Author Topic: The monkey & the football  (Read 16734 times)

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Offline Aaron Burr

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The monkey & the football
« on: January 07, 2010, 09:37:59 PM »
The scenario: You're at work when the monkey starts humpin' the football. What essentials items do you have in your cubicle or office or job site that will get you safely home, or to the predetermined hunker down spot of choice.

Would you travel alone or with others?

And no cheating because the football humpin' monkey is so big it's clogged all the roads with traffic. No backpack (unless you really keep one in the cubicle or office) so what could you fit in your pockets or carry in your hands to ensure your survival from point A to point B? It's a 72 hour scenario with a hot bath and some soup in a mug waiting for you at the end.

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2010, 09:43:28 PM »
For the LOVE OF PETE!  Do I have to WALK home???

With that being said, I have a 20 mile commute, passing by houses of my buddies, and I would stop in, for whatever I needed in a real scenario, but, for the sake of it, I will pretend I can't get there.

My letter opener.  
The snack bars in my drawer.
Bandaids and antibacterial ointment from the first aid box.
batteries
I keep a knife in my purse, so I will already have that, and if I get to stop by the car I can't drive, I would also get my tire iron, and pepper spray.

edited to add a few bottles of water, and a coke.  (not sure why about the coke, but we have em, so why not?)

(I have an office gig, I don't know what else I could rip from my cube.)
« Last Edit: January 07, 2010, 09:52:58 PM by IassaFTots »
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2010, 09:53:24 PM »


It would be very convenient to have an M-4 and a bag of rations at the office I guess. lol.

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2010, 09:57:33 PM »
I can get a rifle and mre's  and anything I need, about 4 miles away, and that is where I would go, but I took that out of the equation to answer the question how it was written.

R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2010, 10:36:38 PM »
No,no, any answer works. I just figured I'd try to make it as real as possible. You're at work, or stuck in traffic. I hadn't thought that friends might live along the commute home. If something like an EMP pulse whacked us, then cars and electricity wouldn't work. Gas pumps, money boxes etc,etc. So it's walking or mugging a Jr. High kid for his lowrider bicycle.

I figured most people don't go walking around with gas masks and jungle knives to work so it stands to reason that just getting home would be the first major obstacle. Well, not for me as I work from home, don't watch cable and only have one A.M. station. I might hear about Armageddon between local High School football scores but I'm not really sure I'd notice anything was amiss until the local Chinese restaurant closed down. (Ain't never gonna' happen, they've survived two fires, a flood and the Alien Exclusion Act).

But if I worked out of town I'd grab my lighter, my baseball hat and the anti acid tablets and start heading home. I'd carry an empty bottle, a rag and piece of broken glass. Along the way I'd find some charcoal (easy enough out here) for water filtration and use the rag to protect the back of my neck (for starters) and to aid in the water filtration. Food would be the bag of fritos I know I've always had somewhere around the office. The high fat content in one of those little bags will keep you going for about a day. After that it's anti acid tablets to keep the hunger down and whatever bugs and grubs I can dig up. Maybe some cactus goop. No fires. That's a "come rob me" signal for miles around. Up with the sun and hunkered down by 3:30 using the rag and glass to dig out a hole that will be covered with brush. Parallel to the main routes of travel but not near them.

I don't know what people would do if they were stuck in an office park, surrounded by suburbia and over 20 miles from home. Wow! Talk about running the gauntlet.

Offline LC EFA

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2010, 10:54:29 PM »
I work from home  :-)

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2010, 11:02:38 PM »
I work from home  :-)

not currently employed.

Next thread: Your about to become a bum.... what goes in your shopping cart?

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2010, 11:08:34 PM »
Stanky old sleeping bag, some random cardboard pieces. One crutch. 1 gallon jug of Thunderbird. A machete. My "paperwork" from the state. Old pair of Chuck Taylor's. A wig. Mein Kampf. fritos.


Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2010, 11:13:01 PM »
Stanky old sleeping bag, some random cardboard pieces. One crutch. 1 gallon jug of Thunderbird. A machete. My "paperwork" from the state. Old pair of Chuck Taylor's. A wig. Mein Kampf. fritos.

 :rotf:

Fritos, but of course.

Offline LC EFA

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2010, 11:13:29 PM »
Stanky old sleeping bag, some random cardboard pieces. One crutch. 1 gallon jug of Thunderbird. A machete. My "paperwork" from the state. Old pair of Chuck Taylor's. A wig. Mein Kampf. fritos.



There are better sources of kindling ...

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2010, 11:18:49 PM »
I couldn't burn a classic. I could however, burn Mein Kampf. Besides, I'd probably just hollow it out and keep my "meds" in there.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2010, 11:44:45 PM by Aaron Burr »

Offline DefiantSix

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2010, 01:00:23 AM »
I'm fortunate in that when I finally found gainful employment again late last year, it was at a location only about 8-10 miles from home (closer to the 8 figure).  Also, the company owners are all former marines, and so have no problem with my keeping the XD.45 in my briefcase at all times.  If the balloon ever went up, I could hoof it home in about 3 hours, rendezvous with the wife and son (who should have had our bug-out boxes loaded onto the truck by then) and we can bug out to an undisclosed location.
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Offline bijou

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2010, 03:01:13 AM »
I live about 40-45 minutes walk from my office and often walk home, I do have a mini first aid kit there so I might take that in case I came across anyone who needed some assistance  but otherwise this is the only scenario in which I have an easyish time. (I would stop at an ATM on my way as cash is always useful and maybe pick up a few provisions too to add to my store).



Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2010, 04:02:36 AM »
Well, I officially retired Monday so I'll most likely be at home should the sh*t hit the fan.....

If it were real bad I'd dig a hole on top of a hill on the farm and bury an old school bus or a tractor trailer in it. Then a connecting piece of culvert to a foxhole for defensive purposes....now I'm set.
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Offline LC EFA

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2010, 04:15:16 AM »
Well, I officially retired Monday so I'll most likely be at home should the sh*t hit the fan.....

If it were real bad I'd dig a hole on top of a hill on the farm and bury an old school bus or a tractor trailer in it. Then a connecting piece of culvert to a foxhole for defensive purposes....now I'm set.

Shipping containers.

Cheap. Convenient and easily transported.

Fairly unremarkable to have them around on an agricultural property.

Dig it in, back-fill with concrete, cover with dirt.

Offline catsmtrods

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2010, 04:39:04 AM »
I work out of a van and never know where I might be but most likley in some rich libs house who may or may not be home. Since I carry a gun and knife at all  times I would be ready to tackle most any situation that might arise.
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2010, 07:56:16 AM »
LC~  you can get those containers around here for about 2K, delivered.  I have a buddy who bought a few. 

If SHTF, upon reflection, at work, I would most definitly go to my boyfriend's parent's house, which is only 4 miles away.  They are disabled, so I know my eagle scout would get there at some point.  They have enough munitions, survival gear, and food to outlast everyone.  (Mom went a little nuts at Y2K.) 

R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

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Offline vesta111

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #17 on: January 09, 2010, 09:25:10 AM »
LC~  you can get those containers around here for about 2K, delivered.  I have a buddy who bought a few. 

If SHTF, upon reflection, at work, I would most definitly go to my boyfriend's parent's house, which is only 4 miles away.  They are disabled, so I know my eagle scout would get there at some point.  They have enough munitions, survival gear, and food to outlast everyone.  (Mom went a little nuts at Y2K.) 



I find it interesting that most of us expect to depend on technology in a world where sooner or later there will be none.

Guns will be fine until the Ammo is used up, then what.?

I went checking about the businesses that sell survival gear and found that one place sells of all things a perfect item that I had forgotten all about.

Slingshots, all kinds, wrist rockets to small pocket ones.   There are all kind of bags from the plastic to leather to shoot everything from ball barrings to 2 once cleaned up rocks.    At the speed of a thrown base ball that 2 ounces will kill in a heart beat or disable anyone hit in the organs.  These things like the cross bow and the manual bow and arrow are silent compaired with a gun and have no or little noise or a flash in the dark.

