Author Topic: The monkey & the football  (Read 19927 times)

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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #25 on: January 09, 2010, 04:36:03 PM »
Thus -  one of my goals in the next couple of years is to locate and purchase a decent parcel of "unimproved" land with the goal of moving out there and establishing a setup that is as close to self sufficient as is possible.

My brother and sis-in-law took the kids to the Dinosaur Valley State Park and to the safari park right near it down in Glen Rose, TX. I have to say the pictures of the valley are stunningly beautiful. If TSHTF it would be a great place to take over. The giraffes and zebra's and stuff are all use to seeing humans in cars and like to stand by the narrow road as they go by looking for the food buckets.



I am trying to get the SIL to scan me a pic of the valley from above.

Offline Thor

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2010, 04:46:10 PM »
My brother and sis-in-law took the kids to the Dinosaur Valley State Park and to the safari park right near it down in Glen Rose, TX. I have to say the pictures of the valley are stunningly beautiful. If TSHTF it would be a great place to take over. The giraffes and zebra's and stuff are all use to seeing humans in cars and like to stand by the narrow road as they go by looking for the food buckets.



I am trying to get the SIL to scan me a pic of the valley from above.

I'm too lazy to do the picture work, but here's a link:

Dinosaur Valley
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Offline catsmtrods

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2010, 04:36:21 PM »
Cats, you are a walking victim, you have all your eggs in one basket.

No way will you see a problem coming,  you will be seeing what you expect to see, put at ease and when TSHTF you will be too confused to a

So you head out for a wealthy home to repair something, you need a gun or knife.??  What kind of situation could arise at a prive home that makes it necessary to carry a gun.?

I think I would be more afraid of you then anything.   So you wander about in a van carring a gun and a knife, darn if I knew that I would keep a shot gun on you as you cleared my plumbing.

You are the problem in this case, you are one SPOOKY Dude.




Lets see I work in homes that have a home monitor temp sensor installed in them and a lock box outside with a key for me to enter the house. So when the temp drops in the hse I get a call and go to the hse. I enter with the key and feel the cold air as I search for lights and the heating system I see the back door has been kicked in, hence the reason for the temp drop! Now do I need a gun? These houses are all weekend or vacation homes and dispatch calls before I go to see if anyone is home but the cust. has gone out for the evening and the trained to kill dog don't answer the phone and I come waltzing. Now do I need a gun? I get sent to a crack infested part of the inner city and the crack heads think I am an easy mark and the van is full of copper and tools. Now do I need a gun? All of these scenarios have happened to me more than once. Oh yeah, I have been attacked by a drunken customer in his basement. Was that you?
"Liberalism is an essentially feminine, submissive world view. Perhaps a better adjective than feminine is infantile. It is the world view of men who do not have the moral toughness, the spiritual strength to stand up and do single combat with life, who cannot adjust to the reality that the world is not a huge, pink-and-blue, padded nursery in which the lions lie down with the lambs and everyone lives happily ever after."


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Offline rich_t

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2010, 04:39:37 PM »
The scenario: You're at work when the monkey starts humpin' the football. What essentials items do you have in your cubicle or office or job site that will get you safely home, or to the predetermined hunker down spot of choice.

Would you travel alone or with others?

And no cheating because the football humpin' monkey is so big it's clogged all the roads with traffic. No backpack (unless you really keep one in the cubicle or office) so what could you fit in your pockets or carry in your hands to ensure your survival from point A to point B? It's a 72 hour scenario with a hot bath and some soup in a mug waiting for you at the end.

I keep a basic survival kit bag in the trunk of my car.
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Offline vesta111

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2010, 08:11:03 AM »
Lets see I work in homes that have a home monitor temp sensor installed in them and a lock box outside with a key for me to enter the house. So when the temp drops in the hse I get a call and go to the hse. I enter with the key and feel the cold air as I search for lights and the heating system I see the back door has been kicked in, hence the reason for the temp drop! Now do I need a gun? These houses are all weekend or vacation homes and dispatch calls before I go to see if anyone is home but the cust. has gone out for the evening and the trained to kill dog don't answer the phone and I come waltzing. Now do I need a gun? I get sent to a crack infested part of the inner city and the crack heads think I am an easy mark and the van is full of copper and tools. Now do I need a gun? All of these scenarios have happened to me more than once. Oh yeah, I have been attacked by a drunken customer in his basement. Was that you?

This is so funny, I can imagine from your description a man headed into a at the time vacant home to repair something.   As you walk in you realise that the place has been burglarized.

