Bostonian Drunkard's mother a multi-tasker, and tired of it

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6897603

Oh my.

The carpet-bagging maternal ancestress:

Raven  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 07:47 AM
Original message

This "multi-tasking" crap is...crap!
   
OK, time to expose this lie. I was a single parent. I raised a kid. I ran a City of 90,000, went to law school nights, practiced law in a big firm and had my own law firm. There is no such thing as "multi-tasking". There is such a thing as doing 5 things at once and not doing any of them as well as you would like to. There is such a thing as having to put what should be your first priority in second or third place to take care of the debris you have accumulated in your life. There is nothing pretty, sexy or smart about multi-tasking. For most women, it is a necessity and not one that they would choose if they had a choice.

Now I know things have changed in recent years but the men I have known did not multi-task. They didn't have to. The women in their lives...wives, secretaries...multi-tasked for them so that they could concentrate on their careers...their careers, not their families.

This adoration of multi-tasking is pure sexist bunk. Designed to keep women so scattered, preoccupied and exhausted that they will not achieve their potential.

I am a retired Queen of multi-tasking and I can tell you that whatever I achieved, whether it was raising a decent kid or having a decent career, was pure luck. Ask any young female associate in a law firm today who has or wants a family. She'll describe the double standard.

No primitives have spotted this bonfire yet, but maybe some will.

The problem the carpetbagging maternal ancestress has is that she's a far cut above the average primitives, and when she brings up serious issues, well, it's as if a college professor in physics trying to explain nuclear engineering to kindergarteners.

This bonfire might grow, but I dunno; I suspect the Bostonian Drunkard's mother has better things to do with her life, than hanging around the primitives on Skins's island.

[JohnnyReb]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6897603

Oh my.

The carpet-bagging maternal ancestress:

Raven  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 07:47 AM
Original message

This "multi-tasking" crap is...crap!
   
OK, time to expose this lie. I was a single parent. I raised a kid. I ran a City of 90,000, went to law school nights, practiced law in a big firm and had my own law firm. There is no such thing as "multi-tasking". There is such a thing as doing 5 things at once and not doing any of them as well as you would like to. There is such a thing as having to put what should be your first priority in second or third place to take care of the debris you have accumulated in your life. There is nothing pretty, sexy or smart about multi-tasking. For most women, it is a necessity and not one that they would choose if they had a choice.

Now I know things have changed in recent years but the men I have known did not multi-task. They didn't have to. The women in their lives...wives, secretaries...multi-tasked for them so that they could concentrate on their careers...their careers, not their families.

This adoration of multi-tasking is pure sexist bunk. Designed to keep women so scattered, preoccupied and exhausted that they will not achieve their potential.

I am a retired Queen of multi-tasking and I can tell you that whatever I achieved, whether it was raising a decent kid or having a decent career, was pure luck. Ask any young female associate in a law firm today who has or wants a family. She'll describe the double standard.

No primitives have spotted this bonfire yet, but maybe some will.

The problem the carpetbagging maternal ancestress has is that she's a far cut above the average primitives, and when she brings up serious issues, well, it's as if a college professor in physics trying to explain nuclear engineering to kindergarteners.

This bonfire might grow, but I dunno; I suspect the Bostonian Drunkard's mother has better things to do with her life, than hanging around the primitives on Skins's island.

Now how did I guess she was building up to making excuses for raising that worthless asshole in the basement? The hair on the back of my neck seems to have more intelligence than DUmmies.

[Flame]

She was a single mom.  Palin has her other half to take up any slack.

Why on friggin earth do people not see family.marriage as a partnership, with EACH person able to step up and do whats needed?   ON a parenting board I'm a member of, I'm appalled at how 95% of the men act...like the did the deed, got the sperm where it needed to be, now their work with the kids is done.

From day 1 my husband has had a hand in all aspects of child care...literally, day 1.  Baby still awake, I went to bed anyway, and he had the night shift until baby was ready to eat (the one thing he couldn't do!  )  These others moms are all agog when their husbands put a dish in the dishwasher, or take a kid to an activity. 

Mr Palin is there.  HE can be the main caretaker of the kids.  What's the problem with that??

[franksolich]

Oh my.

It seems to have drawn a modest crowd after all.

noel711  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 07:51 AM
Response to Original message

2. I've lived that way for over 20 years..and I'm exhausted...
   
Hate it.

The meme that 'you can have it all' is a lie.

But we do what we must to do get by.

I work usually 6 to 7 days a week, many days are 12 hours or more.

I love my work.. usually. But I hate to hear the phone ring...

I dream of a quiet life, with just the essentials, of being able to cook dinner every night, visit with friends, take some car trips around the nation, watch movies, read books, paint the house.

I'd love to retire early, but it ain't gonna happen.

Not because I feel impelled to buy luxuries, but because I have to survive.

My dream is to pay off our debt before I die.

The green commode primitive:

WCGreen  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 08:03 AM
Response to Reply #2

5. It's great for those TV folks who just sit around and demand things from everyone around them.

They don't do reporting of any type, they just sit around and yack.

I said in another post that women are natural multi-taskers, it comes with being a mother. Men aren't.

The Backlash Cometh  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 08:02 AM
Response to Original message

4. Raven, you are brilliant.
   
I figured out this revelation quite by necessity after spending years of getting down on myself because I was not able to be a Super Mom, Wife, Wage Earner etc., etc. all at one time. I opted to be the best mom I could be, and be damn with everything else. Unfortunately, it was a solitary battle since everyone else who is still trapped by the Type A expectations don't really give you the time and patience to hear what you have to say.

The watery primitive, the old guy who's always tumescent for Richard Cheney:

H2O Man  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 08:26 AM
Response to Original message

6. Very good.
   
Nominated.

Though I can't speak for all men, I was a single father of two young boys for many years. Their mother had reached a point where she "needed to 'find herself'," which translated into focusing her energy on her career.

My sons were 3 and 5 at the time that our new lifestyle began. I was employed at a county mental health clinic. Although I had, previous to the first son's birth, worked two full-time jobs, I found that I had to decide where to focus. For me, the choice was easy: nothing would keep me from being the best father to those little fellows that I possibly could.

Even with the support of family and friends, I found that being a single parent took all the strength that I had. In the next few years, I only dated one person semi-seriously. But my primary focus was my sons. Eventually, I met the women who became my best friend and wife, and who was willing to commit to the often difficult job of being a step-parent.

Being a good parent is a responsibility that requires a good deal of sacrifice. I'm not in a position where I feel any need to judge Sarah Palin's parenting skills. What I am concerned about, however, is her attempting to force her agenda, which is a reflection of her religious values, on the rest of society. There are a lot of parents who are perfectly capable of raising their own children without the Palin family values. And there are many parents, single and otherwise, who do not need the ball & chain of those Palin family values to make their job more difficult.

knitter4democracy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 08:50 AM
Response to Original message

7. I entirely agree.
   
I am that wife who multitasks so her husband can focus on his career, and I know how much work I have to do behind the scenes so that he can work his long and longer hours without worry. Granted, he doesn't always respect that, so we're having issues about it, but that doesn't diminish the amount of work I do.

There's no way Palin can run a state, keep tabs on her kids, and run for VP. No way. It would be a bit different if all of her kids were older and healthy, but they're not. She's got a daughter who really needs her right now, a husband who doesn't like not helping run things, huge state issues, and she's going to be far from home for most of it.

She has a special needs baby who will need her there when he has surgeries and need her when he gets sick and need her when he gets scared. He's only this age once, and she isn't going to be there at all. As for her husband covering for her (doing my job, basically), he's not going to be able to, either. He'll have his own campaigning and speechifying and interviews to do. Sure, they'll hire a nanny, paid for with GOP money, I'm sure, but will the nanny be the only one there for his surgeries or hospitalizations?

I'm all for working moms--we all work, just not all of us get paid. Moms who work outside of the home have massive decisions to make all the time, and they're damned if they do and damned if they don't. It's a terrible position to put people in. It's not like Palin's a normal working mom, though--how many working moms have two full-time jobs that require them to fly all over the entire US and be gone from home for weeks at a time? How many working moms have to be picture-perfect all day the next day and have their every word dissected, even if they were up all night with the baby? How many moms are training to know all about running the country and dealing with the press and talking with foreign leaders?

Palin can't do it all, and her family already shows that. She made the wrong decision here, and we need to make sure she doesn't get near the White House.

[JohnnyReb]

"Men aren't multitaskers"----BS

Multitasking woman to man, "The baby's sick, my car isn't running right, the garbage to needs to be taken out, the dog is off his chain again, the grass needs to be cut, you need to clean the gutters, "YOUR SON"  kicked the screen outta the backdoor, my washing machine broke and you just don't make enough money. This multitasking is killing me."

Man to multitasking woman, "Yes dear."

[Lauri]

She was a single mom.  Palin has her other half to take up any slack.

