A day late but let's do Christmas Eve at the DUmp.

[Tucker]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9583921

Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 10:08 PM
Original message
Alone and lonely tonight?
   
'm 41. I'm single. I have no children. I'm an only child and my parents (still alive, thank the gods) live hundreds of miles away.

I really don't want to believe Christmas Eve is different than any other night, but when I was a child, it was so magical that it really hurts to feel alone now. No one calls. No one invites me out. Most of my single friends are out of town.

CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
1. My dear Withywindle...
   
Ah, sweetie...

I hear you.

It can be very lonely this time of year...

Perhaps it's time for you to be proactive, not to wait for them to come to you...

Or maybe find someplace to be, where you can help others...

I know when I feel down that nothing feels as good as making someone else feel better too...

You'll make me feel better when you....

tinkerbell41 Donating Member (478 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yes
   
My Mom passed 3 yrs ago, and although my family was really tight knit, never spent a Christmas Eve apart, my Dad remarried and things haven't been the same since. My ONLY CHILD is spending this evening with her boyfriends family. I'm just not feeling it this year.
I'm 44, and spent the last 20 yrs raising my daughter so I really had no social life, I have been trying to find new things to do since she went away to school.
I'm sorry you are alone, but I know how you feel.

Lisa0825 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
16. Sort of... I try to talk myself out of it... but I remember it was nicer
   
back when I wasn't alone.

I am divorced, 42, my parents are deceased, my sister who I love is a thousand miles away... my brother is nearby but he doesn't invite me to his family holidays. I have some good friends and usually get together with someone for either Christmas Eve or Day, but it just isn't the same kind of feeling as when I was with family.

But I figure I have to get used to it... it has been this way for about 10 years, and I imagine this is how it will continue to be. So I don't think of holidays as holidays anymore, because it is easier to dismiss them then to let them make me feel like I am missing out.

Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #16
23. You don't have to talk yourself out of it.
   
It hurts to be alone tonight. It's OK to feel the pain, and cry. (That's what I'm doing).

But really, it's just 48 hours. Some of the worst 48 hours for lonely people. Suicide rates are so ****ing high. Just survive. Please do. That's what I'm concentrating on doing. If you make it through, that's a victory.

Remember to cut length wise.

Lady President Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
20. Hugs!
   
My situation is very similar... I'll be 40 in a few weeks, single, no kids, only child, and only grandchild. I'm very lucky that my mom is still living and lives a few miles away.

I made a promise to my mom and myself that if the time comes when I'm alone for Christmas that I'll go on a trip. There are always single vacations available. I plan to save my money and skip town.

I know you don't me at all, but if you ever find yourself in Ohio during the holiday season, you would be welcome to spend Christmas with me and my mom.

thirtiesgirl Donating Member (97 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 11:08 PM
Response to Original message
25. wow...
   
I could have written this post myself. I'm also 41 (eep! yes, the horrid truth is revealed ), single, with no children (happily child free, as I usually say). I'm not with family tonight, although I'll go visit them tomorrow. My mom lives 2 hours away, but in my case, my relationship with family is rather strained and I choose to keep my distance from them and spend a minimal amount of time with them. I'll visit for xmas because it makes my mom happy, but I don't spend more time in her house than necessary.

When I was a kid, things were different and xmas was a magical time. I loved xmas eve and looked forward to it all year. I've become jaded over the years, though, and now no longer think of the holiday season as a magical time. It's just another day for me. Being single is no damn fun any time of year, but I know what you mean about feeling lonely during the holidays. I've been single off and on for the past 12 years, and in general, have enjoyed my single-hood. I ended a 2-year relationship this past February, though, and I did kind of see that guy as my last chance to make a relationship work. I haven't wanted to get back into the dating scene since we ended the relationship, and I've kind of given up hope of finding anyone else.

So I understand where you're coming from. Do something nice for yourself, watch a movie you enjoy, drink some good wine, enjoy the crisp night air, drive around the neighborhood and look at the holiday lights, pamper yourself in the tub, talk to family on the phone... whatever works for you. See yourself through the evening in style and have a relaxing day tomorrow.

BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
27. The Holiday Season is not filled with joy and laughter for everyone....   Updated at 2:37 PM
   
You are not alone.

The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 11:29 PM
Response to Original message
29. Alone, not lonely.
   
I've spent my Christmases alone for years. It used to bother me, but it doesn't any more -- I just hunker down, listen to some good music, and play with the cats. It's just another day to me now.

You just keep telling yourself that.

FarLeftRage Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
33. Yes...
   
I'm 52, single and the middle child. Mom passed away earlier this year and I'm staying with my 87 year old father... so not really alone, but very lonely. This holiday season is different from the previous ones, because I don't feel in a festive mood at all.

Like you, no one calls. I get no invites out and I have no more single friends... It does indeed hurt.

Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Sat Dec-25-10 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #33
42. Yeah, this season is so ****ing hard.
   
All we see are commercials featuring 30-something parents and their kids. That's nice for those people in that stage of life...but it's frankly not the norm, is it?

I feel that the fact that I've been single for almost 5 years is...difficult...for a lot of my friends, who are all paired off. If they invite me to dinner, well, that's gonna be an odd number of people, right? Of course that's awkward. The table seatings are all on the Noah's Ark principle, a single woman just makes things difficult. And someone's going to have to help me get home, because of course a single woman can't take the bus home alone at 3 AM.....oh, it gets so complicated.

Easier for them to just not invite me than deal with that kind of awkwardness.

Try bathing on other days that don't start with Sat.

Bennyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Dec-24-10 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
35. Horrible
   
Kids are scattered. My daughter is hanging with her new family and so that means no grandkids. Mom is in South Carolina with a shattered femur. Had to tell her this week that I will not take care of her anymore if or when she comes home. Just the worst.

Lucian (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Sat Dec-25-10 01:17 AM
Response to Original message
51. I'm with my family but I'm alone.
   
I'm the only one out of us who doesn't have a kid, so Christmas just passes me by. I have no gifts to open, but everyone else does. I'm forgotten in my family.

Thank the gods I bought a flask yesterday. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to survive Christmas.

All in all they're a depressing bunch.

[true_blood]

Lucian (1000+ posts)   Sat Dec-25-10 01:17 AM
Response to Original message
51. I'm with my family but I'm alone.    (Technically, you may be "alone", but you are not really, if you have family around you.)
I'm the only one out of us who doesn't have a kid, so Christmas just passes me by. I have no gifts to open, but everyone else does. I'm forgotten in my family.    (But,....didn't you just say in your sentence above that you were with family?! I'm confused with this DUmmie speak.)
Thank the gods I bought a flask yesterday. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to survive Christmas.    (That and the bong hits, huh?)

[shadeaux]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x67365

Feel the love.   

[GOBUCKS]

A great Christmas holiday at the DUmp!!

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly,"

No one calls. No one invites me out.

My ONLY CHILD is spending this evening with her boyfriends family.

my brother is nearby but he doesn't invite me to his family holidays.

"Fa la la la la, la la la la,"

It's OK to feel the pain, and cry. (That's what I'm doing).

my relationship with family is rather strained

I choose to keep my distance from them and spend a minimal amount of time with them.

"'Tis the season to be jolly,"

It used to bother me, but it doesn't any more -- I just hunker down

Like you, no one calls. I get no invites out and I have no more single friends

"Fa la la la la, la la la la,"

Easier for them to just not invite me

I'm forgotten in my family.

And the only part of the tune that applies at the DUmp: "Don we now our gay apparel"

What a bunch of happy people they are! I guess it has something to do with reaping what you sow.

[JohnnyReb]

So, how is that bitchy feminism, pro abortion, antimarriage, antichristian, antichildren, global warming, progreen, liberalism shit working out for you?....No man to dominate you, no kids to hinder you, plenty of kinky sex....in the past...are you happy now?

[Randy]

Lonely? No where to go?
Gather up everything in your house that needs washing, haul it to the laundromat and wash it. Absolutely no one will bother you, you'll accomplish something that needed doing. As a bonus you'll feel good about getting those drapes done, that comforter washed and those throw rugs cleaned you've been meaning to do.
If you reaaaaallllly need to, sneak out behind the place and take a couple of tokes if you're away from your bong to long. Just get out and do something, anything.