You don't hit the highway, you hang around to see just what the heck has happend, one heck of a story to tell the fellas at the bar tonight-----Yup, I found 6 dead body's, blood everywhere. 

Then you went to the basement and found Vesta naked as a jay bird listening to Neal Diamond drinking Thunderbird and smoking a Cuban cigar. 

One would think the sight of Vesta in that circumstance would make you forget you have a gun or knife on you.      RUNNNNNNNN.

So months later you are at this bar telling the old story of body's and blood.   This is getting so old, in passing you mention the woman in the cellar, something so traumatic you have until now blanked out of you mind.  People gather to hear this new news and the waitress comes over to bring you another drink.             Hi Big Fella, I am your waitress tonight, my name is VESTA.       

Offline catsmtrods

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #30 on: January 11, 2010, 06:20:44 PM »
This is so funny, I can imagine from your description a man headed into a at the time vacant home to repair something.   As you walk in you realise that the place has been burglarized.

You don't hit the highway, you hang around to see just what the heck has happend, one heck of a story to tell the fellas at the bar tonight-----Yup, I found 6 dead body's, blood everywhere. 

Then you went to the basement and found Vesta naked as a jay bird listening to Neal Diamond drinking Thunderbird and smoking a Cuban cigar. 

One would think the sight of Vesta in that circumstance would make you forget you have a gun or knife on you.      RUNNNNNNNN.

So months later you are at this bar telling the old story of body's and blood.   This is getting so old, in passing you mention the woman in the cellar, something so traumatic you have until now blanked out of you mind.  People gather to hear this new news and the waitress comes over to bring you another drink.             Hi Big Fella, I am your waitress tonight, my name is VESTA.       
You have quite an imagination! Actually I leave the scene as fast as I can and call the police. They come and with guns drawen go in and scope out the house. Jeeze your spooky!
"Liberalism is an essentially feminine, submissive world view. Perhaps a better adjective than feminine is infantile. It is the world view of men who do not have the moral toughness, the spiritual strength to stand up and do single combat with life, who cannot adjust to the reality that the world is not a huge, pink-and-blue, padded nursery in which the lions lie down with the lambs and everyone lives happily ever after."


~ Dr. William Pierce


 

"How many more times are we going to cower under tables and chairs, whimpering like mindless dogs, thinking that someone else has the responsibility to save and protect us?"

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #31 on: January 11, 2010, 06:34:35 PM »
You have quite an imagination! Actually I leave the scene as fast as I can and call the police. They come and with guns drawen go in and scope out the house. Jeeze your spooky!

zing

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #32 on: January 12, 2010, 07:53:38 PM »
Lay off my CFO. Vestas' heart is in the right place. She is also a Conservative elder. I find it disappointing that the adults here can't respect each others opinions enough to disagree amicably. Also, I'm sure if you guys keep this up...she'll cut you. That killer instinct is why I made her CFO of the First Bank of Burr.

Nuff said.

So, all you survivalist types, paranoid delusionals' and gun humpers check this scenario out.

Haiti Rocks.

Yup. 7.0 earthquake. Buildings collapsed, no power, no water, no nothin' but a whole lot of freaked out people. Having gone through several of these, all I can think of when I see something like this is..."those guys are fugged."

What would I do? Get liquored up like I did for the last earthquake. It was that or try to (gah) help people.
 

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #33 on: January 12, 2010, 08:22:08 PM »
Lay off my CFO. Vestas' heart is in the right place. She is also a Conservative elder. I find it disappointing that the adults here can't respect each others opinions enough to disagree amicably. Also, I'm sure if you guys keep this up...she'll cut you. That killer instinct is why I made her CFO of the First Bank of Burr.

Nuff said.

So, all you survivalist types, paranoid delusionals' and gun humpers check this scenario out.

Haiti Rocks.

Yup. 7.0 earthquake. Buildings collapsed, no power, no water, no nothin' but a whole lot of freaked out people. Having gone through several of these, all I can think of when I see something like this is..."those guys are fugged."

What would I do? Get liquored up like I did for the last earthquake. It was that or try to (gah) help people.
 

I like you.  Respect for Conservative Elders, and liquor.   :cheersmate:

I heard about Haiti.  Different type of situation.  I lived in Hurricane Zone for years.  I would think the supplies for that particular SHTF, would be much like those in an earthquake.  Water supply and communication being key, right after a method of protecting one's self and property.  I have never endured an Earthquake, and hope not to.  I like my disasters predictable, like Hurricanes.  I imagine Haiti is a big ole dust bin right now.  Damn
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #34 on: January 12, 2010, 08:37:37 PM »
Haiti Rocks.

