primitives deal with explosive bread dough

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x57715

Oh my.  The experiences primitives have.

Neecy  (1000+ posts)        Sun Feb-22-09 03:40 PM
Original message
 
I just had a pkg of frozen bread dough explode in my hands.

I just did battle with a $1.98 package of frozen bread dough and the bread dough won.

Yesterday afternoon I took this demon bread out of the freezer to thaw, as I had planned to make pepperoni bread last night. After a very long afternoon of helping my sister adopt a Beagle, I got home late and figured I'd make it today, so I threw it into the refrigerator.

Warning. Frozen bread dough, once thawed, will rise even in a cold refrigerator.

A few minutes ago I reached into the refrigerator to remove the bag and just as I thought to myself, "Gee, this thing sure got huge" I heard a loud POP and the bag shredded. Fortunately bread dough is fairly dense so it didn't splatter everywhere, but just enough oozed out onto the floor for my five-month old puppy to start eating before I even realized what had happened. Fun times.

This is perhaps my stupidest cooking experience ever.

No comment.

The diet cola primitive:

Tab  (1000+ posts)        Sun Feb-22-09 05:06 PM
Response to Original message
 
1. Yeah, leave a bag of pizza dough sealed in the fridge and eventually the bag is expanded with "air" (really, the gases), so be careful when you open it.

The instant rolls that came in the cardboard tube used to do that too. You'd unwrap them and then POP!

Catches you by surprise the first time.

Not necessarily a stupid cooking experience (although if you consider that your stupidest then you have a better track record than I). It was a learning experience, though.

Grandma:

hippywife  (1000+ posts)      Sun Feb-22-09 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #1
 
2. Ahem...yeast farts.

After which the primitives describe menstruation, but I don't want to go there.

The warped primitive:

Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Feb-23-09 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #1
 
12. Poppin Fresh does so with a vengeance here at 6000 feet! All I have to do is loosen the wrapper half an inch or so at the tab and the tube pops apart. Of course, the rolls (the few times a year I eat them) are sky high when I take them out of the oven, so low air pressure at high altitude does have a use.

I can't tell you how many cans of soup I threw out before I realized that none of them is going to hiss at this altitude when I pop in the can opener.

Next time you want to rest bread dough in a plastic bag in the fridge, pop a couple of pinholes into the wrapper. That will likely be enough to release the serious gas.

The Polynesian Queen primitive, the primitive woman bothered by cold weather:

troubleinwinter  (1000+ posts)      Mon Feb-23-09 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #12
 
13. Great clue you gave: "pop a couple of pinholes into the wrapper"

I live a mile high, and have learned that when I fly from low altitude to home, to squeeze air out of shampoos, makeup foundation, etc., before flight to prevent SPURTTT!!! when I open them upon arriving home.

Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Feb-23-09 03:51 PM
Response to Reply #13

14. Oh, shoot, liquid stuff like that packed at sea level has long been the bane of my existence. Justify to the DEA that you've lost half a syringe of morphine some time because you're a flatlander who didn't realize she had to take the cap off with the thing pointing up in the air.

I've learned how to open shampoo and conditioner bottles verry sllooowwwly.

troubleinwinter  (1000+ posts)      Sun Feb-22-09 05:38 PM
Response to Original message
 
5. Egads! Yeah, fun times.

I can't imagine cleaning up exploded dough!

My stupidest kitchen experience was when I put a big bowl of too old macaroni salad down the disposer...drain pipe had come disconnected and cabinet door was open.

I had very finely minced macaroni salad on the floor, stove, cupboards, walls and ceiling.

Ever after, I never ran the disposer with the cabinet door open, just in case.

hippywife  (1000+ posts)      Sun Feb-22-09 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #5
 
6. OMG! I think I would have cried.

What a mess!

troubleinwinter  (1000+ posts)      Sun Feb-22-09 05:58 PM
Response to Reply #6
 
8. Well, I wasn't gonna admit this, but

I was so freaked out, I called my husband at work. A good friend/coworker answered. I breathlessly told him what had happened with a bunch of !!!!?OMG???!!OMG!!!!??!!!

Friend said, "Well, then, clean it up." I felt like an idiot.

Of course.

But for the Polynesian Queen primitive, being an idiot is 24/7/365.
 

[Inga]

Taking biscuits out of the refrigerator for breakfast in the morning catches me off guard sometimes.

[franksolich]

Taking biscuits out of the refrigerator for breakfast in the morning catches me off guard sometimes.

It's happened to me a few times, but it's usually because the cardboard roll of biscuit dough is like, four or five years old.

Such things if kept in a refrigerator can last until they're antique.

[DULurkster]

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.

He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

[The Village Idiot]

blonde? floriduh?