The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => The DUmping Ground => Topic started by: franksolich on December 20, 2013, 12:04:45 PM
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Best to clear the left-overs, the fragments, the drek, out of the way before proceeding onto the big awards--this is always the least-exciting award to write--and so here they are, the bottom half of the top twenty DUmmies of 2013:
20-Omaha Steve--the big guy in Bellevue, 0bama Steve, and oh my how the great have fallen; once a perennial top finisher, this time he had a close shave in avoiding elimination altogether. The big guy made a second run for the Bellevue city council this year, getting considerably fewer votes than he had in 2012. Perhaps the next time he runs for something, he should pay attention to the advice and counsel of his fellow Nebraskan, giving him at least a second-place finish, and getting him back among the Top DUmmies.
20-WilliamPitt--the Bostonian Drunkard, no comment needed.
20-California Peggy--the CalPig primitive, the poetess laureatette of Skins’s island, no comment necessary.
19-ProSense--the perennial--and possibly paid--apologist for that man in the White House; for years she enjoyed the undying adulation and agreement among her fellow primitives, but this year her popularity began to fray, and continues to fray. It couldn’t happen to a more-appropriate primitive. As the 0bama presidency continues to unravel, one expects she’ll catapault into the top ten next year.
18-NYC_SKP--Skippy, the male counterpart of the CalPig primitive, who’s always up to saying an encouraging word, but never up to doing an encouraging deed; he’s no sartorial genius either, with a wardrobe making him look ridiculous--something out of Hawaii in the 1970s--rather than professional. And like the CalPig primitive, he gets around a lot, visiting fellow primitives in exotic locations; but being a governmental employee with an expense account that would please a maharajah, he does it on the taxpayers’ dime, not his own.
17-MrScorpio--O’Dorkio or McDorkio, the resident expert on “blackness†on Skins’s island, who always gets things wrong. His “black†hero, for example, has more in common with lily-white franksolich than with brown-black O’Dorkio. Once the ladies’ man of the Lounge, he’s retracted his balls considerably the past few years; one wonders what’s up with that. Maybe it’s age; he’s not as young and spirited as he used to be. Perhaps McDorkio could recover some of his lost vitality by doing something useful, like becoming Republican precinct captain for his neighborhood
16-graham4anything--the graham cracker primitive, who had a record 127 other primitives ignoring him by the time he was mausoleumed in July 2013, probably at the instigation of the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive. He was burdened with a perhaps-undeserved reputation for the singularity of his opinions, as really, he was a pretty conventional primitive, as primitives go, his notoriety based upon the reaction of other primitives to whatever he said, not upon what he said.
15-malaise--the malarial primitive, the sullen, scowling, sneering primitive from Jamaica, the yeller gal, a pal of cousin nadin’s; she didn’t do anything of exceptional interest this year other than substantially contribute to the gaseous poisonous miasma that overhangs Skins’s island. When one thinks of a thick malevolent fog, one inevitably thinks of malaise.
14-kentuck--the bluegrass primitive, who actually lives in Colorado, in or around Colorado Springs, for whom the fresh mountain air has done no good, as he continued to spout off ideas and opinions that would astound even Lewis Carroll or Arthur Koestler. Perhaps the bluegrass primitive would be better off in a lower elevation, back home in old Kentucky.
13-darkangel218--the dorkangel primitive, the champion swan-song singer on Skins’s island, who’s had probably more farewell performances than a whole flock of singing anitidae. Allegedly a student in nursing, she’s finishing it up faster than the speed of light, in the same fashion as those three-day trips to Europe she’s allegedly taken.
12-grasswire--addled Judy, the pie-and-jam primitive, who provided much laughter trying to sound credible and authoritative on so many different issues; she’s traced her ancestry clear back to Abraham and Sarah, or perhaps even to Adam and Eve, and is the “expert†on Skins’s island, on television talking faces and punidiots; in her spare time, she pursues the mystery of what ever happened to the late red round one. Her guardians--her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and adult great-great-grandchildren--have tried keeping her off the internet, as she makes herself look silly, but the old lady dodges them every time.
11-denninmi--Dennis the Menace, Den-Den, who caused a sensation blabbing w-a-a-a-a-a-y too much about his mental problems, demonstrating why the mentally-ill should not be allowed to post on message-boards, given their lack of discretion. Dennis the Menace is currently inactive on Skins‘s island, which is a good thing; perhaps it means he’s seeking help in a useful place, and if that’s the case, one wishes him well. But one wonders if he’s understood yet that one can either be a primitive, or be sane. Not both at the same time; just one thing or the other thing, a primitive or sane. Just one thing or the other thing.
Okay, onto the real awards…..
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Wow, Crazy Dennis didn't even make it into the top ten.
This year's awards should be interesting.
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Wow, Crazy Dennis didn't even make it into the top ten.
This year's awards should be interesting.
They are.
Very interesting.
To put it mildly.
As long as one expects the unexpected, it's okay though.
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LOL @ Skippy coming in at #18, beating out both WeeWillie and the infamous CalPig.
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LOL @ Skippy coming in at #18, beating out both WeeWillie and the infamous CalPig.
But unfortunately, that compelled me to tip my hand, in showing the winner of the CCA, who's announced just before the big one, the Top DUmmie of 2013, on New Year's Eve.
I tried arranging the schedule of releases so that wouldn't happen, but nothing worked.
Everybody knows who the winner of the CCA is.
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Looks to be a very close one. There are three #20 ranked for DOTY.
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But unfortunately, that compelled me to tip my hand, in showing the winner of the CCA, who's announced just before the big one, the Top DUmmie of 2013, on New Year's Eve.
I tried arranging the schedule of releases so that wouldn't happen, but nothing worked.
Everybody knows who the winner of the CCA is.
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v0KRl9sdGhU/UTPdck4jikI/AAAAAAAAHCs/EhGMdvMm5Go/s1600/239+-+baby+big-eyes+suspicion.jpg)
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Looks to be a very close one. There are three #20 ranked for DOTY.
Actually, no, compared with last year, there weren't many close ones, probably due that more voters showed up this time than that time.
The only close call in the top ten, for example, was that at the last minute, eventual Top DUmmie #02 overtook eventual Top DUmmie #03. That was close.
And there's two runaway winners who might as well've been given their awards even before the contests started.
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Wow, Crazy Dennis didn't even make it into the top ten.
This year's awards should be interesting.
+1 to that. I was surprised to see him at #11.
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I had OS in my Top 5. I'm incredibly disappointed. :( :censored:
Therefore, it's mainly because of me that the old shit-wrangler is even listed here today. :whistling:
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I had OS in my Top 5. I'm incredibly disappointed. :( :censored:
Therefore, it's mainly because of me that the old shit-wrangler is even listed here today. :whistling:
You're right; the big guy was a mere half a vote away from being shoved into obscurity by a lumpenunterprimitiven.
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You're right; the big guy was a mere half a vote away from being shoved into obscurity by a lumpenunterprimitiven.
Steve had potential earlier this year, because of the election for the vacant seat on the city council.
But just like his life, he threw that opportunity away.
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Steve had potential earlier this year, because of the election for the vacant seat on the city council.
But just like his life, he threw that opportunity away.
Opportunity went in the trash bin right along with his razor.
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O. M. F. G.
This list has some interesting implications. That is all. I await the results under the assumption that Ralph.s thumbs steered clear of the scale.
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You're right; the big guy was a mere half a vote away from being shoved into obscurity by a lumpenunterprimitiven.
I also had WillPitt in my Top 5. :o
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O. M. F. G.
This list has some interesting implications. That is all. I await the results under the assumption that Ralph's thumbs steered clear of the scale.
Oh, I'm sure Mr. Wiggum counted all votes honestly.
