« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111  (Read 4612 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +555/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« on: February 17, 2009, 04:25:15 PM »
Quote
zulchzulu  (1000+ posts)
I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Non-existant Freeper!!11111      

So I was pouring coffee on this nonexistent FREEPER who lives in my Obama Under-roos and has been telling me to light fires and pointing out how attractive my neighbor's Toy Poodle is (I know he's a FREEPER even though he pretends to be this cute hippy Leprechaun) when Sara Palin came up and pushed me into this Clinton Thug Hillbot who jumped out of the bushes!

I knew it was Sarah Palin because she was dressed like a typical Rethug Slut and she had a "Palin 08" sticker on her bumper!

I turned around and started to beat the hell out of her hoping to make her crap her pants when the HILLBOT who jumped out of the bushes (Mercifull Hera I hate even USING that word!!11) suddenly told us we had to move much further than where we stood, which was 100 yards from the deli where I was getting my therapeutic 2 pound organic raspberry and tofu vegan tartlet. It was wearing one of these ****ing blue blazers and the asshole looked at the big peace sign I had tattooed on my forehead with jail ink when there was that mix-up with my penis and that chick who looked like she was 20 and chortled that it liked "peace". The Hillbot was trying to appease me and said that Hillary is "for kids". I pointed out that Obama had won and that Hillary ate babies regularly. It was stumped and robotically said that Hillary "cares about kids".

Then it clanked off and started melting trash cans with it's evil Centrist Democrat Death Beam Rays!

So, Palin comes after me and she has somehow morphed into this 70ish year old lady wearing stretchy yellow bingo pants and now has some Old Freeper with her who I notice is trying to peel off the "My Soul For Obama" Tattoo on my forearm!!!!11111  The guy was in his late-sixties with the usual accouterments an older vintage Freeper dumbass would wear...polyester pants and a too-tight shirt with a big beer gut, Vitalis hair slicked back, cigarette-stained teeth and the vibes of an angry old man.  I yelled "What the **** are you doing, asshole!" loudly and scared the crap out of him. I grabbed his arm and told him we're going to the front office to report him and Sarah Palin for violating my rights under the Patriot Act!!!!!1111111

They pleaded with me that they had no ****ing clue what was going on and called me things like "****in Loonball" and "Dumbass" and offered to pay in cash if I would stop screaming and spraying them with crazy spit as long as it's under $100. I just laughed!

I mean here I am dedicating time to sending a message of peace to the appeasers of the warmongers and just trying to drown the Fundie Rethug Leprechaun that lives in my underware with hot coffee before he makes me do the bad thing again and I get some old drunk woman claiming she isn't Sarah Palin and her old Freeper husband trying to tear off my OBAMA skin art and harshing my organic tartlet mellow!!!!11111

So I ripped my Captain Caveman backpack off and started hitting these two old ****s MERCILESSLY screaming the whole time "US OUT OF MY UTERUS!!!!" and they run screaming and crying and I notice they both crapped their pants. A policeman who had seen the whole thing jumped out of some other bushes (Gaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! The rethug neocon Nazi ****s RUINED that shrubbery term!!111) and took a couple of shots at them but they got away in a black Haliburton SUV. When they left a dog jumped out of a trash can and stopped barking.

Then everybody there high fived me and we laughed and laughed before posting a poll about it and asking if I deserved a Nobel or the Medal Of Honor and it was the best day ever. The End.

Since this Douchenozzle seems to have spread out all of his bouncies I decided to fix that and combine them all into one.  :whatever:

I caught some Freeper pouring coffee on my car and trying to remove my Obama bumpersticker:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6368149

I was pushed by a Clinton campaign thug to move into a non-existent protest zone:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=2887774

A Sarah Palin supporter tried to hit and run my car... I kid you not...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8202290
« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 09:00:43 PM by asdf2231 »
Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline LC EFA

  • Hickus Australianus
  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4527
  • Reputation: +414/-33
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2009, 04:42:37 PM »
Heh. That's funny.

I wonder if this is a new version of Bouncy Ball.

There might be call to redefine some terms... trouble is that a "zulchzulu" just doesn't have the same user friendly feel as a "bouncy".



Logged

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2009, 04:44:43 PM »
Quote from: LC EFA on February 17, 2009, 04:42:37 PM
Heh. That's funny.

I wonder if this is a new version of Bouncy Ball.

There might be call to redefine some terms... trouble is that a "zulchzulu" just doesn't have the same user friendly feel as a "bouncy".





Why not just call it "ZILCH" for short?

As in, the number of bongs his flat bouncies usually merit.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 04:46:21 PM by DefiantSix »
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58696
  • Reputation: +3070/-173
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2009, 04:45:03 PM »
Quote from: LC EFA on February 17, 2009, 04:42:37 PM
Heh. That's funny.

I wonder if this is a new version of Bouncy Ball.

There might be call to redefine some terms... trouble is that a "zulchzulu" just doesn't have the same user friendly feel as a "bouncy".

I've always called him the "zulu zucchini primitive," but that doesn't work either.

Probably best just to stick with "bouncy."
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline dutch508

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12522
  • Reputation: +1647/-1068
  • Remember
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2009, 04:55:59 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on February 17, 2009, 04:45:03 PM
I've always called him the "zulu zucchini primitive," but that doesn't work either.

Probably best just to stick with "bouncy."


"zuluDUmb"
Logged
The torch of moral clarity since 12/18/07

2016 DOTY: 06 Omaha Steve - Is dying for ****'s face! How could you not vote for him, you heartless bastards!?!

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58696
  • Reputation: +3070/-173
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2009, 05:00:38 PM »
Quote from: dutch508 on February 17, 2009, 04:55:59 PM

"zuluDUmb"

Now, that, sir, is a stroke of pure unfettered sparkling genius.

However, the zulu zucchini's tales aren't necessary bouncies, having no conversion in them, or that cop.

I suggest we adopt "zulu" for tales about primitives encountering decent and civilized people, in which the decent and civlized person allegedly does some damage to the primitive, or the primitive's property.

That way, we have:
(a) bouncies, that involve conversion
(b) stretchies, where the primitives exaggerate
(c) zulus, where the primitives have an unpleasant experience with decent and civilized people.
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2009, 05:12:13 PM »
Quote from: dutch508 on February 17, 2009, 04:55:59 PM

"zuluDUmb"

Dutch, that's H5-worthy.

Same with the OP--asdf, that was pure comedic genius.  Also H5.

Coach, I second your creation of a third category for DUmb**** stories.  (H5 as well.)
Logged
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline Karin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17547
  • Reputation: +1630/-80
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2009, 03:10:47 PM »
asdf, great creative writing!  Most enjoyable. H5.  (P.S., does the "crapping the pants" theme appear often in the Bouncies?)
Logged

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +555/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2009, 04:33:36 PM »
Quote from: Karin on February 18, 2009, 03:10:47 PM
asdf, great creative writing!  Most enjoyable. H5.  (P.S., does the "crapping the pants" theme appear often in the Bouncies?)

Only with Zulutard who claimed to have assaulted an elderly gentlemen so fiercely he pooped.

Bragged on it.
Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline Chris

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1476
  • Reputation: +522/-16
Re: I Got Pushed By Sara Palin While Pouring Coffee On A Nonexistant Freeper!!11111
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2009, 05:22:12 PM »
Better than MadLibs.
Logged
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »