Oh my, what a busy morning it’s been.
First, there was the early-morning surprise appearance of the Profile, hippyhubby Wild Bill’s estranged younger brother, followed by the business partner, coming by to inquire when I’m going to the county fair.
“Now, you’re staying here over Labor Day, right?†I asked him.
He said yes.
“Good,†I said.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Then came my guest from the other corner of the state, southwestern Nebraska, who’s been staying with a friend in town.
“I’ve hardly seen you this visit,†she said; “you’ve been grouchy, and so I spent more time with the kids, than with you.â€
I pointed out she’s up here for a whole month, and there’s plenty of time, although the
femme’s going to be back, and around quite a bit.
“And besides, you’re going to the fair with the rest of us tonight, remember.â€
- - - - - - - - - - -
Then the neighbor, the neighbor’s wife, and their five children showed up. They’re going to be at the fair all day, and this place is convenient for breakfasting before going there.
“Well, the sheriff let all but three of the freaks out last night,†the neighbor announced.
“He said they were scared straight now, and safe to let go.
“One would think Louie the carnival executive would be happy, but he still whined, insisting he needed the other three, to put on a good show and make up for all the money he’s lost here the past three days.â€
“Who’re the three he’s still holding?†I asked.
“The freak pretending to be a cat, the bowling-ball with arms and legs, and ‘the world’s biggest drug addict,’ the one with the eggplant-shaped head.
“The first one, he said is too damned scary to be seen out in public, although he let ‘the world’s ugliest woman,’ she with the face like Hindenberg’s, out.
“The second one, well, the sheriff doesn’t care much for people who interfere with the jobs cops and firemen are trying to do, snooping around and making a nuisance of herself. So that’s a personal thing, although she has so many warrants out for obstructing public servants and being a threat to the public safety he could probably hold her for weeks.
“The third one, he said no way in Hell; eggplant-head has w-a-a-a-a-a-y too many warrants out on him.â€
- - - - - - - - - -
As the neighbor’s wife and my guest from southwestern Nebraska fixed breakfast in the kitchen--mostly eggs, sausages, and hash browns, but mine being broccoli with cheese--the rest of us congregated on the back porch.
I announced to the eager young lad that I had his hippies for him, and that they’ll be an awesome draw.
“Now, you have this all figured out, right, everybody in their place?â€
No, he didn’t, so I figured it out for him. “You’ve got seven people, but one’s an independent contractor, selling popcorn to the spectators.
“You got two roads coming here, to where the hippies’ll be camping. The first one, where one turns off from the highway to alongside the river, and the people’ll just drive by, to look and take pictures. You’ll charge a dollar for that.
“The second road comes to here, after which one drives around the house and parks in the meadow, to sit and watch the hippies, for as long as they want. You’ll charge five dollar for that.
“You’ll need two of your people to man the entrance to the riverside road, and two more in charge of the entry to the driveway here. And then two people to ’police’ the meadow and substitute as needed for any of the four at the admission-gates.
“I suppose the last two could probably also rent out lawn-chairs to those who want to make it a day of looking at the hippies, and sell disposable cameras too, for those who didn’t bring cameras but wish they had.
“Now, what else do we have to plan for?†I asked.
- - - - - - - - - -
The eager young lad replied that everything seemed to be thought of.
“No,†I told him. “There’s some complications that might come up, and one needs be prepared.
“The weather, of course; Saturday might be better than Friday, or Monday better than Sunday.
“So all of you’ll have to camp out in the front yard again, beginning Thursday evening; the hippies say they’ll arrive here sometime Friday morning, and they’re leaving the following Tuesday morning.
“But you don’t know how many nights you’re going to camp here. The show’s only going to last an afternoon before the sheriff comes and kindly requests me to shut it down--but what afternoon of what day? It depends upon the weather. So you need to be prepared to camp out one night, two nights, three nights, or four nights; we just don’t know yet.â€
He replied okay, he understood that.
- - - - - - - - - - -
“Now, there’s a big big big complication, but I’ll handle it myself,†I assured him.
“These old hippies have been here before, and this sort of thing’s happened to them before, hundreds of people driving by to look, stare, gawk, and take pictures, and they didn’t like it.
“They might be on guard for it to happen this time too, and stop it before it gets started.
“So the show has to start when they least suspect it; it has to be a sudden surprise to them.â€
to be continued