[Tucker]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x67365

Feel the love.   

We're mocking the mockers.

[Tucker]

Lonely? No where to go?
Gather up everything in your house that needs washing, haul it to the laundromat and wash it. Absolutely no one will bother you, you'll accomplish something that needed doing. As a bonus you'll feel good about getting those drapes done, that comforter washed and those throw rugs cleaned you've been meaning to do.
If you reaaaaallllly need to, sneak out behind the place and take a couple of tokes if you're away from your bong to long. Just get out and do something, anything.

Speaking of washing the bedding, Who was the DUmmy that had sex on the guest room bed right before he had to go to the airport to pick up a family member? He left the bedding on. Just re made the bed.

This was a few years back.

I'm thinking underpants. does this ring a bell?

[md11hydmec]

Its sad that alot of them have let their politics ruin family relationships.  They just try everything they can to not be happy.  I don't understand it.  

[longview]

geezopetes what a bunch of whiners.

There have been times that work, weather or whatever has dictated a holiday alone for me and many others I know.  I love being with my family and friends, but I don't let circumstances rule my attitude.  Not to say I never feel disappointment, but I never move to moroseness!

I remember something a man I know who was falsely imprisoned said he learned about an attitude of gratitude.  "Regardless of what is happening: It's a good day whether I like it or not." He liked the verse, "This is the day that the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" (Psalm 118:24)

[Ballygrl]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x67365

Feel the love.   

Oh that's not nice at all, and I feel bad for anyone who's alone on the Holidays unless it's their choice.

[Ballygrl]

Reading that whole thread I have to say Kudos to those at DU who are sensitive to people being alone.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Thy will  be done.

[formerlurker]

We're mocking the mockers.

The FR thread is nothing like the DU thread -- FR are alone because they are working, away from family for whatever reason, etc.  Most in good spirits.

The DU thread is beyond pathetic....  no one calls.... no presents for me......  take a pill already and GET OVER YOURSELF.

[Tucker]

The FR thread is nothing like the DU thread -- FR are alone because they are working, away from family for whatever reason, etc.  Most in good spirits.

The DU thread is beyond pathetic....  no one calls.... no presents for me......  take a pill already and GET OVER YOURSELF.

I understand that. 

[Revolution]

WOW, what a downer of a thread. It makes me feel a sh*tload better about my situation. Probably the best thing a DUmbass will ever do for me.

[formerlurker]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9584184

They aren't alone and are still miserable.

[AprilRazz]

I was alone today as well.
My son is a few hundred miles away spending the holidays with my grandparents. (I had to work and couldn't make the trip)
My husband is deployed.
I didn't want to intrude on my friends precious little time with their families. (they are military as well)
So you know what I did?
I pulled everything off the bed and washed it.
I cleaned the bathroom.
I roasted a Cornish game hen and ate it with a wonderful white wine and mushroom sauce.
I spent an hour on the phone with my husband.
I took an hour long bubble bath and am getting ready to watch a movie with a glass of wine and a slice of cheesecake.

I am not a particularly religious person but still see the holidays (Christmas and new years) as a time to be with my family so I am saving all the holidays(as well as our birthdays) that my husband missed for when he gets home. It is not that I choose not to celebrate, it is that I chose to wait for him. But most important I am happy, have a wonderful husband and son and unlike those primitives not threatening to hang myself on my shower rod.

Of course the poor guy is getting bombarded with a tree, turkey, Halloween candy and all kinds of presents when he gets home.

[Chris_]

I was alone today too but I'm not crying about it.

I did get to see my brother yesterday, so it's all good.  I can't deal with him two days in a row.

[Boudicca]

Oh that's not nice at all, and I feel bad for anyone who's alone on the Holidays unless it's their choice.

Well, to be fair, there were some fairly sympathetic voices towards all those who are lonely over the holidays.  You had to go pretty far down in the thread to find them, it seemed, and of course there was lots of nastiness over there as always.

[NHSparky]

Swear to God, I've seen more caring and compassionate people over at 4chan.