#02 Top DUmmie of 2011 (Taverner)

[franksolich]

One feels as if he's getting ready to clean the Augean Stables, the dreary task of dealing with the top two primitives of 2011.  It's a formidable task, and one wishes it were already over; there's a lot of excresence to deal with.

Anyway.

Congratulations to Taverner, chosen as #02 Top DUmmie of 2011.

Taverner, who'd also been #14 top primitive in 2010, is about 41 years old and living in "the Bay Area" of California, the son of a policeman from around there.  One doesn't know if he's married, but he does boast of children the rest of us are paying for.

But what he talks about mostly is his use of illicit drugs.

Taverner makes the long-ago-departed maudlin waif, the Mythsaje primitive, look clean and sober in comparison.

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Tue May-17-11 02:06 PM
Original message

Anyone else take offense to the "put the bong down, son" copout?

And yeah, its a cop out. I usually see this kind of snark when the person can't argue with reason anymore, and its so much easier to call your opponent a hippie and high five the other frat boys in the room.

Dreamer Tatum (1000+ posts)        Tue May-17-11 02:08 PM
Response to Original message

2. So...when people tell you to drop the bowl, it's BAD.

But you calling them "frat boys" is...GOOD.

Yet they're the ones who can't argue with reason.

Hm.

Sounds like those frat boys need to be ELIMINATED.

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Tue May-17-11 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. No doubt one of my many fans had something to say here

But I put them on ignore, so I guess I'll never hear their whiney trap

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,59158.0

Taverner  (1000+ posts)          Wed Dec-07-11 03:56 PM
Original message

Thought Experiment: What if ALL drugs were legalized?
      
That is everything from Marijuana to Heroin and everything in between.

You can buy Vicodin, Meth, Heroin, PCP, LSD and what have you OTC, manufactured by pharmaceutical companies. That means Abbot Labs makes meth pills just like they used to, and Bayer makes Heroin, just like they used to.

picture of an old bottle

"But what about the children???" you ask. To get these medicines, just like Sudafed, you need to be 18. Of course determined kids will get them, but determined kids are getting these anyway.

Addicts of these drugs will not suffer health risks from impure versions of their drugs.

Overdoses will be rare, since every user will know their dose, and not have to guess.

And drug violence vanishes. The black market is gone, and the Zetas and what not go out of business. Seriously, why would a user want Black Tar Heroin when they can get the real stuff OTC.

Let me tell you about a new phenomenon going on in Russia. It's a very impure version of Morphine made from Codeine pills called "Krokodil." It is called this because the users who take it end up with crocodile like skin - although that's the least of their problems. You see, Krokodil has Hydrochloric Acid in it, which literally causes user's skin to melt off. If you want some nightmares, Google 'Krokodil' images. If you have a weak stomach, don't. I have a strong stomach and those pics gave ME nightmares.

If Heroin or Morphine was OTC, there would be no Krokodil. There would be no bathtub chemists making meth.

Remember prohibition? During that time there was something called "Bathtub Gin" where the distiller would make homemade whiskey. Only they didn't know what they were doing, and ended up producing wood alcohol, which is a poison. Many died because of this, and those that survived often went blind.

My question is this: What GOOD does drug prohibition do? Really - does it get addicts into treatment? Does it remove them from access to drugs (here's a hint: no - drugs are just as easy to get in prison as they are in any high school.)

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,67474.0

[franksolich]

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Fri Oct-07-11 01:12 PM
Original message
 
Yes, if you think Pot Smokers are any different than you, then you are a Bigot

If you think people who smoke pot are lazy, shiftless, leeches, 'addicts' or any other negative connotation then you ARE a bigot.

You are prejudiced.

And bigotry and prejudice are NOT liberal or progressive values

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,65268.0

Taverner obviously isn't a fan of the Republican party, and in fact is quite the "socialist:"

Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Tue Jun-14-11 08:07 AM
Original message

It's about time we called the GOP for the treasonous scum they are
   
Why is no one accusing them of sabotaging the economy?

Why is no one accusing them of destroying democracy?

Why does our party play patty-cakes when the treasonous scum has come with a gatling gun?

Why is it anytime we do get someone to call it like it is (Kucinich, Weiner, Grayson, Feingold, Wellstone) they either get redistricted out, politically asassinated or 'airplaned'?

And why does our party do nothing to stop these things?

The penalty for treason is death - not saying the GOP should die, but not saying they shouldn't

Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Tue Jun-14-11 08:14 AM
Response to Reply #1

2. How many dead Republicans? Question is not how many I'd like to see...
   
But how many dead should there be...

My opinion is irrelevant

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,60499.0

[franksolich]

And of course he doesn't care much for God either.

Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Tue Jul-26-11 05:21 PM
Original message

Why are you angry that I don't believe in God?
   
This is not for the majority of Christians on DU who couldn't give a rat's ass what I believe in.

This is for the Dogged 2% who, although they will never admit it, think I have committed a great wrong against them in not believing in their god.

