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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8658459Lil Missy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-01-09 09:13 PMOriginal message I got hit up on last night, by a guy. In a lesbian bar. He insisted I'd made a mistake about gay. First of all, he sat next to me and talked my ****ing leg off, and obviously hitting on me. I tried to engage in other conversations, but he wouldn't leave me alone or STFU.I did finally tell him, "you do know this is a gay women's bar, don't you?" He said yes, I do know that. But I think lots of straight women come here, so I don't want to exclude the possibility of meeting women here. Some eventually realize they made a mistake, and haven't met the right guy yet.Well, I was just about ready to belt him. I complained to one of the owners, who happens to be one of my best friends. She said he comes in on occasion and does this savior shit, but he never stays long. So I held my powder.I absolutely hate confrontations, so I ignored him. At least I tried. He grabbed my shoulders and persisted on pursuing more conversation. He wanted to know if I had been treated badly by some man, and if I had made a mistake deciding I'm gay.I said, no, I've not been treated badly by men. And yes, I did make a mistake. Which was ever being with men in the first place. Because I'm gay. I think he saw the fire in my eyes, because I was getting plenty annoyed with him.He did leave shortly after that. He's lucky I'm pretty cool-headed, and the owner talked me down. I was about ready to bloody his nose.I left early.Men friends? Fine. I have several. But **** buddies or trying to "cure" me; not appreciated. Not at all.BTW, this is not an April Fools joke.Lil Missy
KitchenWitch (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-02-09 12:07 AMResponse to Reply #18 64. It is that whole conquest mentality I encountered it a lot when I was single because I am a rather tall woman. A lot of short men LOVED me not for me, but for the whole "look at ME, I climbed this mountain" thing. Really ****ing annoying.
Withywindle (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-02-09 01:22 AMResponse to Reply #18 77. Who care about fantasies? We all have them! I'm a bi woman who is ALL about the slash fanfic (if you don't know what it is, google it) as a hobby and a private wanktasy, but I don't go to gay bars expecting men to perform for my benefit.Private fantasies are great; no harm, no foul, as long as they stay private.Making actual real people uncomfortable for the sake of your fantasies? Not cool. Not OK. Really, really not. I really especially hate the idea of LGBT spaces being exploited as places for "adventurous" straight suburbanites to "get their ya'yas out" before settling down with socially-approved co-breeder partners in the suburbs, with no increased social/political awareness involved.
Withywindle (1000+ posts) Thu Apr-02-09 01:34 AMResponse to Reply #38 80. I had a friend like that in college. Male. Gay. So very gay. Had the cajones to come out in his high school in Cincinnati in the mid-80s - first student ever in that school system to do so.I didn't disrespect his gay identity - I was just so crushed out on him because he was so much more fun to be with than most males I'd known (except the ones I always put mentally in the "friends only " category. DUH - of COURSE, those are the best men!). I just thought, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I was SO good in bed that I could eventually get him to have sex with me and enjoy it. I mean, I could give a blowjob as good as any man, right? It's not like I hadn't practiced!Never happened, really. No matter how many mushrooms he took, the best I ever got out of him was one french kiss laden with peyote and wine, and there was no followup.Now? Doesn't matter one whit. I like being his friend. If I'd pushed harder 20 years ago, he could have written me off as an attempted-rapist (and been right). I'm SO much happier to get an invite to his and his husband's wedding!
Jamastiene (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-01-09 09:27 PMResponse to Original message 4. KEEP YOUR FILTHY MITS OFF MY PERSON, ASSHOLE!
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-01-09 09:29 PMResponse to Original message 6. Good for you! I would have belted him!I mean, really.Men (well, at least this one) and their ****ing rescue fantasies.
Does a lesbian bar have a men's room, and who uses it?
bounce, bounce....yo lady denial ain't just...... Jesus loves you too.....um.. oh heck she's probably ugly
What's bothering him, do you think?
That pretty much sums up the populations feelings about gays so guess you should learn to keep it private,okay.
I did finally tell him, "you do know this is a gay women's bar, don't you?" He said yes, I do know that. But I think lots of straight women come here, so I don't want to exclude the possibility of meeting women here. Some eventually realize they made a mistake, and haven't met the right guy yet.
Funny, that's similar to the same conversation I have when someone on the left is trying to convince me I should be a socialist. As if I needed to be cured.Cindie