Yup. 7.0 earthquake. Buildings collapsed, no power, no water, no nothin' but a whole lot of freaked out people. Having gone through several of these, all I can think of when I see something like this is..."those guys are fugged."

Damage in the tens and tens of dollars.

Seriously though, its real sad

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #35 on: January 12, 2010, 08:39:17 PM »
Damage in the tens and tens of dollars.

Seriously though, its real sad

Indeed it is.
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #36 on: January 12, 2010, 08:45:45 PM »
Well, it's dark now in Haiti. Many people can't get back to their homes. Many buildings are unstable and off limits. Debris and collapsed houses everywhere, oh and lots of freaked out...and hungry people.

Sounds like your average run of the mill disaster scenario. For some reason I just can't picture all these Haitians turning against each other in this time of crisis and going after each other with gunz on a large scale. Neither can I picture most Americans huddling in the basement or taking pot shots at one another after a disaster strikes. Sure, some of that happens, but most people want to help each other. Like they did after the big S.F. quake. Or the one in L.A. Or Mexico City. Or even in the aftermath of Katrina.

I don't know why so many survivalists think having gunz and ammo is the way to go. It's not, as Vesta and I have tried to make the case in our own ways. The way to go is with each other.

You know, E pluribus unum and all that.

Oh, and thanks Mrs. Tots. Can't be a Conservative without respect...and a well stocked liquor cabinet.

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #37 on: January 12, 2010, 08:47:45 PM »
WHat no umpa lumpas from an earthquake?

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #38 on: January 12, 2010, 08:58:12 PM »
The Umpa Lumpa gambit was designed to offer the isolationists an alternative to shootin' their fellow Americans on sight.

This is a real scenario. Thousands of people dead. Infrastructure whacked, and the possibility of a big ass Tsunami killing even more.

If I had Umpa Lumpas, I'd be shipping them to Haiti to help out.....if they got eaten instead, I'd just put that down as a write off on my tax return.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2010, 09:52:57 PM by Aaron Burr »

Offline Thor

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #39 on: January 12, 2010, 11:12:21 PM »
Well, it's dark now in Haiti. Many people can't get back to their homes. Many buildings are unstable and off limits. Debris and collapsed houses everywhere, oh and lots of freaked out...and hungry people.

Sounds like your average run of the mill disaster scenario. For some reason I just can't picture all these Haitians turning against each other in this time of crisis and going after each other with gunz on a large scale. Neither can I picture most Americans huddling in the basement or taking pot shots at one another after a disaster strikes. Sure, some of that happens, but most people want to help each other. Like they did after the big S.F. quake. Or the one in L.A. Or Mexico City. Or even in the aftermath of Katrina.

I don't know why so many survivalists think having gunz and ammo is the way to go. It's not, as Vesta and I have tried to make the case in our own ways. The way to go is with each other.

You know, E pluribus unum and all that.

Oh, and thanks Mrs. Tots. Can't be a Conservative without respect...and a well stocked liquor cabinet.


Guns will not only provide protection, but will also provide food, provided one is proficient with them. I have what I need and believe me, my guns and ammo will be part of my pack out if we decide to leave the home base for any amount of time or distance. At one point in my life, I was able to fight without weapons and even disarm someone should it be necessary. I can't do that any more. I haz my stockpiles of "good stuff"...  ;)

Cats, you are a walking victim, you have all your eggs in one basket.

No way will you see a problem coming,  you will be seeing what you expect to see, put at ease and when TSHTF you will be too confused to a

So you head out for a wealthy home to repair something, you need a gun or knife.??  What kind of situation could arise at a prive home that makes it necessary to carry a gun.?

I think I would be more afraid of you then anything.   So you wander about in a van carring a gun and a knife, darn if I knew that I would keep a shot gun on you as you cleared my plumbing.

You are the problem in this case, you are one SPOOKY Dude.


Those that would consider gun owners/users "problems" and "SPOOKY" are the ones with problems. We are merely exercising our 2nd Amendment rights. If THAT'S a "problem", then they don't belong in the USA. Perhaps Britain would be a better place.....


BTW, Vesta, have you ever heard of "Situational Awareness"?? Many gun owners practice that. ;)
"The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation."- IBID

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Offline catsmtrods

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #40 on: January 13, 2010, 03:06:48 AM »
That sure would suck!. I would imagine that for quite some time I would be doing whatever I could to try and save some lives.

