DU bitterly, bitterly dissapointed.

[zeitgeist]

Anyone else heard about this letter? 

http://upload.democraticunderground.com/10021907887

 Liberal_in_LA (26,894 posts)

Dad's ....

CNN) -- They're calling it the "Crews missile."

Fired from the keyboard of 67-year-old Nick Crews, the missive blew the lid off his dysfunctional family.

In an e-mail titled "Dear All Three," published in U.K. newspaper The Telegraph, Crews excoriates his three grown children for their professional and personal failures and for the "bitter disappointment each of you has in your own way dished out" to him and his wife.

Crews, a retired British naval officer, was fed up with his children's unsuccessful marriages and inability to earn a living that, as he said, measures up to their potential.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/30/living/telegraph-nick-crews-email/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

'I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed': retired naval officer's email to children in full
This is the full email that retired Royal Navy officer Nick Crews sent to his son and two daughters in February expressing his and his wife's disappointment in them.

------------------

Dear All Three

With last evening's crop of whinges and tidings of more rotten news for which you seem to treat your mother like a cess-pit, I feel it is time to come off my perch.

It is obvious that none of you has the faintest notion of the bitter disappointment each of you has in your own way dished out to us. We are seeing the miserable death throes of the fourth of your collective marriages at the same time we see the advent of a fifth.

We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked of news of our own children and grandchildren. I wonder if you realise how we feel — we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us. We don't ask for your sympathy or understanding — Mum and I have been used to taking our own misfortunes on the chin, and making our own effort to bash our little paths through life without being a burden to others. Having done our best — probably misguidedly — to provide for our children, we naturally hoped to see them in turn take up their own banners and provide happy and stable homes for their own children.

(snip)

I can now tell you that I for one, and I sense Mum feels the same, have had enough of being forced to live through the never-ending bad dream of our children's underachievement and domestic ineptitudes. I want to hear no more from any of you until, if you feel inclined, you have a success or an achievement or a REALISTIC plan for the support and happiness of your children to tell me about. I don't want to see your mother burdened any more with your miserable woes — it's not as if any of the advice she strives to give you has ever been listened to with good grace — far less acted upon. So I ask you to spare her further unhappiness. If you think I have been unfair in what I have said, by all means try to persuade me to change my mind. But you won't do it by simply whingeing and saying you don't like it. You'll have to come up with meaty reasons to demolish my points and build a case for yourself. If that isn't possible, or you simply can't be bothered, then I rest my case.

I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed.

Dad

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9686219/I-am-bitterly-bitterly-disappointed-retired-naval-officers-email-to-children-in-full.html

This is a very big campfire.  I had a very hard time loading it for comments.

I did grab this one to start things off.

laundry_queen (3,421 posts)
56. +1

That's exactly right.

I actually belong to a board for adults who are now dealing with abuse suffered in childhood. Often times it's subtle, constant emotional abuse and the child (now adult) often breaks contact because of some last straw. Usually it's the parent blaming the child for something yet again or the parent refusing to take responsibility for something they've done that wasn't so nice and it's a pattern. The parents often tell everyone their sob story about their 'ungrateful' children, leaving out the part where there has been dysfunction and abuse and that the kids have put up with more than enough already.

[DumbAss Tanker]

laundry_queen (3,421 posts)
56. +1

That's exactly right.

I actually belong to a board for adults who are now dealing with abuse suffered in childhood. Often times it's subtle, constant emotional abuse and the child (now adult) often breaks contact because of some last straw. Usually it's the parent blaming the child for something yet again or the parent refusing to take responsibility for something they've done that wasn't so nice and it's a pattern. The parents often tell everyone their sob story about their 'ungrateful' children, leaving out the part where there has been dysfunction and abuse and that the kids have put up with more than enough already.

Three guesses who this DUmbellina puts on the blame line for all her own shortcomings...

 

[formerlurker]

pnwmom (41,147 posts)
97. One of these failures, his oldest daughter, has three kids and is married to a surgeon

View profile

Last edited Fri Nov 30, 2012, 08:32 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)
and has set up a small business and is translating a book which is about to be published.

But apparently she hasn't given him enough to brag about.

He's a textbook narcissist.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9686721/Daughter-defends-former-submarine-captain-who-told-children-he-was-bitterly-disappointed-in-them.html

Mrs Crews-Montes now lives in Brittany with her second husband, a French surgeon, and three children aged 18 months, two, and 12.

She said her father’s email did not upset her because she had already begun to turn her life around when she received it in February. She had set up a business and had started translating a French self-help book into English.

“I had already done what he told me to do. I had already given myself a kick up the backside.” She admitted spending “many years underperforming”, partly because her father’s uncompromising stance left her with little self-confidence.

 


Take a pill and GET THE FREAK OVER IT.   


Is it no wonder at all that Obama is president after reading through this thread - they all blame others, they take no personal responsibility for anything, and they will live forever with their hand out. 

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Three guesses who this DUmbellina puts on the blame line for all her own shortcomings...

 

1. someone else

2. not her

3. anyone but her

[GOBUCKS]

Nearly all DUmp democrats are bitter disappointments to their own parents, so they're sensitive to a letter like that.

[Tucker]

Three guesses who this DUmbellina puts on the blame line for all her own shortcomings...

 

Love the new descriptive moniker for ...........................Damn, I want to say liberal females but that just ain't right. Only a medical examiner could say for sure if the were female.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Love the new descriptive moniker for ...........................Damn, I want to say liberal females but that just ain't right. Only a medical examiner could say for sure if the were female.

Then let's get cracking!

[Freeper]

I heard Beck talking about it on Friday, I was wondering when the moonbats were going to discover it. 

[DumbAss Tanker]

Then let's get cracking!

Talk about "Lookin' fer luv in all the wrong places"...

[BlueStateSaint]

Then let's get cracking!

You first!

And if (notice I didn't type "when") you find any, let us know, from downwind.

[vesta111]

You first!

And if (notice I didn't type "when") you find any, let us know, from downwind.

      Reminds me of a class I had in nursing school where the subject was    " No one has a perfect childhood."

Since when was childhood supposed to be perfect with no problems to over come and all is strawberry fields forever ???    No disappointments, no reality of life, birth and death of family members ??? No pet ever die, no friend moves away,  parents are less then human with no faults or problems of their own.

The most successful friends I ever had came up the brutal way in life, they knew at a young age they would have to work around the foibles of family, friends and outsiders.

They did as childhood is for training children to survive as Adults, to think for themselves and get around the horrid things that can happen to children as they grow up.

Now we have a parent that is so disappointed in how his children turned out-------Did this parent in any way finance his children's choices in life ??

Did this parent in any way give silent concent to his children to continue on the stair way to hell ???

Did this parent bail them out of jail or pay off their debts in some fashion. ???

Balderdash, disappoint with a child comes when most is expected and the child does not come through.