I want to plan an invasion of CU, who's with me?

[NHSparky]

Hi Schade

Hello fellow partner in crime. Your ass spread comment depresses me.   

It would me too but alas my ass is contracting and not spreading for the time being. 

Good thing us near middle-aged guys don't have to worry about OUR asses spreading (unless we're in prison and bent over).

[Chris_]

When you dance, does your head provided the maracas?

And yet do I get an honest answer for the query I posed? Nope. 

My St. Paddy's celebration will be slowly revealed.  I put green food coloring in everything I ate today.

Ah tales of shamrocks and blarney stones..... 

[Chris_]

Well not really, but I got your attention, didn't I? 

Anyway, so how are all y'all gonna spend St. Patty's weekend? 

Hopefully in your company.

You will have to come to a second Irish Dance festival tomorrow. 

[jtyangel]

Hi Schade

Hello fellow partner in crime. Your ass spread comment depresses me.   

It would me too but alas my ass is contracting and not spreading for the time being. 

Good thing us near middle-aged guys don't have to worry about OUR asses spreading (unless we're in prison and bent over).

middle age guys usually gotta worry about their midsections spreading not their butts. Us girls gotta worry about the hindquarters. The prison thing...ewwwww

[Lord Undies]

When you dance, does your head provided the maracas?

And yet do I get an honest answer for the query I posed? Nope. 

My St. Paddy's celebration will be slowly revealed.  I put green food coloring in everything I ate today.

Ah tales of shamrocks and blarney stones..... 

And that snotty-looking stuff.  Don't forget the snotty stuff.

[Chris_]

I'll be the stealthy mole, back from near non-existent posting.

Powerball numbers will be read in a bit. After my numbers are read, I shall bid you guys a dew. 

Dew?  You gonna pee on us?

It reminds me of a cartoonn I saw awhile ago. It was a guy standing on his boss' desk peeing on him. The boss says "I take it you won the lottery". 

[NHSparky]

When you dance, does your head provided the maracas?

And yet do I get an honest answer for the query I posed? Nope. 

My St. Paddy's celebration will be slowly revealed.  I put green food coloring in everything I ate today.

Ah tales of shamrocks and blarney stones..... 

I could tell you a story about the Blarney Stone (yes, I went to Blarney Castle a few years back).

Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, kiss it.  What the locals do there at night...eyewwww.

[Chris_]

When you dance, does your head provided the maracas?

And yet do I get an honest answer for the query I posed? Nope. 

My St. Paddy's celebration will be slowly revealed.  I put green food coloring in everything I ate today.

Ah tales of shamrocks and blarney stones..... 

I could tell you a story about the Blarney Stone (yes, I went to Blarney Castle a few years back).

Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, kiss it.  What the locals do there at night...eyewwww.

Oh heavens, those Irish.  That island was way too small.... all that inbreeding! 

[Chris_]

When you dance, does your head provided the maracas?

And yet do I get an honest answer for the query I posed? Nope. 

My St. Paddy's celebration will be slowly revealed.  I put green food coloring in everything I ate today.

Ah tales of shamrocks and blarney stones..... 

And that snotty-looking stuff.  Don't forget the snotty stuff.

I had forgotten it, until you mentioned it. Thank you very much. 

[NHSparky]

Hi Schade

Hello fellow partner in crime. Your ass spread comment depresses me.   

It would me too but alas my ass is contracting and not spreading for the time being. 

Good thing us near middle-aged guys don't have to worry about OUR asses spreading (unless we're in prison and bent over).

middle age guys usually gotta worry about their midsections spreading not their butts. Us girls gotta worry about the hindquarters. The prison thing...ewwwww

Yeah, well, that's what us guys have to deal with now that we're over 40.  At least my doctor doesn't have a sick sense of humor and have his PA/nurse in there when he's doing the "exam"...

You know how it goes...doctor puts a hand on your shoulder, fist up your wazoo to the elbow, then the nurse puts a hand on your OTHER shoulder...

