister, you probably shouldn't say it to a strange woman in a bar or on the street.

OK, you're batting 1 for 10 now.

And finally tenth, if a woman doesn't want to talk to you, obviously you haven't taken into consideration anything that I've said. Which means more than likely, that you're doing it all wrong. So, start at the top of my list and try it all over again.

Maybe the woman is just having a bad day? and maybe in a few days she'd gladly talk to the guy.

hlthe2b  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)
Sat Sep-04-10 09:24 AM
Response to Reply #5
16. That about sums it up....
   
Edited on Sat Sep-04-10 09:59 AM by hlthe2b
Honestly as a woman, when I hear men toss out the phrase "I'd tap that..." I am truly glad I don't own a gun.

I actually find that line pretty

Upton  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)
Sat Sep-04-10 09:16 AM
Response to Original message
15. No thanks Mr Scorpio
   
I'll make my own decisions about women. Nice that you're trying to endear yourself to the female population here at DU though..

[Ballygrl]

Any of you DUmmies want to chime in on your infatuation with Islam, and this statement?

Oh my! that's going to leave a mark.

[Chris_]

Worst. Advice column. Ever.

[thundley4]

I didn't see any of the DUmmies talking about acting like a gentleman and showing courtesy to women.  The little things like opening doors , pulling a chair out from under them for them to sit, are still important to some ladies, granted not to the feministas of the DUmp.

[Ballygrl]

I didn't see any of the DUmmies talking about acting like a gentleman and showing courtesy to women.  The little things like opening doors , pulling a chair out from under them for them to sit, are still important to some ladies, granted not to the feministas of the DUmp.

I didn't even realize that and you're right. Hubby always holds the door open for me and for all women, not the car door though, but it's OK.

[Randy]

I dated a feminist. I maintained my gentlemenly ways and outlasted her complaining about it.  

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

So, is it wrong to go up to a wimmenz and say, "If you give me 5 minutes I'll make it look like you snotted in your pants."???

[Ree]

So, is it wrong to go up to a wimmenz and say, "If you give me 5 minutes I'll make it look like you snotted in your pants."???

Got a bulletproof vest?

[BlueStateSaint]

Got a bulletproof vest?

Snugs--I'd take that as a "yes," as in "it's wrong to do that."

[Boudicca]

The real DUmmy ideal...

No way are ANY of the men at the DUmp nearly that hot looking.  Can't speak about what would appeal to you CC gents, but I suspicion there aren't all that many good looking DUmmie women either.
Anyway, why would any DUmmie need chloroform?  Their au natural BO would be enough to make any normal person keel over.

[AllosaursRus]

So, is it wrong to go up to a wimmenz and say, "If you give me 5 minutes I'll make it look like you snotted in your pants."???

"Uh "Toots" says, if ya don't get knocked on yer ass, ya got yerself a real hottie!

seabeyond  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sat Sep-04-10 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #48
56. actually, much of the behavior done on the street by men to unknown women is about dominance and
   
humiliation and not about an interest in woman

This dipshit really needs to meet "Toots"! I don't even think she'd use her hat pin!

As for opening doors, I've always done that. Amazing how many women nowadays are surprised at the Mall or any other Store when you pay them that courtesy!

Car doors? Naw, I quit doin' that for "Toots" after I got laid!

Now, now, "Toots", put the bar stool down!

[thundley4]

As a follow up.

Maine-ah   (1000+ posts)             Sat Sep-04-10 04:38 PM
Original message
Poll question: As A Woman Have You Ever Been.....
   
Edited on Sat Sep-04-10 04:48 PM by Maine-ah
I'm posting this so that some may get a better idea as to what happens to many women on a daily basis, and yes it's due to a couple of threads running right now.

I personally fall in to 2 categories.

Poll result (84 votes)
sexually harassed (school, work, bar, on the street)    (33 votes, 39%)   Vote
sexually assaulted (not rape)    (8 votes, 10%)   Vote
raped    (5 votes, 6%)   Vote
other: combination    (19 votes, 23%)   Vote
all the above    (18 votes, 21%)   Vote
none of the above    (1 votes, 1%)   Vote

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9075495

I think these numbers are very high in comparison to the general population. The DUmmie women are either lying or they aren't telling the truth.

[Carl]

No way are ANY of the men at the DUmp nearly that hot looking.  Can't speak about what would appeal to you CC gents, but I suspicion there aren't all that many good looking DUmmie women either.
Anyway, why would any DUmmie need chloroform?  Their au natural BO would be enough to make any normal person keel over.

   Got me on that point.

[Chris_]

There might be a couple of attractive ladies, but I'm guessing seabeyond is probably waving goodbye to 60 and looks more like Lynne Stewart than Sophia Loren.

[Boudicca]

There might be a couple of attractive ladies, but I'm guessing seabeyond is probably waving goodbye to 60 and looks more like Lynne Stewart than Sophia Loren.

Her dulcet tones probably invoke Kermit the Frog as well.

[miskie]

So, is it wrong to go up to a wimmenz and say, "If you give me 5 minutes I'll make it look like you snotted in your pants."???

Naw, that never works - what you say is "If you were a chicken, and I was an egg, wouldya lay me ?" - works almost as well as 'Sex Panther'

[Boudicca]

  Got me on that point.

   Honest to goodness, I do believe being forced to view the DUmmie couples' picture gallery would top Weight Watcher's, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem or any other diet protcol.  Vomiting does tend to make a person less heavy.

OTOH, you could end up with a malpractice suit for forcing the young and impressionable to look at pics of those DUmmies.  Bet you could find MANY lawyers right on the DUmmie site too.

[Boudicca]

Naw, that never works - what you say is "If you were a chicken, and I was an egg, wouldya lay me ?" - works almost as well as 'Sex Panther'

"UnderGroundSexPanther"?

[JohnnyReb]

"DUmmie Guide to Seduction and Great Sex"

1- Kiss goat.

2- place hind legs in knee boots.

3- Raise tail.

4- Insert wet noodle.

5- Shout Allah-Akbar.

[Ballygrl]

As a follow up.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9075495

I think these numbers are very high in comparison to the general population. The DUmmie women are either lying or they aren't telling the truth.

I think those results are way too high compared to what you'd consider the norm, and what constitutes harassment? yes guys can go too far but I remember telling them to stop if I felt they went too far and they did, I don't consider it harassment though.