Vesta just seems so anti gun? In my opinion if you are anti gun you belong over at the dump. Feedom to bear arms is the one right that when lost is the end of freedom at all. Its is the one right that all Conservatives should be fighting the hardest to keep.

T :confused:hat said the thought of her naked as a jay bird listening to Neal Diamond drinking Thunderbird and smoking a Cuban cigar was very disturbing to me. 
"Liberalism is an essentially feminine, submissive world view. Perhaps a better adjective than feminine is infantile. It is the world view of men who do not have the moral toughness, the spiritual strength to stand up and do single combat with life, who cannot adjust to the reality that the world is not a huge, pink-and-blue, padded nursery in which the lions lie down with the lambs and everyone lives happily ever after."


~ Dr. William Pierce


 

"How many more times are we going to cower under tables and chairs, whimpering like mindless dogs, thinking that someone else has the responsibility to save and protect us?"

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #41 on: January 13, 2010, 12:05:51 PM »
I'm sure Mrs. Vesta isn't anti gun, and I'm sure all she needs to do to defend her self is use her Neil Diamond albums as flying guillotines. This is supposed to be a fun thread, and it just irks me that Conservatives would snipe away at each other like...well...like those talking monkeys on the left. (Yes,yes, I know I'm supposed to refer to them as primitives, but I think that appellation confers too much dignity upon them.)

O.K. I think Thor asked somewhere if anyone had seen After Armageddon. I haven't, because I don't watch T.V. However, I saw in the local paper that they filmed that show down in Dewey, about 8 miles from where I am right now. The article had a picture of some fat dude with a beard and floppy hat in the back of a pickup. Oh, and he had his gun and post Apocalyptic scowl. He was in front of his "compound", you know, bent fence posts, barbed wire, other dudes on horseback with gunz. etc... etc...

At first view I couldn't help but notice that A.) He'll never survive Armageddon in that hat, and B.) what's with all the gunz?

I own gunz and I really, really, like controlled detonation of high explosive ordnance. So I get the whole self defense deal. It's just the mindset I don't get. Who's he so afraid of? His neighbors?

After Armageddon I'll most likely check on my neighbors. See if they have enough frito pie and whatnot. I don't plan on having to use my gunz on anything other than stupid and delicious animals....maybe a prius or two.

I just hope if the monkey starts humpin' the football, that it wont serve as an excuse for fat dudes in floppy hats to start shootin' at each other.

Or maybe that will be a good thing as it'll cut down on S.S.I. payouts by FedGov.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2010, 01:36:45 PM by Aaron Burr »

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #42 on: January 13, 2010, 12:15:57 PM »
If After Armageddon was the one they were showing last weekend, yeah I saw it.  And that was one crazy looking man.  Kinda Deliverance-y looking people.   THAT is why I want a gun.  :uhsure: 
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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Offline Thor

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #43 on: January 13, 2010, 12:19:04 PM »
I don't recall seeing that "fat dude" and I watched it twice. Maybe they edited it out. :clueless:

As far as using my gun on other humans, I certainly HOPE that I never am forced to do so. However, knowing mankind as I do, there are enough of them, even now, that would wish to do me or my family harm. They have no soul, no compassion, no regrets about hurting me or another to achieve their goals or do their evil. In a SHTF scenario, those types of people would multiply at an exponential level. Did you not watch the news coverage of the post Katrina incidents?? My God, these assholes were firing on military RESCUE helicopters trying to render aid and assistance to people !!! Lord knows what the hell they'd do to a normal citizen.... Prepare for the worst, HOPE for the best.
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #44 on: January 13, 2010, 12:23:54 PM »
I don't recall seeing that "fat dude" and I watched it twice. Maybe they edited it out. :clueless:



I think he was at that road block. 
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Thor

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #45 on: January 13, 2010, 01:06:11 PM »
I dunno......... I recall one at the road block that was rather adamant about the family not entering their town. Anyways, I don't know whether or not AB has ever attended any type of shooting sports gathering. Many of the shooters are rather overweight to even obese. The vast majority of them possess the same attitude as I do. They hope NOT to have to shoot somebody, but will do so if the situation requires it. I only know of a dozen carry advocates/ licensees in MN that have ever had to pull their gun and less than that who have ever fired their guns at someone. (IIR, two, maybe three up to the point I left)
"The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation."- IBID

I AM your General Ne'er Do Well, Troublemaker & All Around Meanie!!

