writing thread locked on Skins's island

[franksolich]

http://demopedia.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6179670

Oh my.

GiveMeFreedom  (200 posts)        Wed Jul-29-09 04:42 PM
Original message
 
Journal 4: Writing for the unemployed 

I have not become more enamored with writing because of this class and still feel the same way I did when the class started. My personal life is not going well, unemployed since winter of 2007, losing my home due to foreclosure, wondering to myself how I will be able to afford to pay for my education, whether my education will enable me to find employment in this economy, my age and age discrimination in the workplace, personal depression, my wife’s depression.

The reality, for me, is that writing is low on my list of personal priorities. Food and shelter are fast becoming my main concerns; it will not be long before I am standing in line at the food bank asking for help. Family, friends, and even strangers are sympathetic to my predicament, but have not offered me a job that will help me to support my family.

The political debate over health care that is taking place in Washington, D.C. causes me to be concerned; I have lost my health insurance due to being unemployed and hope I do not succumb to a catastrophic illness that I cannot financially afford.

There are other issues in my life that I will not go into, as they are common to those that are affected by the recession (depression?) that many Americans are experiencing right now. I cannot detach my emotions from the dilemma that is consuming our economy and the world. As I fall deeper into depression, my self esteem is dying and a feeling of personal worthlessness is setting in. I want to give up.

So writing is not high on my list of importance as I feel no one really cares, outside of the instructors at E.U., what I write about. Coming from a blue collar background, I feel that no one in the academic arena would consider me an expert on anything, once again reinforcing my feelings of inadequacies and low self esteem. No one really cares what an unemployed construction worker has to say.

Hannah Bell  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jul-29-09 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
 
2. which is exactly what they want: that most of the population should feel depressed, demoralized, guilty, & most importantly, passive, so they will never have the energy to challenge the rulers.

political action with others restores a sense of self-efficacy, & if you're in a class of other unemployed writers, you're in an ideal position to make waves.

someone in another thread floated the idea of a "union of unemployed". what could a classroom of unemployed writers do on campus, in the community, to bring attention to their situation, the issues, the (thus far) lack of any apparent solutions or relief?

first thing: you have no cause to feel shame; put that on the bastards who brought down the world economy.

there are hundreds of thousands just like you, & they're not lesser human beings. organize.

the dicks who own the world shit just like we all do, & their shit isn't any sweeter.

GiveMeFreedom  (200 posts)        Thu Jul-30-09 12:48 AM
Response to Reply #5
 
6. I'll post this here 

I am trying to reach out ....I had been contemplating suicide. The skull chatter is becoming overwhelming. I went to a therapist today and will see a doc on Friday to get something to calm me down. I could not focus my thoughts,my chest would tighten, breathing was sometimes in gasps, anxiety attacks, sleeping all the time to shut down, anger, depression, hyper focus and unmoving for hours, the usual suspects.

But I know not to do this, for I am married and have two sons. However, if it was not for them, I would be gone, no reason to stick around. I have no real friends, no job since winter of 2007, about to run my unemployment claim out. No future. No one needs a heavy equipment operator, a good one. No roads, no work. I am in a union, but their are 400+ guys on the out of work list.

I am going to school to get a degree (at 51 years of age?)in the only thing I know, Construction Management, but will not graduate until August 2011. I can tell the difference between a motor grader and a paddle wheel, a ginnie and surveyor stake,do takeoffs and quantify, even run the paver to pave the road after I engineer and stabilize the sub grade with all the machines necessary to do that kind of work and operate all of them with the skill only a person of 30 years could master. Even tell you how much it'll cost.

But no one needs construction workers like me, to smart for my own good. I don't like corporate schmucks who lie to rank and file members and I have told them that to their face. Never been fired because of that, I was to valuable to be laid off for a slight misunderstanding like that. I have made contractors millions of dollars and am considered an artist of sorts. But no work is no work and even contractors are starting to really hurt.

I noticed my doctors office has new employees though, hope the roads they drive on deteriorate to cattle trails, then when it rains, we'll see who needs who. I know none of this makes sense, as I am very scattered right now. Hope? I don't know.

Tangerine LaBamba  (1000+ posts)      Thu Jul-30-09 12:58 AM
Response to Reply #6

7. You wrote a lot - how did you feel as you were doing it?

How did it feel when you were done?

If writing isn't fun for you - but I get the feeling that it is - then it will be impossible to find the energy to do it, given all the other things you have pounding on you right now.

But, if it gives you pleasure - and you're very good at it - then why not do it? No one has to read it - you have to write for yourself, first and foremost. When you start thinking about people looking over your shoulder, you sacrifice a certain amount of honesty, because a small degree of self-consciousness of necessity creeps in.

Why aren't you teaching writing? You should be showing others how you do it?

You clearly have a lot of gifts, and this world sucks, because, right now, your gifts are neither recognized nor valued. Still, you can't kill yourself - that's the ultimate and final solution to a temporary problem. At fifty-one, you're old enough to know that it always blows over. Always. I've always considered suicide an act that kills the actor quickly and his loved ones slowly.

So, don't do it.

But, think about how it feels when you write - no matter what you write, no matter where you put it, no matter what it's about. Think about it and consider that it's really all right for you to feel good.

muriel_volestrangler   (1000+ posts)        Thu Jul-30-09 08:25 AM
Response to Reply #6
 
9. GiveMeFreedom, we are very concerned to hear your state of mind 

It's good that you saw a therapist yesterday, and will see a doctor on Friday (though if you can possibly see them today, that might be even better).

