I start out with the DUmmies' excuses and then add a few of my own. Feel free to add yours:
Top Excuses For Romney Winning The First Debate
Obama had altitude sickness.
Lehrer didn't moderate fairly.
Romney was hyped up on mind-expanding drugs.
Romney had crib sheets to cheat off of (cleverly disguised as a handkerchief, flashed in front of millions of viewers and plopped down sneakily on top of his podium)
Obama meant to lose - it was Rope-A-Dopeâ„¢
Obama meant to lose - it was 24-Dimensional Chessâ„¢
Barry depressed and anxious over the "special sex" expected of him by the First Wookie on their anniversary night.
O' busy figuring out how to cook the unemployment numbers over the next two days.
Rove!
President became distracted over thought of life without Big Bird.
Diebold!
Spent most of debate trying to remember Osam Bin Laden's name - Pissed because he didn't get to use it.
Performance anxiety over producing a repeat of Chrissy's leg tingle.
Kept wondering how to say "God damn America!" without offending anyone.
Completely befuddled being away from Slick and Sparky, his two pet teleprompters he adopted five years ago.
Tried to be as exciting and energetic as Al Gore, but just couldn't pull it off.
No Greek columns allowed on stage.
After consulting with Bill Clinton, only question he studied for was, "Boxers or briefs?"