For me it's simple: no proof. No proof, no god. Anecdotal stories about people becoming better people after attending religious services does nothing to convince me. And telling me "You gotta serve somebody" does not make it so. I serve nobody - and in fact I do not 'serve,' I work. I do whatever the hell I want. And sometimes, I do what other people want.

I happen to believe that thoughts are not sins: you can sit and think about killing puppies all day and it doesn't make you a bad person. Going out and killing a puppy? Different story. We should be judged on our ACTIONS, not our thoughts.

And I also think respect is EARNED, not GIVEN. You do not automatically get respect by virtue of being you. You get it the old fashioned way: you earn it.

For some of you, I have just committed the heresy of heresies. I have basically rejected your worldview. I have said "I'm glad you're happy, but I won't choose that path. Sorry."

And some of you wish me good day on my path and enjoy the diversity. And some of you seethe with all kinds of anger that I would not take your path.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,62390.0

Whooop-dee-do.

I don't think it matters so much what Taverner thinks of God than it does what God thinks of Taverner.

And to round out his street-credibility with the other primitives, Taverner's anti-military.

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Sat Oct-15-11 02:50 PM
Original message

I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill.

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

DumbAss Tanker
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 15950

Alice's Restaurant.  Not even original nuttiness, nor properly attributed.

franksolich
Scourge of the Primitives
Moderator
*****
Posts: 27531

Was the Taverner primitive having a dream about going to medical school and becoming an abortionist?

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,65584.0

[franksolich]

The Taverner primitive enjoys a certain taste in women:

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Fri Oct-07-11 02:21 PM
Original message

Men are attracted to circles

I don't know how many times I've complimented a woman on her attractiveness, only for her to respond with "Thanks - but I'm fat." Often times these women are not what you would call "overweight" - even though some would be deemed by society as such.

Thing is, most guys I know are attracted to circles. What affectionately are called "Earth Mothers" (although I hate that term.) Most guys would rather be with a woman than a 12-year-old boy, which is what most models in ads look like to me. Hell, most of the models in those ads don't even look like that! Most of that is Photoshop trickery.

Women have curves, and throughout human history those curves were celebrated. Just take a look at Rubens' art for an example. There is nothing on Earth as striking and as exhilarating as the embrace of a woman with curves.

And let's talk cellulite. I am a fan of it. It adds depth to a woman's beauty. It is beautiful in itself - cascading down a woman's hamstrings. It helps connect the circles.

Stretch marks? Like marks in fine leather, also adding depth. Giving a woman's skin what I perceive as beauty marks.

Real women have curves. It's high time we celebrated the circle.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,65255.0

[franksolich]

Once in a while, the Taverner primitive looks for a job:

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Fri Aug-26-11 10:11 AM
Original message
 
Here's what I don't get - I am intereviewing for a Scandinavian company

Their laws require that they offer all of the benefits to their foreign employees that they offer back home. This includes 6-8 weeks of paid vacation a year, top of the line medical benefits (and supplemental benefits to employees in countries with health care,) paid paternity/maternity, and a bunch of other good benefits.

So do American companies do this for their foreign employees? Can I hear a big "noooooooooooooo"!

You know, for all Apple claims to "think different" they sure love their slave labor in China and Vietnam.

Sarah Ibarruri  (1000+ posts)        Fri Aug-26-11 10:12 AM
Response to Original message
 
1. (sigh) Sometimes I wish I lived in a Scandinavian country. Don't make me envious.

Taverner  (1000+ posts)        Fri Aug-26-11 10:13 AM
Response to Reply #1
 
2. Go work for a Scandinavian company if you can!

There are a few here

Although I don't think all Scandinavian countries have this law...Ikea sure doesn't.

Sarah Ibarruri  (1000+ posts)        Fri Aug-26-11 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #2
 
9. I recently read here on DU that Target opened in one Scandinavian country, and Target...must provide its employees over there whatever is required by their govt laws, so employees of Target over there, are living a much better life than Target employees over here.

franksolich
Scourge of the Primitives
Moderator
Posts: 27531

Where in the world is there a country that does not demand that a business provide its employees whatever is "required by law"?

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,63583.0

And perhaps he actually lands a job, but it's doubtful.

[formerlurker]

So Nads = #1.    Now if that isn't a reason for her to get all dolled up then I don't know what else is - she may even put on some heels boys!

Congrats to all the winners!!   

[Ptarmigan]

So Nads = #1.    Now if that isn't a reason for her to get all dolled up then I don't know what else is - she may even put on some heels boys!

Congrats to all the winners!!   

I hope so. I voted for her to be #1.

[franksolich]

So Nads = #1.

Does that mean hope, hope I'm excused from having to write her award tomorrow?

[Tucker]

It's good that he got placed in such a lofty slot as it very well could be his last showing, ever.

Taverner is getting a divorce. He's going to lose his meal ticket. He might be forced to move to Denver and ask Bobo if he can share the Buick. He won't be able to do anything above surviving on Government entitlements.

And for number one... drum roll please.

[franksolich]

And for number one... drum roll please.