If you want to talk to anyone before you see your doctor (or after it) about this, we recommend you phone this number:

1-800-784-2433

where you can talk to trained counsellors about this. In the mean time, it's probably better that DUers do not offer you counselling themselves - this should always come from people trained in it, and we can't vouch for the training of DU members. I hope you understand.

All the best,
The DU moderators.

muriel_volestrangler   (1000+ posts)        Thu Jul-30-09 08:27 AM
Response to Original message
 
10. Locking

Given your last post in this thread, the moderators feel it's best if we don't leave this open for general comment. We urge you to call this number (1-800-784-2433) if you want to talk to someone about your situation and state.

Yours,
The DU moderators.

[Rebel]

Probably better to just off yourself, GiveMeFreedom.

[GOBUCKS]

If I were in the depths of depression, on the verge of suicide, I'd head straight for the DUmp. If they can validate Beth Ferrari, the dumbest person on all the internets, as a writer and a thinker, surely they can do something uplifting for DUmmy GiveMeFreedomFries.

On the other hand, if they cannot, then I agree with Rebel. Do it, GiveMeFreedomFries.

[Karin]

I cannot believe he's been out of work since late 2007; given his skill level.  There must be something he could do.  Deliver pizzas for Christsake!  There is no way I would ever let a foreclosure happen to me.  I'd work 24/7 at anything to keep my house. 

[GOBUCKS]

I cannot believe he's been out of work since late 2007; given his skill level.  There must be something he could do.  Deliver pizzas for Christsake!  There is no way I would ever let a foreclosure happen to me.  I'd work 24/7 at anything to keep my house. 

This is another of those DUmmy tales of woe where it is as clear as the nose on your face that some very important details are being omitted. Like, maybe he's been in prison since late 2007. Maybe he pulled a gun on the boss in late 2007. Maybe he sold a road grader on eBay in late 2007. DUmmies never include the important stuff when they whine about their plight.

Would you hire him as your Construction Manager? Would Vandalay Industries hire him as their latex salesman?

[delilahmused]

Well, given his attitude, perhaps the reason he can't find a job is because he acts like he's better than those from whom he's seeking employment. Things like:

But no one needs construction workers like me, to smart for my own good. I don't like corporate schmucks who lie to rank and file members and I have told them that to their face. Never been fired because of that, I was to valuable to be laid off for a slight misunderstanding like that. I have made contractors millions of dollars and am considered an artist of sorts.

It's a good thing he doesn't have to write bids and such since with all of his brains he hasn't learned which "too" to use. Just like every other DUmmie he's smarter than everyone else, he's worth double his weight in gold, better than the other thousands of people who can do exactly what he does (probably without the arrogance), but everyone else is too stupid or greedy to recognize his enormous ego talent. Besides why would anyone hire someone who, instead of being grateful they have a job, accuses their boss of lying. Lying or not, they still make union wages, have union benefits, and work union hours.

But still, a lot of homeowners are choosing to remodel rather than sell, could he not, with his vast, artistic experience, resurface driveways, concrete patios, retaining walls, walkways, etc.? Are there NO shovel ready jobs where he lives? Perhaps he just needs to remember that a little humility goes a long way. No wonder he's depressed, he's convinced he's better than everyone else and the rest of the world doesn't think the same way.

Cindie

[JohnnyReb]

I see his problem, he rode those umemployment checks for 2 years without even looking for a job.........now that they're about to end ...Panic button time.

 ".....my wife’s depression."... I have the solution to her depression...DIVORCE.

[LC EFA]

I am going to school to get a degree (at 51 years of age?)in the only thing I know, Construction Management, but will not graduate until August 2011. I can tell the difference between a motor grader and a paddle wheel, a ginnie and surveyor stake,do takeoffs and quantify, even run the paver to pave the road after I engineer and stabilize the sub grade with all the machines necessary to do that kind of work and operate all of them with the skill only a person of 30 years could master. Even tell you how much it'll cost.

But no one needs construction workers like me, to smart for my own good. I don't like corporate schmucks who lie to rank and file members and I have told them that to their face. Never been fired because of that, I was to valuable to be laid off for a slight misunderstanding like that. I have made contractors millions of dollars and am considered an artist of sorts. But no work is no work and even contractors are starting to really hurt.

If any of this was even remotely true he'd have a wide variety of avenues open in the job market.

I suspect the closest this primitive has ever been to construction management was staring at them from over the other side of the job site while propping himself up with a pretty little "STOP/GO" sign and irritating motorists.

[thundley4]

I am going to school to get a degree (at 51 years of age?)in the only thing I know, Construction Management, but will not graduate until August 2011. I can tell the difference between a motor grader and a paddle wheel, a ginnie and surveyor stake,do takeoffs and quantify, even run the paver to pave the road after I engineer and stabilize the sub grade with all the machines necessary to do that kind of work and operate all of them with the skill only a person of 30 years could master. Even tell you how much it'll cost.

Damn, sounds like he's used to sucking off the government teat through road building contracts.

[Ree]

Heavy equipment operator unemployed since winter of 07? WTF???
Must be one of the lazy union pukes who would rather collect unemployment than work a "non-union" job....
Cowboy is still workin construction...looks like he maybe sent to ID for a wind tower job(could be a year or longer) after his 2 weeks in IN

[The Village Idiot]

I cannot believe he's been out of work since late 2007; given his skill level.  There must be something he could do.  Deliver pizzas for Christsake!  There is no way I would ever let a foreclosure happen to me.  I'd work 24/7 at anything to keep my house. 

That reminds me, did that one DUmmy franchise owner ever find a pizza delivery driver?? Probably got nothing but crickets on that site.