[Chris_]

Hi Schade

Hello fellow partner in crime. Your ass spread comment depresses me.   

It would me too but alas my ass is contracting and not spreading for the time being. 

Good thing us near middle-aged guys don't have to worry about OUR asses spreading (unless we're in prison and bent over).

middle age guys usually gotta worry about their midsections spreading not their butts. Us girls gotta worry about the hindquarters. The prison thing...ewwwww

Who was it that said you wear tight jeans and your butt flattens out? I think it was WE. 

I remember telling ginger at CU that I couldn't stand the waist-high-ass-is-flat jeans on moms. Oye. 

[Chris_]

Hi Schade

Hello fellow partner in crime. Your ass spread comment depresses me.   

It would me too but alas my ass is contracting and not spreading for the time being. 

Good thing us near middle-aged guys don't have to worry about OUR asses spreading (unless we're in prison and bent over).

middle age guys usually gotta worry about their midsections spreading not their butts. Us girls gotta worry about the hindquarters. The prison thing...ewwwww

Yeah, well, that's what us guys have to deal with now that we're over 40.  At least my doctor doesn't have a sick sense of humor and have his PA/nurse in there when he's doing the "exam"...

You know how it goes...doctor puts a hand on your shoulder, fist up your wazoo to the elbow, then the nurse puts a hand on your OTHER shoulder...

I take it you don't realize the nurse is in the room...  How sadistic.

Oh but are you exaggerating about the elbow thing?

[NHSparky]

Who was it that said you wear tight jeans and your butt flattens out? I think it was WE. 

I take it you never saw Superbad.

[Chris_]

Who was it that said you wear tight jeans and your butt flattens out? I think it was WE. 

I take it you never saw Superbad.

I haven't, I think you mentioned that movie before but in a different context. It's a must see, eh? 

[NHSparky]

I take it you don't realize the nurse is in the room...  How sadistic.

Oh but are you exaggerating about the elbow thing?

How quickly the concepts of humor and sarcasm elude them.

Then again, what about you women and your exams?  Do they put those instruments in the freezer before they're used on ya?

[NHSparky]

Who was it that said you wear tight jeans and your butt flattens out? I think it was WE. 

I take it you never saw Superbad.

I haven't, I think you mentioned that movie before but in a different context. It's a must see, eh? 

I think so.  Come on over, I've got the unrated version on DVD.

McLovin?  Are you violating that young girl, McLovin?

[jtyangel]

Hi Schade

Hello fellow partner in crime. Your ass spread comment depresses me.   

It would me too but alas my ass is contracting and not spreading for the time being. 

Good thing us near middle-aged guys don't have to worry about OUR asses spreading (unless we're in prison and bent over).

middle age guys usually gotta worry about their midsections spreading not their butts. Us girls gotta worry about the hindquarters. The prison thing...ewwwww

Yeah, well, that's what us guys have to deal with now that we're over 40.  At least my doctor doesn't have a sick sense of humor and have his PA/nurse in there when he's doing the "exam"...

You know how it goes...doctor puts a hand on your shoulder, fist up your wazoo to the elbow, then the nurse puts a hand on your OTHER shoulder...

lol...I have a funny story about that regarding my late bil. He was getting the scope up the wazoo and goes "damn doc" and the doctor said "do you think I like doing this" and my bil says "your the one who made a career out of it". 

On another note, I'd feel for ya guys except for the fact that not only do us gals have to endure that on occasion we also get the speculum once a year to boot. Not pleasant. *shudder*

[Chris_]

I take it you don't realize the nurse is in the room...  How sadistic.

Oh but are you exaggerating about the elbow thing?

How quickly the concepts of humor and sarcasm elude them.

Then again, what about you women and your exams?  Do they put those instruments in the freezer before they're used on ya?

I like when they say... now you will feel a bit of pressure and then the dreadful 'ufia' happens. 

