Someone told me to go back where I came from today. But I got the last laugh.

[Texacon]

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100213702859


Original style bouncy!!

7 hrs ago
KentuckyWoman
Someone told me to go back where I came from today. But I got the last laugh.

Some woman took issue with my mask in Kroger. Behind me making all kinds of snide comments. I was just going to ignore it, get my stuff paid for and leave. She moved on to "I don't know why they can't just come in senior hour so we don't have to see them." WHAT THE WHAT????

Well that lit me. I turned around and said "Ma'am, I'm not doing anything that affects you in the least." Which of course set her off like Mt. St. Helens and ending with. "This is America and you people aren't going to stop us. If you don't like it here just go back to whatever shithole country you came from." I couldn't help it... I involuntarily bust out laughing.

Paid for my stuff. Started to go.. still giggling like a maniac under the mask. Should have just left. But no... I turned back to her and said. "Ma'am. You ought to know... I'm 5th generation Kentucky farm girl. I'm about as American as you'll ever see. But you are right, the current president is indeed turning us into a shithole country. All these flaming racist just need to crawl back under whatever rock they came out of and stay there." Well, I'm sure that's word for word, but it's close.

It isn't like me to create a scene. I'll about tie myself into knots to avoid a fight usually. But I've had it. My hackles were up pretty good. I guess I was louder than I thought. People in other lanes clapped... and some lady caught up with me to shake my hand.

2 hours later and I'm still pretty wound up. These idiots are just beyond awful. I mean this one was hateful on immigrants (why she thought I was is a mystery), masks, old people all in one. I was just standing there waiting my turn. Not bothering a soul and she starts up.

And still, I'm not sure if it's more annoying or hysterically funny.

 

KC

[jukin]

Zeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo bongs

[ChuckJ]

Zeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo bongs

Oh come on now. You should be more generous with your bongs. Even though she/he/it left off the “so” and didn’t have a cop jump out of the bushes she/he/it did add claps from the fictional audience. I think with the talent pool of the current crop of DUmmies she/he/it did a fair job of making up a story. I think she/he/it should at least get 1 and three-quarter bongs.

[DumbAss Tanker]

KentuckyWoman
Someone told me to go back where I came from today. But I got the last laugh.

"...So then I sez to her, sez I 'Well now, that'd be a really tight fit, and I'm afraid my Mother would pass away from the shock.'"

[Delmar]

People in other lanes clapped... and some lady caught up with me to shake my hand.

She admits to shaking hands.  What good is the mask if her hand is contaminated?  She should've bumped elbows or something--it would've made the story more believable.

[Ralph Wiggum]

still giggling like a maniac under the mask.

Apparently you were showing you inner maniac behind your virtue signaling mask.

BTW, Ralphie does wear a mask if I go to the grocery store or in only the appropriate situations. Out of caution for everyone, not symbolically. Really sick how this mask crap has become a political statement for so many.

[BamaMoose]

This Bouncy is bad enough to bring back this blast from the past:

Dreamer Tatum Donating Member (1000+ posts)     Sun Jun-19-11 08:18 PM
Original message
My grocery store smackdown.
   
So, I needed a couple of breakfast items, and I live in the reddest part of the reddest city in the reddest state
in the United States. I mean, it's nothing but McMansions, giant trucks, an late-model German sedans where I live,
all with vile bumperstickers, Truck Nutz, and everything you'd expect from a culture that values gain over everything
and everyone else. I would move, of course, but then they would win, and I have to stay here. I have to stay to stick
it to them.

Myself, I drive a paid-off 2005 Prius, and I used to get intimidated in traffic all the time. That was until it dawned
on me that all the truck drivers were compensating for incredibly small penises. When one of them cuts
me off in traffic, which is to say, ALL the time, I just hold up my thumb and forefinger about a quarter inch
apart so they can see it in their rear-view mirrors. I can't tell you the number of trucks that pull over
immediately when I do that. They know exactly what I'm referring to, and it shames them every time.

Anyway, I need some tofu and wheat germ for my usual breakfast, so I walk into the store at about seven AM. It's
packed full of people headed to work. Ordinarily, I'd feel sorry for them, but the volume or giant trucks and
German cars in the lot just made me feel glad that I work from home as a consultant to businesses that generate
green, sustainable energy from composted hemp and edamame husks. While I walked to the cooler where the tofu
is kept, I noticed a long line of angry-looking people at the donut counter. They were mostly fat and baggy-faced,
almost demanding that their donuts be boxed immediately so they could get on the road and cut off other people
while they waited for Rush Limbaugh to come on. I chuckled and thought, 'enjoy your donuts, along with the diabetes
and colon cancer, you freeptards. You don't even want single-payer, you idiots.'