I was eyeing a tool that I use for crafts that will be invaluable, small and light, a box set of different X-ACTO knives and chisels.   Worse comes to worse a walking stick can be made using the kit, I have seen these being hand made at country fairs and some are fantastic, makes a good weapon also.

Walking 20 miles in an emergency is tricky, I believe I would just follow the railroad tracks and try to stay as far from others as possible.

I would empty my purse of everything of any weight, cosmetics, hair brushes, just carry ID, Break the glass in the vending machines at work and fill the purse with high calorie candy bars but no salted items as that will cause thirst. 

Shoes will be a problem unless one gets in the habit of having sneakers to change into from high heels or men's dress shoes . 

Depending on time of the year and the area, one must change plans, one will have to alter plans 4 times a year.  In summer a long way home may be safer and in a blizzard and extreme cold, the shortest way home may be best.

Thinking will be fuzzy, the unexpected shock of having the impossible actually happen will turn the majority into stone stupid sheep.  Human nature that if a family, group of friends find everything has been turned upside down, their first impulse will be to try to protect the others.  People will expect to be saved by others in authority and not panic until they realise the authority's are on the run themselves.

  A bomb in a crowed mall will cause much more harm then one placed on a street corner.   People on the street will run and spread out keep moving.    One in a mall will trap people inclose them prevent them from escape with no idea if there is another bomb under their feet.

Bijou ----Carry that first aid kit for YOURSELF.  The stranger you wish to help may slit your throat to get their hands on that kit for themselves.  It is not just the mentally ill to fear, it is those that are perfectally sane that will be the most dangerous. 

Survival is uppermost in the mind, people will abandon their family, friends and sink into animal behavior without any time to think about what they are doing.

This debate has been going on since the 1950's when people stored water and peanut butter in their cellar as a make do fall out shelter.

So you somehow make it home and find everyone in your family from parents to children didn't make it.    Outside of the nature to survive, what at your age do you have to live for that is worth killing  others off.?       20-30 years old, everything,   40-50 the skills and knowledge and can do is very valuable.    60-75 is the time to work for others not themselves.

This has been fun so far to contemplate living a life in what was SIFI-in books and movies.

Oh how so many of us lie to ourselves about who or what we are and how we would want to behave in a hard time.   Sad, like the old saying, "I would never do that"    Oh yes given the circumstances we will without a second thought.   

I now have lost the poster that started this whole shebang, it has morphed into other topics, no problem with that Survival is at the top of the list for human needs.

Problem is, humanity only grew and expanded by the collaboration of others.   Loan wolves don't last long.  eventually these lone folks have to turn to a society to survive or die alone.

America could never have grown had it not been for like minded people gathering and caring for each other.  Individuality with in the group, some man may have a knack for growing vegetables while 4 of the neighbors wives can make quilts, sew, knit or crochet.

The government gets all shook up over like minded people that gather together. But it is to our benefit to gather, pray or hoist a beer with those that think like you.

Our technology changes day to day but human nature stays the same, Question Authority.









 

 


Offline Thor

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #18 on: January 09, 2010, 09:46:04 AM »
Vesta, you need to remember that many of us gun owners have reloading equipment, extra powder, bullets, etc. It will be a long while until that totally runs out. Sling shots, especially ones like the old Wrist Rocket could come in handy, but bear in mind, the average rock has little aerodynamic efficiency. It may kill a small animal such as a squirrel or a rabbit, but that's about it.
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #19 on: January 09, 2010, 09:47:38 AM »
Quote
Thinking will be fuzzy, the unexpected shock of having the impossible actually happen will turn the majority into stone stupid sheep.  Human nature that if a family, group of friends find everything has been turned upside down, their first impulse will be to try to protect the others.  People will expect to be saved by others in authority and not panic until they realise the authority's are on the run themselves.

