Agreed - the (mis)use of language does feel English - we've got to own this one I'm afraid.
I don't know that
Soph0571 is typical of English people. I've worked with a few in tech, and my wife and I visited England for a few days as part of and after a cruise some years ago. Because it worked better for us, we took a taxi rather than a train from Canterbury to London and had a pleasant conversation with the driver en route. Even though conversational usage is usually more informal than written, we never heard anything as unintelligible as
Soph0571's
-tale. Our visit was quite pleasant, though a tourist's micro-sample.
My own bouncy - for amusement, nothing political. Though she is currently stuck here in the states, unable to return, my daughter is a student at an international university in central China (being distant from the major population centers of China, it is somewhat of what US people sometimes call a "Moo-U"). She is quite fluent in Mandarin, and there are students from all over the world. She is occasionally asked, along with other English-speaking friends from the UK and Oz, whether an English expression is American, British, Aussie, or Kiwi. At least once all had to agree that they didn't know.