Come on now, Frank...
Top 5?
This was before your time, sir, but I consider my most-creative re-baptizing as being "Fat Che."
Fat Che of course is the long-ago mausoleumed Ben Burch; he's an "administrator" on the Rancid Rhodes website now, having ticked off my fellow alum by trying to have one too many fund-raisers for his depraved White Tulip (or whatever flower it is) Society.
Fat Che, from Elgin, Illinois, is about 400 pounds, near-sighted, asthmatic, and 55 years old, give or take a couple of years.
His belly sags down in front of him as if an apron.
Fat Che has a thing about "fisting"--although it's heterosexual in abuse, not homosexual as many seem to think. He gets his jollies out of jamming his big fat arm up the personal part of women.
We know this because Fat Che has advertised on web-sites before, asking for women who like this sort of thing.
Anyway, Fat Che as Ben Burch on Skins's island was always advocating revolution, assassination, and general mayhem.
One day when Fat Che was ranting on, a "picture" (remember, for me, words are "pictures") suddenly sprang out--that of a really fat ageing near-sighted asthmatic, wearing a bandanna, one arm with a machine gun uplifted into the air, storming the ramparts, his sagging belly flopping in front of him.
edited to add a missing quotation mark; sorry for the inconvenience