"Congress has not unlimited powers to provide for the general welfare, but only those specifically enumerated."-Thomas Jefferson

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #46 on: January 13, 2010, 01:13:39 PM »
I dunno......... I recall one at the road block that was rather adamant about the family not entering their town. Anyways, I don't know whether or not AB has ever attended any type of shooting sports gathering. Many of the shooters are rather overweight to even obese. The vast majority of them possess the same attitude as I do. They hope NOT to have to shoot somebody, but will do so if the situation requires it. I only know of a dozen carry advocates/ licensees in MN that have ever had to pull their gun and less than that who have ever fired their guns at someone. (IIR, two, maybe three up to the point I left)

True.  I think that show portrayed all the people with guns, except maybe that sheriff in a poor light.  Everyone was made to look all deliverance-y.  Of all the gun people I know, I only know of a few that pulled their guns, in their own house,  but those people lived off of Beacon and Columbia in Dallas, and well, if you know the area, you know why.  The cops didn't even like to go there.
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline vesta111

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #47 on: January 13, 2010, 01:21:38 PM »
I think he was at that road block. 

 :rotf: :rotf:   we have some very Witty people in here,     Great!!!

Anti-gun you say, I wonder what I have in my 2 ton gun safe, GOLD, or Diamonds.?

Anti-gun, yeah, for those with $500.00 and no idea how to take the safety off one of them.

I can head out for the range and spend a Sunday blowing up everything in sight, big deal.  Then I can awake in the night to strange sounds and blow my ***** or dog , not to mention my own big toe away.

Give me a break, shooting a rabid dog, rattlesnake or bear is one thing, pulling the trigger on a human being is much different.

I was raised in hunting family's, they brought in game and did shooting for sport, except in war time guns were not needed for protection.

Grandma had her wonderful Sheleia stick beside the door, old sleeping farm dog before the stove, she had no fear.

Today I carry a stun gun that I forget about in my purse. Bought in the mid 1980's and still have no idea if it actually works.  No frogs were harmed in any trials.

Body language can do much to discourage others, I delivered Pizza to the Ghettos, skinny, white woman with $20.00 and a big pizza with the darn thing under the pizza.    Must have been the body language as every night I hoped someone would try to grab the food so I could try out my new toy.   No luck, soon as the midnight folks saw me they all disappeared off to some where.

A gun has all the leagel questions that come if you must use it, stun guns have few.

Rather try anything from a cast iron skillet to a BBQ fork before a gun---those are for the very last resort.    


Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #48 on: January 13, 2010, 03:14:02 PM »
I'm sure Mrs. Vesta isn't anti gun, and I'm sure all she needs to do to defend her self is use her Neil Diamond albums as flying guillotines. This is supposed to be a fun thread, and it just irks me that Conservatives would snipe away at each other like...well...like those talking monkeys on the left. (Yes,yes, I know I'm supposed to refer to them as primitives, but I think that appellation confers too much dignity upon them.)

O.K. I think Thor asked somewhere if anyone had seen After Armageddon. I haven't, because I don't watch T.V. However, I saw in the local paper that they filmed that show down in Dewey, about 8 miles from where I am right now. The article had a picture of some fat dude with a beard and floppy hat in the back of a pickup. Oh, and he had his gun and post Apocalyptic scowl. He was in front of his "compound", you know, bent fence posts, barbed wire, other dudes on horseback with gunz. etc... etc...

If the crap hits the fan I doubt there would soon be many fat guys.

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #49 on: January 13, 2010, 03:52:32 PM »
Only if all those dudes quit workin' and start huddling in their basements. Or we could just go with the Umpa Lumpas as a source of nutrients.

O.K. I'm going to have to scan the photo from the paper. In the meantime I'll replace the derogatory term "fat" with "cross eyed" instead. The gentleman in question is wearing sun glasses so it's hard to tell...but it stands to reason.

Anyway, about that After Armageddon show...

It was produced by Randy Murry. Who's he? You tell me. Crazy Socialist Bastard.com

So from my perspective, the show is designed to A.) make gun owners look nuts, and B.) create an atmosphere of fear, mistrust, and angst.

Didn't someone once say "If you don't know the history of the author you don't know what you're reading.." or something like that?

Same goes for the idjit box. Especially the idjit box.

So go make friends with your neighbors, become a block captain, run for city council, whatever. Just  work to preserve the Union. that's the best survival plan there is.