Tomorrow, about supper-time.

It's going to be a solid 100% franksolich commentary, none of this "quote" business because we all know her anyway.  Sort of like the Die alte Sau's was last year.

I'm really burned out on the primitives.

[Mr Mannn]

This is a note to Taverner. You sir, won this price because you are scum. Rancid Slime.
You're unemployed because you are a slave to drugs, and you don't even know it.
You're on DU because the drugs have damaged your brain.

You will never make your mark on this earth or accomplish anything of value. If you do not overdose, your destiny is to wander the alleys arguing with yourself.

I feel sorry for your parents who have to watch you degenerate and destroy yourself.

Hold up your prize, I'm sure you will honor it.

[JakeStyle]

  Good work on that one Frank, it must have been tough digging through his crap.  Taverner is just a depressing, waste of skin.  I try to avoid reading anything he posts.

[GOBUCKS]

Was it Taverner who complained that when it comes to heroin, the news media only covers its negative side?

[franksolich]

Was it Taverner who complained that when it comes to heroin, the news media only covers its negative side?

Yes.

[formerlurker]

Tomorrow, about supper-time.

It's going to be a solid 100% franksolich commentary, none of this "quote" business because we all know her anyway.  Sort of like the Die alte Sau's was last year.

I'm really burned out on the primitives.

Looking forward to it!!   

[GOBUCKS]

Does that mean hope, hope I'm excused from having to write her award tomorrow?

No.

By June or July, after she had guided the DUmp through the imaginary showers of strontium 90 raining down from the disaster at "Fiuki", it was clear that the nutcase would need an award writeup.

Had she done nothing else all year, her Fiuki posts would have qualified her for Top Ten, maybe Top Five.

Who can forget parenteral poisoning, the retired sub captain, "For ****'s face, Andrea", or "I want you people to understand one thing"?

But she never took her foot off the "petal". It was a nadin year from start to finish.

The year started with crossing the "Rubbicon" in January (surprisingly, no one threw down the "gallaudet"), and ended with the nutcase "dolled up" at 6 a.m. at an auto show that opens at 10. We've been given dozens of hilarious nadinisms along the way.

And yes, them jaw-dropping Facebook photos were just the icing on the cake.

I suspect this award citation has been a work in progress for months, and will be one of the best ever.

[Duke Nukum]

Tomorrow, about supper-time.

It's going to be a solid 100% franksolich commentary, none of this "quote" business because we all know her anyway.  Sort of like the Die alte Sau's was last year.

I'm really burned out on the primitives.

It is good and healthy to be burned out on the primitives. A sure sign that one is sane and relatively well-adjusted.

After you're done here you should totally immerse yourself in something you entirely enjoy.

[Tess Anderson]

I'm really burned out on the primitives.

Understandably so:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=9826165&mesg_id=9826165

It just doesn't matter.

[BlueStateSaint]

It is good and healthy to be burned out on the primitives. A sure sign that one is sane and relatively well-adjusted.

After you're done here you should totally immerse yourself in something you entirely enjoy.

Heartily seconded, and H5 given.

[franksolich]

It is good and healthy to be burned out on the primitives. A sure sign that one is sane and relatively well-adjusted.

You know, right after I read your comment, I collapsed on the reclining chair, all worn out, dragged out, used up, laid low, wiped out--not all due to the primitives, but part of it at least--and said, "Oh, God, I am s-o-o-o-o-o tired....."

And then suddenly like Saul on the Road to Damascus, it was unveiled to me how to write the award.

I may get it done and have it posted by early afternoon tomorrow, but no promises.

[Airwolf]

Everyone has to remember one thing about our latest award winner. He's the kind of person that thinks the movie "Deliverance" is a romantic comedy

[RWKindaGuy]

You know, right after I read your comment, I collapsed on the reclining chair, all worn out, dragged out, used up, laid low, wiped out--not all due to the primitives, but part of it at least--and said, "Oh, God, I am s-o-o-o-o-o tired....."

And then suddenly like Saul on the Road to Damascus, it was unveiled to me how to write the award.

I may get it done and have it posted by early afternoon tomorrow, but no promises.

I'm on vacation at Myrtle Beach, SC at the moment.  A little golf, some sun, escaping the DUmp.  But yet, I am anxiously awaiting the write up for teh yenta nutcase.  I look forward to it.

[Carl]

Aww,the DUmbshit missed it again.



 

[Revolution]

It's good that he got placed in such a lofty slot as it very well could be his last showing, ever.

Taverner is getting a divorce. He's going to lose his meal ticket. He might be forced to move to Denver and ask Bobo if he can share the Buick. He won't be able to do anything above surviving on Government entitlements.

And for number one... drum roll please.

If the Hobo has "circles," that could be a possibility. If not, I wouldn't count on it.

Excellent work, sir. You gave the Taverner primitive a very nice, very kind, and very much deserved #2 Primitive of 2011 Thread. Well done.

[Skul]

It was rigged.
It was stolen.
Damn you Diebold!