I'm trying to figure out just how Valentines Day fits with Planned Parenthood. The only thing I can come up with is:
1. Guy happens to be in a bar on Valentine's Day, brings slutty, drunk, slightly flabby leftist chick that he met back to his house. The cute chick she came with already had a date but what the hell.
2. Takes girl home. Plies her with more booze and smokes some of his roommate's pot.
3. He's finally drunk and stoned enough that she looks okay. Almost goes limp when he sees her hairy legs & armpits but closes his eyes and sallies forth.
4. He's done 15 minutes later and too drunk and tired to think about waking up next to flabby slut in the morning. Rolls over & go to sleep.
5. Wakes up in the morning with a screaming headache, turns over and wonders how the hell he ended up with a Wookie in his bed...suddenly feels nauseous and heads for bathroom.
6. Wakes Wookie up, tells her she's got to go...he's moving to Canada to avoid the draft. She reminds him there is no draft. He tells her he's just getting a head start on the next war. Makes a mental note to never go to that bar again.
7. A month later, after several more nights of this same kind of "date" (why the hell can't she find a good man), slutty, flabby chick finds out she's pregnant. Heads for Planned Parenthood where she's on a first name basis.
8. Hops up on the table for her 3rd abortion. Doctor vacuums tissue mass out of body. Hops of table and says "Well that sucked." Gladly takes prescription for pain killers (best part of the procedure). They say she should probably think about getting some birth control. Slutty, flabby chick says she'll think about it. Walks out the door, waves, and tells them she'll see them in a couple of months.
Cindie