The checkout line was long. Even though there are always a lot of people in that store, they never have enough
checkstands open. This is probably because the store manager wants to save payroll so he gets a bigger bonus,
because I know he sees all the expensive cars in his lot and it kills him. I'll never forget the time I overheard
him tell a stocker that he needed to clock out before he hit overtime, but that didn't mean he could go home,
because the beer cooler needed to be stocked before the football game the next day. Then he told the kid, "And
if I hear that union bullshit from you one more time, you're fired."

Anyway, I'm standing behind this behemoth guy with a giant tattoo on his bicep that I can't make out. He's
a typical suburban rethuglican: tall and fat, with enormous love handles. As he turned slightly, I was not
surprised to see that his tattoo was of a giant Ayn Rand. Seriously: an Ayn Rand tattoo. There is a RW tattoo
parlor here that advertises them on hate radio, and it's the latest thing in rethug fashion. Behind me, meanwhile,
is a guy in a knockoff Zegna suit and fake Chanel sunglasses (I know knockoffs when I see them, even though I
pretty much make all of my own clothes from hemp. When you make your own stuff, you can spot fakes easily.)
I noticed also that the guy in front of me has his keys on a belt clip, and of course there is a giant clump
of padlock keys next to a Ford key. He also has a keychain fob that I can make out as a long quote from Milton
Friedman, which I'm sure this dickhead thinks is just the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Anyway, the guy in front of us trying to pay is an immigrant worker from Mexico. I know this because some mornings
I sit outside the store with him as he waits for some of the assholes in giant trucks to offer him a day's
labor. My Spanish is just a little shaky, but I can understand it pretty well from the downloads I get of
Caracas news stations. His name is Isidro, and he's even given me a nickname: Ben Dayho. I don't know if there's
a sidekick from Mexican folk tales named Ben Dayho, or what, but I like it, and he lights up whenever I walk up
to him and say, "Hola, Isidro! Es mi, Ben Dayho!" Seems to make his day, which is the least I can do.

Isidro is buying an agua fresca, which is a fruit drink, and an apple. Or at least he's trying to buy it, because
there is some confusion at the register. The whole thing usually costs a dollar even, and Isidro is trying to
give a crumpled bill to the cashier. But I can see from the register screen (which has a picture-in-picture
of Fox News playing, naturally) that the price is now $1.10, and evidently Isidro doesn't understand. The cashier,
who this whole time has been winking at the guy with the Ayn Rand tattoo, keeps yelling, "NO! MAS!" And I see
Isidro turning beet red, not knowing what to do, surrounded by all these evil people leering at him. The irony
is that besides me, Isidro has the most healthful purchase...everyone else has what I call Freeper Chow: donuts,
sugared sodas, even beer.

I excuse myself and attempt to give Isidro the extra dime so we can all get going, but before I can, the massive
truck-driving asshole in front of me says, "Whoa, son. See this tattoo? She says we shouldn't be helping each
other. This meskin guy is on his own. And he should be - he looks illegal as hell to me, anyway." The cashier
winked at the guy again, and my blood started a fast boil. The guy behind me pretty much put the icing on the cake
when he said, "You guys are holding up the line. Do you know how much money I make? If you can't afford whatever
it is you're trying to buy, just put it down and be satisfied with whatever you stuffed into your pants anyway.
I work at Goldman Sachs. Won't be long before we own this store, but for now, hurry the **** up. My bonus is on the
line, and that Benz out there ain't free. But you'll never know that." He jingled his keys as though he was making
his point even more.

I cleared my throat with a loud AHEM and said, "Let me tell you something. Your savior may be Ayn Rand, but
I doubt you're capable of reading page one of that republican wet dream rag, and that's saying something,
because it would take a thousand Rands to equal one Gabriel Garcia Marquez on his WORST day. (I used Marquez
because I thought Isidro might recognize the name, him being Mexican and all, and I wanted to be sure that
I picked a Nobel Prize winner. My other choice was Gunther Grass, but that might have been too symbolic for
the freeper and the cashier.) And as for not helping, well, that attitude is what got us where we are now as
a country, not to mention thieves like you (I said that as I turned on my heel and pointed to the guy behind me.).
As for you ' - I pointed at the cashier - 'you should be looking out for guys like him. Since you aren't unionized,
thanks to your manager here, you're one missing dollar short of sitting on that same sidewalk outside. That's
how things are these days. And none of this is sustainable. We're losing rainforest. The seas are rising. Ice
caps are melting. Bank of America is foreclosing on people who haven't been born yet. Education has been slashed
to the degree that students use gum wrappers for textbooks. Our infrastructure is crumbling. There hasn't been
a decent movie since V is for Vendetta. And I. Blame. You."

I flipped a dime to Isidro, who caught it in midair and slammed it down on the counter. I dropped the tofu and
wheat germ on the floor, kicking off my latest boycott. I looked at the store manager and said, "Don't worry -
you'll have your pick of monster trucks soon, because assholes like everyone in this line will be selling
theirs soon to make a single house payment. Except Mr. Goldman here: oil is falling, and so will he be, from
a tall building, because of his losses."

A slow, faint clapping rose from the back of the line, which gathered into a crescendo of raucous applause. As
I walked out, I saw the men on either side of me bow their heads, and the giant freeper clasped his hand over his
Ayn Rand tattoo in shame. The Goldman guy had dialed his cell and was clearly describing me to someone on the other
line; it would probably get rough later. Not that I'm not accustomed to cracking some Blackwater skulls. As I walked
out, Isidro looked up at me with bright, shining eyes and simply said, "Gracias. Gracias, Ben Dayho. Muy Ben Dayho."
I have never been so proud as to be given a nickname by a new friend.

I'm writing all of this as I'm waiting for the news truck to show up. As I calmly walked out of the store
with my tofu and wheat germ, a woman in sweats ran up from behind me, begging me to wait. When I turned and
saw her face, without makeup, I assumed that she was just a victim of domestic violence, ie, the wife of
one of the rethugs I'd just left agape in the store. It wouldn't be the first time I helped the battered wife
of a truck-driving needledick rethug see a better way in life. It turns out, though, that she was a local news
anchor who was just buying some milk. I didn't recognize her because I got rid of my television years ago.
She gave me her card and told me she'd witnessed the entire thing, and she wanted to run a story on me one
night this week. I told her, "Look, Mindy, there are a million other people in this town that deserve a
news story more than me. But I'll do it, if for no other reason than to let people in this town know that the
tide is turning." She took her card back from me, turned it over, and wrote a phone number on the back. She
said it was her personal cell number, and I should call her sometime. I told her I'd consider it, but only
if she dyed her hair a different shade of Fox Anchor Blonde. She winked and said she suddenly realized she
needed to go back into the store for something she forgot.

I swear this happened.
Refresh | +8 Recommendations   

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1329640

Originally posted here by Freeper:  https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=60739.msg699735

[Zathras]

Can I have "Things that didn't happen" for $1000 Alex?

[SVPete]

Some woman took issue with my mask in Kroger. Behind me making all kinds of snide comments.

I wear a mask in public - in stores, at appropriate times in restaurants, has stations, etc.. It's either plain black or brown cloth or a generic disposable. I NEVER get a comment. So what detail did DU Moron KentuckyWoman leave out if the first part of her implausible happened? Was it a @#$% Trump mask or blazoned with some other hot issue political message?

[DumbAss Tanker]

I wear a mask in public - in stores, at appropriate times in restaurants, has stations, etc.. It's either plain black or brown cloth or a generic disposable. I NEVER get a comment. So what detail did DU Moron KentuckyWoman leave out if the first part of her implausible happened? Was it a @#$% Trump mask or blazoned with some other hot issue political message?

Me too, just a disposable though.  I have some lung issues and I see no reason to pretend otherwise, much as I hate it and the way it restricts my breathing, better safe than sorry.  But the fact that 2/3 of the other folks I see aren't wearing them doesn't bother me.  I have yet to see anybody of either stripe starting shit with the other here in deep Red territory.

[YupItsMe]

Apparently you were showing you inner maniac behind your virtue signaling mask.

BTW, Ralphie does wear a mask if I go to the grocery store or in only the appropriate situations. Out of caution for everyone, not symbolically. Really sick how this mask crap has become a political statement for so many.

The Hitler Youth wannabees in VT are outing people and stores on Social Media that don't follow their exact demands.

[thundley4]

I've worn a mask made from a bandana. Lately if I go into a store and I see more than 1 or 2 employees not wearing masks or many customers not wearing one, then mine comes down.

[USA4ME]

She admits to shaking hands.  What good is the mask if her hand is contaminated?

One of the first things I noticed, too.

If they're going to lie, and they're liberals so they're going to lie, then at least be a little smarter about your lying.

.