Well yeah, that is about the size of it.  My goal is to NOT be a stone stupid sheep. 
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline vesta111

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #20 on: January 09, 2010, 11:20:09 AM »
Vesta, you need to remember that many of us gun owners have reloading equipment, extra powder, bullets, etc. It will be a long while until that totally runs out. Sling shots, especially ones like the old Wrist Rocket could come in handy, but bear in mind, the average rock has little aerodynamic efficiency. It may kill a small animal such as a squirrel or a rabbit, but that's about it.

Reloading equipment needs gun power, and brass cartrages to build. 

One could go to black power but where the heck can one get it.?  How can it be stored safely and kept dry.?

You would be surprised how fast our Ammo will be used up, The Government may have tons of old time missiles with the propellent getting old and dangerous.       Some very old bombs have been found in Europe going back to 1940, this stuff is so unstable it may fall apart or blow at any time.

We find ammunition and weapons brought home from former wars and forgotten in an attic.   What happens to the Ammo that sits for years and may morph into a problem for the fire department in case of fire.?

Chemistry comes in here, how long should Ammo be kept before it becomes dangerous.? 

We know what happens to gas after a year or so, goop.  We know we can filter heating oil Kerosene and run them in a diesel auto.    But I cannot find any source that can give me a time line on the Ammo grandpa left with his hunting guns back 40 years ago.













Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #21 on: January 09, 2010, 11:28:42 AM »
I used to mark my ammo as to when I purchased it. My son is working on a batch right now that is marked 6-9-69 and it's shooting just fine. So 40 year old ammo is good.
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"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline vesta111

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #22 on: January 09, 2010, 11:47:24 AM »
I work out of a van and never know where I might be but most likley in some rich libs house who may or may not be home. Since I carry a gun and knife at all  times I would be ready to tackle most any situation that might arise.

Cats, you are a walking victim, you have all your eggs in one basket.

No way will you see a problem coming,  you will be seeing what you expect to see, put at ease and when TSHTF you will be too confused to a

So you head out for a wealthy home to repair something, you need a gun or knife.??  What kind of situation could arise at a prive home that makes it necessary to carry a gun.?

I think I would be more afraid of you then anything.   So you wander about in a van carring a gun and a knife, darn if I knew that I would keep a shot gun on you as you cleared my plumbing.

You are the problem in this case, you are one SPOOKY Dude.




Offline Thor

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #23 on: January 09, 2010, 01:19:41 PM »
Cats, you are a walking victim, you have all your eggs in one basket.

No way will you see a problem coming,  you will be seeing what you expect to see, put at ease and when TSHTF you will be too confused to a

So you head out for a wealthy home to repair something, you need a gun or knife.??  What kind of situation could arise at a prive home that makes it necessary to carry a gun.?

I think I would be more afraid of you then anything.   So you wander about in a van carring a gun and a knife, darn if I knew that I would keep a shot gun on you as you cleared my plumbing.

You are the problem in this case, you are one SPOOKY Dude.





In my experience, it's NOT the work at someone's house, at least normally, but the trip to and fro. Just remember, when seconds count, the police are minutes away.

I guess that I'm "SPOOKY", too. I carry a gun in my vehicle pursuant to Texas law.  :whatever:
"The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation."- IBID

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Offline LC EFA

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Re: The monkey & the football
« Reply #24 on: January 09, 2010, 04:29:04 PM »
I find it interesting that most of us expect to depend on technology in a world where sooner or later there will be none.
...


I spend a bit of time out and about on remote family or individual run mining camps / fishing camps / etc. I like it out there - disconnected from the grid as such. It may seem strange but I like being in a situation where the normal processes of life are so different.

Thus -  one of my goals in the next couple of years is to locate and purchase a decent parcel of "unimproved" land with the goal of moving out there and establishing a setup that is as close to self sufficient as is possible.

With the advances in available satellite based internet services - I can continue to work from anywhere you can see the birds from.

That is why I'm more focused in "off the grid" living  - people I know do it and their quality of life is actually pretty good. Not being chained to a desk, mortgage and suburban life can be great.

The big bonus is that if society takes a big nosedive into the sewer - Those people will continue to have a pretty good quality of life for the period it takes the rest of us to get our shit in order again.