It pains me to see this Klam group so worked up. I still haven't finished the fictional spirit-guiding course designated as 'Dealing with Screeching Harpies 101' so the situation is out of my element, but maybe the below will at least bring some humor into their lives.
What do you call a chick with one black eye? A fast learner.
What do you tell a chick with two black eyes? Nothing. You’ve done told her twice.
The other night Babs was invited out for a night with "the girls."
She told her husband that she would be home by midnight. "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, Babs headed for home.
Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly realizing her husband would probably wake up, Babs cuckooed another 9 times.
She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning her husband asked her what time she got in, and she told him midnight.
He didn't seem disturbed at all.
(Whew! Got away with that one! she thought).
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When she asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
