primitives discuss women who hug without asking first

[AllosaursRus]

My wife almost kicked my ass once because a well-endowed waitress asked me if everything was okay, and stupid me said yes. Based on that encounter I assume that I'd have important parts removed in my sleep if I went around hugging women so I keep my hands to myself. If a woman tries to hug me and I can't avoid it I do the quick back pat and I'm out of there.

"Toots" doesn't seem to mind as long as I don't linger, heh! Especially the women I have worked with. The cashiers didn't call me "Cup Cake" for nuthin' at Home Depot, heh! At first it really fried her, but she came to understand it was nothing more than innocent affection.

[dandi]

Hotties get the "standing straight up hug" to maximize physical contact. Fuglies and grandmotherly types get the "stooped over, mostly arms and shoulders hug". People who I don't particularly like get the "one-armed half-hug". All of them are tweaked according to the situation.

Yes, I have it down to a science. 

[Revolution]

Where would say...Revolution be on that list?

[Boudicca]

My mom was a super hugger, but she was such a nice person no one seemed to mind.  Once she was dropping me off at the airport, and ran right up and hugged two of the San Antonio Spurs players she saw in the waiting lobby area.  They had to top her by 2 feet.  I was in my early 20's and back then it kinda embarassed me when she never seemed to worry about other people's reactions to what she did.  She also talked all the time with her hands.
The shoe is on the other foot; Mom is long gone and still and forevermore deeply mourned, but I do the hand talking and sometimes hug perfect strangers.  Those tend to be people I get into conversations with at the checkout line, or at the vet or doctor; when they've shared some bad news with me.  Nine times out of ten I think I helped make them feel better for a second or two, but what the heck do I know?  I'm no shrink; I do know alot of people don't appreciate physical gestures, but I'm a pushy broad and if there's a chance I WILL make them feel better, I'll take that chance.

Life is too short to not show our love for family and friends no matter how we treat strangers.  Although, seriously, some people out there could use a lesson in returning a greeting, or a smile, even if the giver is a stranger!

And I call everyone hon, or sweetie; if nothing else it's saved my bacon a time or three when I've encountered a casual acquaintance whose name I can't recall.

[franksolich]

Oh now, I've never cared what other people have called me--and yes, they've called me "honey" or "dear" or "sweetie" or "cutie" before, believe it or not, in addition to some less-flattering names.  That's just talk, no harm done.

But before anybody under the age of 80 decides to tackle me as if we're supposed to be making out right then and there, I need to know their name, address, family background, place of employment, and at least ten character references.

Otherwise, they're likely to find they jumped on top of a 176-pound iceburg.

Too bad.

[Wineslob]

My Dad and Granddad too.  Funny, most of the wimpy handshakes come from guys.  Do guys change their handshakes when they shake a girl's hand?

I have to. Most people say I have "stone mitts". My wife can't believe how strong my hands are. Comes from being a mechanic most of my life.

[AllosaursRus]

I have to. Most people say I have "stone mitts". My wife can't believe how strong my hands are. Comes from being a mechanic most of my life.

Yeah mine comes from swingin' a claw hammer for 30 years. I get comments all the time on the size of my forearms. I'm a mere shadow of my former self but still have arms larger than most.

[IassaFTots]

I have to. Most people say I have "stone mitts". My wife can't believe how strong my hands are. Comes from being a mechanic most of my life.

My Dad taught me how to shake my hand, he thought it was important.  I'd say it's firm.  I hate it when I go to shake a guy's hand, and their shake is less firm than mine.  Up until this thread I never considered that they might be modifying it.  How bout dat?

[debk]

My mom was a super hugger, but she was such a nice person no one seemed to mind.  Once she was dropping me off at the airport, and ran right up and hugged two of the San Antonio Spurs players she saw in the waiting lobby area.  They had to top her by 2 feet.  I was in my early 20's and back then it kinda embarassed me when she never seemed to worry about other people's reactions to what she did.  She also talked all the time with her hands.
The shoe is on the other foot; Mom is long gone and still and forevermore deeply mourned, but I do the hand talking and sometimes hug perfect strangers.  Those tend to be people I get into conversations with at the checkout line, or at the vet or doctor; when they've shared some bad news with me.  Nine times out of ten I think I helped make them feel better for a second or two, but what the heck do I know?  I'm no shrink; I do know alot of people don't appreciate physical gestures, but I'm a pushy broad and if there's a chance I WILL make them feel better, I'll take that chance.

Life is too short to not show our love for family and friends no matter how we treat strangers.  Although, seriously, some people out there could use a lesson in returning a greeting, or a smile, even if the giver is a stranger!

And I call everyone hon, or sweetie; if nothing else it's saved my bacon a time or three when I've encountered a casual acquaintance whose name I can't recall.

We could be related Boo!!

I'm a hugger and a hand talker, too.

My family have told me if they tied my hands behind my back, I would be unable to talk. They've threatened to do it too.... 

I'm a quick hugger and not a full body one unless it's with family. But with friends it's a quick front hug more around the shoulders or a side hug with one arm around their back and a quick squeeze, upon greeting or leaving them. Maybe it's a southern thing.

I've been known to do a quickie hug, too, to a stranger who has just told me something sad - like illness, loss of family member, etc.

But I can also be extremely stand-offish if someone invades my space without me feeling comfortable.

When I met Chris and Euph...they got hugs. 

[Wineslob]

My Dad taught me how to shake my hand, he thought it was important.  I'd say it's firm.  I hate it when I go to shake a guy's hand, and their shake is less firm than mine.  Up until this thread I never considered that they might be modifying it.  How bout dat?

Well, I won't make it a "wet noodle" but I will back off a hair. That said, I've had more guys cringe than ladies. Of course I give give a "real" handshake with the guys.

[AllosaursRus]

Well, I won't make it a "wet noodle" but I will back off a hair. That said, I've had more guys cringe than ladies. Of course I give give a "real" handshake with the guys.

Nuttin' worse than shakin' a limp wrist. I automatically figure they're a DemonRat or Gay. Conservatives know that a firm handshake is as good as your word, so it's always firm.

[debk]

Nuttin' worse than shakin' a limp wrist. I automatically figure they're a DemonRat or Gay. Conservatives know that a firm handshake is as good as your word, so it's always firm.

I hate when someone shakes your hand by just doing the little hold thing on the fingers. It's bad enough when a woman does it, but when a man does it, it's weird.

[franksolich]

I hate when someone shakes your hand by just doing the little hold thing on the fingers. It's bad enough when a woman does it, but when a man does it, it's weird.

I'm okay with a woman doing that if she has no idea who I am; it's just common sense.

I can't recall if a man's ever done it, though.

[debk]

I'm okay with a woman doing that if she has no idea who I am; it's just common sense.

I can't recall if a man's ever done it, though.

I was taught to do the firm full handshake thing and to look someone in the eye when speaking with them. Also, when meeting an older woman, to never hold my hand out first, to wait for her to hold hers out. And to hold mine out first to a man.

[franksolich]

I was taught to do the firm full handshake thing and to look someone in the eye when speaking with them. Also, when meeting an older woman, to never hold my hand out first, to wait for her to hold hers out. And to hold mine out first to a man.

Those of course are good rules, but not every woman has the confidence you do, madam, and one doesn't want to frighten.

[debk]

Those of course are good rules, but not every woman has the confidence you do, madam, and one doesn't want to frighten.

Trust me, it's not confidence...it was just the way I was brought up. Not doing it "properly" created negative responses from the parent. After so many years of being proper, it becomes habit.

When my kids were little, I started with the "...look at me when I am speaking to you." They learned early to do the same to others.

[AllosaursRus]

Those of course are good rules, but not every woman has the confidence you do, madam, and one doesn't want to frighten.

You can frighten me anytime Deb.

Trust me, it's not confidence...it was just the way I was brought up. Not doing it "properly" created negative responses from the parent. After so many years of being proper, it becomes habit.

When my kids were little, I started with the "...look at me when I am speaking to you." They learned early to do the same to others.

If I had a dollar for every time a parent told me that.........................

[Boudicca]

Oh now, I've never cared what other people have called me--and yes, they've called me "honey" or "dear" or "sweetie" or "cutie" before, believe it or not, in addition to some less-flattering names.  That's just talk, no harm done.

But before anybody under the age of 80 decides to tackle me as if we're supposed to be making out right then and there, I need to know their name, address, family background, place of employment, and at least ten character references.

Otherwise, they're likely to find they jumped on top of a 176-pound iceburg.

Too bad.

  BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[Boudicca]

We could be related Boo!!

I'm a hugger and a hand talker, too.

My family have told me if they tied my hands behind my back, I would be unable to talk. They've threatened to do it too.... 

I'm a quick hugger and not a full body one unless it's with family. But with friends it's a quick front hug more around the shoulders or a side hug with one arm around their back and a quick squeeze, upon greeting or leaving them. Maybe it's a southern thing.

I've been known to do a quickie hug, too, to a stranger who has just told me something sad - like illness, loss of family member, etc.

But I can also be extremely stand-offish if someone invades my space without me feeling comfortable.

When I met Chris and Euph...they got hugs. 

Bet Chris and Euph didn't get ur chocolate though!
As for the stand offis part, yeah, I get that way also if the person crowding my space is someone I don't like; I tend to make snap decisions about tho se sorts of things and rarely have cause to change my mind upon further acquaintance.  There's relatives in my life like that, so it's not like I limit my stand offishness to strangers.

My family was happy when cell phones became popular since I used to trail the phone cord behind me and make them trip from time to time.

I'm sure we are related, deb, somewhere along the way.

[RobJohnson]

After all this neck surgery stuff and impingement my hands are shot. No more firm handshakes from me for a while.

By the time I get home from work both arms are numb and my hands are tingling due to issues in my neck.

On vacation I could not even open a beer! On the rare occasion I drink, I could not open the damn thing.

[IassaFTots]

I was taught to do the firm full handshake thing and to look someone in the eye when speaking with them. Also, when meeting an older woman, to never hold my hand out first, to wait for her to hold hers out. And to hold mine out first to a man.

That is exactly how I was taught as well. 

[Big Dog]

Textbook example of an unwanted hug:

That one earned you a high 5!

[Big Dog]

Yeah mine comes from swingin' a claw hammer for 30 years. I get comments all the time on the size of my forearms. I'm a mere shadow of my former self but still have arms larger than most.

[Big Dog]

Hugs: I give and get The Hug of Manliness (traditional Biker hug)* with male friends, fellow Bikers, and brother Veterans (there is a lot of overlap between the three groups.) With the wimminz, it's a full-on two-breasted hug, or it's nothin'! Add a little one handed butt-cup and squeeze for my real wimmin friends.

Handshakes: With men, it's The Handshake of Manliness. With a woman it's a gentler version of The Handshake of Manliness, the handshake that will make her ovaries tingle.

And, ladies: this Dog likes to be petted.   




*"Soul Brother" handshake with right hand, left arm hug and single squeeze with hands still clasped.

[GOBUCKS]

I still say that any woman who hugs a stranger wants a pat on the ass.

Unfortunately, most of those huggers are women you don't want to pat.