Why on friggin earth do people not see family.marriage as a partnership, with EACH person able to step up and do whats needed?   ON a parenting board I'm a member of, I'm appalled at how 95% of the men act...like the did the deed, got the sperm where it needed to be, now their work with the kids is done.

From day 1 my husband has had a hand in all aspects of child care...literally, day 1.  Baby still awake, I went to bed anyway, and he had the night shift until baby was ready to eat (the one thing he couldn't do!  )  These others moms are all agog when their husbands put a dish in the dishwasher, or take a kid to an activity. 

Mr Palin is there.  HE can be the main caretaker of the kids.  What's the problem with that??

maybe its a generational thing. my in laws were just here for a week and they still marvel that their son does laundry and cleans up the kitchen, heck, he even cooks quite a bit cause he likes it. my FIL just gawks at his son... like he cant believe he does it all.

weird..

[Flame]

She was a single mom.  Palin has her other half to take up any slack.

Why on friggin earth do people not see family.marriage as a partnership, with EACH person able to step up and do whats needed?   ON a parenting board I'm a member of, I'm appalled at how 95% of the men act...like the did the deed, got the sperm where it needed to be, now their work with the kids is done.

From day 1 my husband has had a hand in all aspects of child care...literally, day 1.  Baby still awake, I went to bed anyway, and he had the night shift until baby was ready to eat (the one thing he couldn't do!  )  These others moms are all agog when their husbands put a dish in the dishwasher, or take a kid to an activity. 

Mr Palin is there.  HE can be the main caretaker of the kids.  What's the problem with that??

maybe its a generational thing. my in laws were just here for a week and they still marvel that their son does laundry and cleans up the kitchen, heck, he even cooks quite a bit cause he likes it. my FIL just gawks at his son... like he cant believe he does it all.

weird..

but these people are my age or younger!  It totally blows my mind!

[JohnnyReb]

She was a single mom.  Palin has her other half to take up any slack.

Why on friggin earth do people not see family.marriage as a partnership, with EACH person able to step up and do whats needed?   ON a parenting board I'm a member of, I'm appalled at how 95% of the men act...like the did the deed, got the sperm where it needed to be, now their work with the kids is done.

From day 1 my husband has had a hand in all aspects of child care...literally, day 1.  Baby still awake, I went to bed anyway, and he had the night shift until baby was ready to eat (the one thing he couldn't do!  )  These others moms are all agog when their husbands put a dish in the dishwasher, or take a kid to an activity. 

Mr Palin is there.  HE can be the main caretaker of the kids.  What's the problem with that??

maybe its a generational thing. my in laws were just here for a week and they still marvel that their son does laundry and cleans up the kitchen, heck, he even cooks quite a bit cause he likes it. my FIL just gawks at his son... like he cant believe he does it all.

weird..

How old are they?

After me and the X split, I was doing all that for myself. My mother started setting a place for me at the dinner and supper table, afraid I wasn't eating right, told me what time to be there. She also told me to bring my clothes over so she could wash them. As old and as unable to care for herself as she was, she just wouldn't take, "Momma, I can take care of myself." for an answer. Her exact words were, " There ain't no man that can take care of himself as well as a woman can." Now, she had a point and she may have even been right but I was taking a whole lot better care of her only son than his x-wife was.......

[GOBUCKS]

When you read DUmmy Raven's posts, some things become more understandable, like the root cause of her useless alcoholic offspring's addiction, or his comical "look at me" self-adulation. In some ways, DU's Midnight Cowboy is a pitiful figure.......(After further review, scratch that last sentence.)

[Chris]

noel711  (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-03-08 07:51 AM
Response to Original message

2. I've lived that way for over 20 years..and I'm exhausted...
   
Hate it.

The meme that 'you can have it all' is a lie.

You only have yourselves to blame.  It wasn't conservatives that started that lie.

[lastparker]

Now how did I guess she was building up to making excuses for raising that worthless asshole in the basement? The hair on the back of my neck seems to have more intelligence than DUmmies.

Bwahahahahaah!!!!!!

[BamaMoose]

Am I the only one who thinks "the debris you have accumulated in your life" is how she refers to the Bostonian Drunkard when he's not around?

[USA4ME]

So suddenly the liberal mold of what a woman should be able to do and has every right to do has to be scaled back because the woman under consideration is a conservative.

That is until next week and a liberal woman has similar circumstances and wants to seek office, then she's perfectly capable.

And these libs are so stupid they don't believe their hypocracy is noticable.

.