[Wretched Excess]

do all of your threads turn into the "thread of the night"?

[Chris_]

do all of your threads turn into the "thread of the night"?

You need a "topic grabber" and, my love, timing is everything. Here were my other topic grabbers that didn't make it:

1. It's a penis redux! - dismissed cuz I thought menz would not participate.
2. It's a beaver! - dismissed cuz it seemed to over the top.
3. I just ate a bag of reeses peanut butter eggs - dismissed because it was true. 
4. I have this friend who is on call (male hooker) and he just suffered a nasty virus
- dismissed.... 

[NHSparky]

I take it you don't realize the nurse is in the room...  How sadistic.

Oh but are you exaggerating about the elbow thing?

How quickly the concepts of humor and sarcasm elude them.

Then again, what about you women and your exams?  Do they put those instruments in the freezer before they're used on ya?

I like when they say... now you will feel a bit of pressure and then the dreadful 'ufia' happens. 

Try getting the colonoscopy.  That procedure's a ****in hoot from beginning until AFTER it ends.  From drinking the gallon of "Go Lytely" (which tastes like burnt plastic shit) to the six-FOOT hose with a camcorder on the end, to the "puff of air" that feels (even sedated) like someone shoved a CO2 fire extinguisher up your ass and set it off, to the 4-MINUTE (yes, I timed it) long fart an hour after you get home that has the dog looking at you thinking, "Damn, and you rub MY nose in one little pile in the corner?"

[Chris_]

I take it you don't realize the nurse is in the room...  How sadistic.

Oh but are you exaggerating about the elbow thing?

How quickly the concepts of humor and sarcasm elude them.

Then again, what about you women and your exams?  Do they put those instruments in the freezer before they're used on ya?

I like when they say... now you will feel a bit of pressure and then the dreadful 'ufia' happens. 

Try getting the colonoscopy.  That procedure's a ****in hoot from beginning until AFTER it ends.  From drinking the gallon of "Go Lytely" (which tastes like burnt plastic shit) to the six-FOOT hose with a camcorder on the end, to the "puff of air" that feels (even sedated) like someone shoved a CO2 fire extinguisher up your ass and set it off, to the 4-MINUTE (yes, I timed it) long fart an hour after you get home that has the dog looking at you thinking, "Damn, and you rub MY nose in one little pile in the corner?"

Oh good grief! I have one this August. But, the alternative is not pretty. I have relatives on both sides who have had colo-rectal cancer and died from it. My grandmother was only 53 when she died. My father has been having pre-cancerous polyps removed since he was 48.

Everyone should be screened.

Looking forward to letting it rip.... I am gonna do it in bed and then pull the sheets over my husband.... payback is a bitch. 

[NHSparky]

That's not really payback, cause while it's loud, long, and obnoxious, it doesn't really stink, considering there's nothing in there anyway.

[jtyangel]

I take it you don't realize the nurse is in the room...  How sadistic.

Oh but are you exaggerating about the elbow thing?

How quickly the concepts of humor and sarcasm elude them.

Then again, what about you women and your exams?  Do they put those instruments in the freezer before they're used on ya?

I like when they say... now you will feel a bit of pressure and then the dreadful 'ufia' happens. 

Try getting the colonoscopy.  That procedure's a ****in hoot from beginning until AFTER it ends.  From drinking the gallon of "Go Lytely" (which tastes like burnt plastic shit) to the six-FOOT hose with a camcorder on the end, to the "puff of air" that feels (even sedated) like someone shoved a CO2 fire extinguisher up your ass and set it off, to the 4-MINUTE (yes, I timed it) long fart an hour after you get home that has the dog looking at you thinking, "Damn, and you rub MY nose in one little pile in the corner?"

I'm die...laughing.

[NHSparky]

So let me ask a question here...if we start the thread as a discussion of CU and it turns into a thread discussing assholes, did we ever REALLY get off topic?