He's so straight he makes Abraham Lincoln look dishonest.
But yeah, there's some interesting implications; you'll probably start seeing them Christmas. But until then, all's pretty predictable.
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Oh, I'm sure Mr. Wiggum counted all votes honestly.
He's so straight he makes Abraham Lincoln look dishonest.
But yeah, there's some interesting implications; you'll probably start seeing them Christmas. But until then, all's pretty predictable.
Anyway, I'm sure this has been covered elsewhere, but why no Golden Bong award for the best bouncy?
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Anyway, I'm sure this has been covered elsewhere, but why no Golden Bong award for the best bouncy?
I would guess because there haven't been any good bouncies in years.
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Anyway, I'm sure this has been covered elsewhere, but why no Golden Bong award for the best bouncy?
The one year we tried it, there were so many of them the voting was significantly fragmented, the eventual winner having won with circa 5% of the total votes.
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Several there who could be consistently whacko but, save for the Pittster, could never rise to the top. All you can say is they're hanging on by having name recognition only.
MrScorpio a/k/a O’Dorkio, McDorkio, the resident expert on “blackness†on Skins’s island, the boy primitive, could have helped himself by having more Curious George posts about his racist biking adventures in inner-city Detroit. But alas, he had one and faded away.
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I had Omaha Ed Norton, Grahamcracker and Skippy in my top 10. Given that my Nos one and two are the same as every person that voted, my choices suck.
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This kind of shakes my previously held beliefs of the awards. I look forward to further surprises.
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I had Omaha Ed Norton, Grahamcracker and Skippy in my top 10. Given that my Nos one and two are the same as every person that voted, my choices suck.
My choices didn't do so hot either.
I'm really disappointed in one particular primitive's showing, but that'll be remedied.
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Ugh, a little disappointed in this - I was hoping Skip and Judy would place MUCH higher. Trying to figure out what the top ten must be . . . nads, Amber, Doug, PW, TMN are probably half of them, and place pretty high.
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<Tears up betting slip>
There goes my trifecta.
:-)
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Two out of my top ten have made it! Nosence and Darkangelnumbers.
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<Tears up betting slip>
There goes my trifecta.
:-)
I'll meet ya in the soup line.
You're buying.
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Ugh, a little disappointed in this - I was hoping Skip and Judy would place MUCH higher. Trying to figure out what the top ten must be . . . nads, Amber, Doug, PW, TMN are probably half of them, and place pretty high.
My guess is that nads, Doug, PhDD, rsmith, LocoNuts, and Amber are going to round out most of the top ten.
I didn't vote for Judy, but I am surprised she didn't place higher as well.
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An incredible injustice to poor addled grasswipe Judy Smith, and crazy Dennis the Menace!!
Both have provide far more quality entertainment than most of nuts ranked above them.
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An incredible injustice to poor addled grasswipe Judy Smith, and crazy Dennis the Menace!!
Both have provide far more quality entertainment than most of nuts ranked above them.
I'm most disappointed in Dennis' place at #11. I think he suffered the curse of peaking too early for some.
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Graham4Anything and his obsession with dynasty politics caught up to him. :lmao:
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Thanks for the participating 11-20th place dummies. We have a consolation prize for you. What could it be, what could be it be?
Why it is absolutely nothing you LOSERS!!!! Yes that is what you are... losers. You are losers in real life and losers in this contest. Here, as in real life, when you lose you get nothing!!! Nada!!! Zip!!!! Zilch!!!!
Now get off my stage before I call security. You stink and your babbling stupidity is sucking the brain power right from my head.
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An incredible injustice to poor addled grasswipe Judy Smith, and crazy Dennis the Menace!!
Both have provide far more quality entertainment than most of nuts ranked above them.
Her quality couldn't overcome her quantity. She needs to apply herself next year. Inundate the island with senseless posts. Somethings gotta stick.
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Any moles in this list? Congratulations! Now pick up yer game, pronto... :cheersmate: