2014: #08 Top DUmmie (NYC_SKP)

[franksolich]

Congratulations! to NYC_SKP, winner of the eighth spot in the Top Ten DUmmies of 2014.

Merry Christmas, Skippy!  Ho ho ho…..

Skippy’s been a non-entity in the Top DUmmie awards, slowly emerging from the dark muddied morass of Skins’s island as the #18 Top DUmmie of 2013, last year.

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How he managed to do that, I’ll get to in a minute, but first:

Skippy’s 57, 58 years old, single, and lives north of Sacramento, California, where he enjoys a handsome paycheck and generous taxpayer-paid benefits, as a desk-sitting governmental bureaucrat, sometimes a teacher.

Skippy grew up near where he lives, on an asparagus farm owned by his grandfather.  Sadly, Skippy’s father deserted Skippy’s mother and her children, and they had to go live with her parents, who were honest but poor folk.

However, all did not go badly for Skippy; he was surrounded by all these decent and civilized hard-working people who loved and cherished him, dedicating many of their meager resources to help him develop character and principles.

Skippy got one of the best educations possible; first, in a two-room two-teacher rural schoolhouse, which prepared him for acceptance into one of the premier engineering colleges in America, on a full-ride scholarship.

There’s no doubt that Skippy’s bright; in fact, he’s probably the highest IQed primitive on Skins’s island.

Earlier this year, unfortunately Skippy suffered a cerebral aneurysm, and had to have a hole drilled in his skull.

One notices subtle changes and a slight diminuition in intelligence, but he’s still an Albert Einstein when compared with his fellow primitives.  Most of us would need some professional help building a suitcase nuclear bomb; Skippy’s still got the brains and know-how to do it all by himself with one eye shut and one hand tied behind his back.

He’s truly dangerous, perhaps the most dangerous primitive around; the other primitives are simply ridiculous, but Skippy poses a real and present danger to our liberties and freedoms, to our very lives.

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For reasons which might, or might not, be obvious, I won’t bother describing his personality, his causes, his peccadillos, his paranoia, in this award…..other than mentioning that the guy is badly in need, like Atman, of the services of a wardrobe consultant.

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So then, how was it that Skippy managed to spring out of nowhere, becoming one of the stellar comedic attractions in the DUmpster?

One fine spring evening nearly two years ago, I was sitting at the computer, minding my own business and at peace with the world and all in it, when suddenly a message arrived, from a primitive source on Skins’s island.

“Hey, have you seen what this guy’s saying about you?”

I checked.

NYC_SKP (47,771 posts) Thu Mar 28, 2013, 04:08 PM

17. Ask me how stupid Conservative Cave dwellers are.....

Answer, they are so stupid that when they posted the name changes some of us made in 2009...

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=21083.30;wap2

They fell for my joke sigline:

NorCalDem ............. Bush in Berkeley
Norrin Radd ............. Progs Rock
NYC_SKP ............. Name Removed
Nye Bevan ............. MathGuy
Obamanaut ............. usnret88
Obamarama ............. KzooDem

You had to be there, and if you had you'd know that namechangers got a red notice telling others what their former name was, and "Name Removed" was what was left when a reply was removed.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018348745

Actually, Skippy posted the wrong link; it’s

“primitive name changes for 2009”
http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=21813

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What irked me so much about this was not his pointing out an error, but his excessively bad manners in the way he did it. 

Few things irk me more than bad manners; there‘s never a need to be rude.

Now, if my good pal Manny, the “MannyGoldstein” primitive, had spotted the mistake, he would’ve said something along the lines of “Wow! all these names, and franksolich made only one mistake.

“That’s awesomely remarkable, a negligible error-rate, only one mistake, out of thousands of possible mistakes.”

But my good pal Manny, bless his heart, knows how to win friends and influence people, while Skippy doesn’t know shit about tact and diplomacy; he’s got about as much finesse and adroitness as a rock.

If Skippy wanted a jihad, well, he got a jihad, going from a little-mentioned obscure PonP (primitive of non-prominence), one of the lumpenunterprimitiven, part of the faceless lynch mob, to becoming one of the top stars in the DUmpster.

It’s been brutal; whenever I’ve seen a frenzied-eyed Islamacist walking around waving a scimitar, I’ve quickly turned around and gone the other way, lest he be one of Skippy’s pals stalking franksolich.

As skinny as this neck is, it’d take just one “swish” of the blade, and franksolich is in two pieces.

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Congratulations and merry Christmas, Skippy!

[USA4ME]

If he's the brightest they have, ..... 

Not sure if this primitive has the staying power to repeat in the Top 10. If he ends up like WCGreen and documents it, then maybe. He does seem to be siding with the "Dems are being too corporate" kooks on the island, and there's no telling where their craziness could take them. But he'll need to step up his game, and I personally don't believe he has it in him.

.

[freedumb2003b]

fact, he’s probably the highest IQed primitive on Skins’s island.

That is like being the best yodeler in Harlem.

[BattleHymn]

Skippy the light bulb disciple is lucky to get his trepanning in before a death panel was able to review and reject the operation due to advanced age. 

Sometimes I wonder if the piece of coconut shell they used to fill the hole in his skull is maybe a little too big, causing Skippy discomfort.  Outside of alcohol and medications, this might explain some of Skippy's outbursts.

[obumazombie]

He's a born and raised granola stater. Why is he laying claim to the big apple initials ?

[Skul]

fact, he’s probably the highest IQed primitive on Skins’s island.

That is like being the best yodeler in Harlem.

Um, yes, good for one. 


In re to BH's trepanning comment...the coring bit needed to be the deep-reach type.

[BattleHymn]

He's a born and raised granola stater. Why is he laying claim to the big apple initials ?

PS: Fact is, my DU user name is inspired by Barney, who was once heard to say, "Andy, I think we got us an SKP!" (escapee)

[fatboy]

If he's the brightest they have, ..... 

Not sure if this primitive has the staying power to repeat in the Top 10.

I agree. It seems to me that skippy has to work hard at being a DUmmy. But still, hard work has it's rewards.

[Carl]

Barry is a fraud who plays the DUmbasses for the idiots that they are.

[Tess Anderson]

  Have to say I'm a little upset that Skippy placed so low, thought he'd be in the Top Three for sure. Then again, I do find most of his posts dull but paranoid . . .  and I think it's a little bit odd that he's never been married but I chalk that up to being a momma's boy.

He IS looking, single Santa Cruzers:

http://www.meetup.com/Santa-Cruz-Singles-35-Finding-Love/

[franksolich]

He IS looking, single Santa Cruzers:

http://www.meetup.com/Santa-Cruz-Singles-35-Finding-Love/

You gotta be joshing me.

He's not married, but I had the impression he's serious with a certain woman.

I need to point out for other singles seeking a primitive male, Skippy is prime marital material, given his job, in which he's well-paid and well-benefited, and since it's a governmental job, he'll never get fired no matter what.

<<<highly recommends Skippy for anyone seeking a primitive male.

[franksolich]

Hey everybody, I screwed up.

In sequence, this was supposed to have been the "nadin," for the primitive who thinks he's smarter than God.  And then Skippy's award, this one, was to follow.

I was going by the top of my head, and the top of my head was wrong.

So tomorrow we got the "nadin" and #07 Top DUmmie of 2014; that'll correct the error in sequence, but it also means we'll have to endure the same primitive twice in a row.

Damn.  I was trying to avoid that.

[Skul]

Have to say I'm a little upset that Skippy placed so low, thought he'd be in the Top Three for sure. Then again, I do find most of his posts dull but paranoid . . .  and I think it's a little bit odd that he's never been married but I chalk that up to being a momma's boy.

He IS looking, single Santa Cruzers:

http://www.meetup.com/Santa-Cruz-Singles-35-Finding-Love/

The turd-burglar is looking for a young fat boy.   

[tanstaafl]

Skippy the light bulb disciple is lucky to get his trepanning in before a death panel was able to review and reject the operation due to advanced age. 

Sometimes I wonder if the piece of coconut shell they used to fill the hole in his skull is maybe a little too big, causing Skippy discomfort.  Outside of alcohol and medications, this might explain some of Skippy's outbursts.

Wouldn't have been better, in case of a relapse, to have hammered a cork in to plug the bore hole?

[franksolich]

I will say I had a great deal of fun writing this; more fun than writing all the rest of them put together--although I'm sure the franksolich'll give just as much personal merriment.

There's two deliberately-planted subliminal messages for the primitives in it; one, a parody of their hypersensitivity to criticism, and two, a mockery of Skippy's paranoia about us.

Primitives of course don't have the cerebral sophistication to see this, but for some, perhaps the message might get through in their subconscious.

[franksolich]

The turd-burglar is looking for a young fat boy.   

Oh now.

Beginning sometime the evening of March 28, 2013, I made it a point to find and read everything Skippy's ever posted on Skins's island.  I'm not sure I've found and read everything he's written, but I'm pretty sure I've seen most of it.

Note to lurking paranoid primitives: this is how decent and civilized people learn about individual primitives; no "searching" outside the boundaries of Skins's island, no real-life contact--but instead simply by reading things coming out of a primitive's own mouth on Skins's island.

I've probably read as much reading Skippy as I have reading Mark Twain or Leo Tolstoy or Shalom Aleichem; he's surely been prolific, and most generous in baring his soul in a public forum.

I don't think Skippy's gay at all; so Wills, the "William769 primitive," might as well give up.   I'm not sure why Skippy's not married, or at least shacking up with a woman, but there's a lot of good, legitimate reasons why a man wouldn't, or isn't.

<<<knows.

[franksolich]

Wouldn't have been better, in case of a relapse, to have hammered a cork in to plug the bore hole?

I forget when it is, but it's sometime soon, that Skippy's having the hole plugged up.

Not being a brain surgeon, I dunno why they left the hole there in the first place; if I had such a cavity, I'd insist it be sealed up as soon as possible (such as when the esophagus ruptured open five years ago).

I wonder if it's a case like Skippy's predecessor, the #09 Top DUmmie of 2014, TheMastersNumbskull, and his subconscious death-wish.

[tanstaafl]

Not being a brain surgeon, I dunno why they left the hole there in the first place; if I had such a cavity, I'd insist it be sealed up as soon as possible (such as when the esophagus ruptured open five years ago).

Then I will ask a Medical School Head of Neurosurgery when I see him over the holidays.

[franksolich]

Then I will ask a Medical School Head of Neurosurgery when I see him over the holidays.

I wonder if it was kept open to drain, but I have no idea what they'd want it to drain.

To me, it seems to increase the risk of infection, and the brain after all's a pretty delicate thing.  One shouldn't mess with it if one doesn't have to, and that of course includes mind-altering drugs.

But as Skippy's admitted to getting "high" before--apparently real life isn't as uplifting, as exhilarating, as enjoyable, as being in an unreal state of mind is--maybe there's already been damage, and the surgeons figured oh, well.....

[tanstaafl]

I wonder if it was kept open to drain, but I have no idea what they'd want it to drain.

To me, it seems to increase the risk of infection, and the brain after all's a pretty delicate thing.  One shouldn't mess with it if one doesn't have to, and that of course includes mind-altering drugs.

But as Skippy's admitted to getting "high" before--apparently real life isn't as uplifting, as exhilarating, as enjoyable, as being in an unreal state of mind is--maybe there's already been damage, and the surgeons figured oh, well.....

It won't be considered 'permanent' until the plug goes on (stainless steel for Gov't insurance, titanium for private insurance). So, it might be for ease of reaccess, or there is the possibility of drainage from fluid build-up (what used to be called 'water on the brain').

[franksolich]

It won't be considered 'permanent' until the plug goes on (stainless steel for Gov't insurance, titanium for private insurance). So, it might be for ease of reaccess, or there is the possibility of drainage from fluid build-up (what used to be called 'water on the brain').

You know, when I was three and a half years old, I got mauled by a car; being deaf, I had no concept of anything being behind me or on either side of me, only what was right in front of me.

I was mauled, seriously.

As the kid who came running to my older brothers to tell them put it, "[franksolich] has been run over by a car, and he's laying there all squashed and squirming, like a toad that's been stepped on....."

(Obviously, I recovered, but apparently it was a long haul; I remember nothing of it.)

Among a multitude of other things, my skull was broken.  I have no idea what they did to piece it back together, but again, obviously, they succeeded.

[tanstaafl]

You know, when I was three and a half years old, I got mauled by a car; being deaf, I had no concept of anything being behind me or on either side of me, only what was right in front of me.

I was mauled, seriously.

As the kid who came running to my older brothers to tell them put it, "[franksolich] has been run over by a car, and he's laying there all squashed and squirming, like a toad that's been stepped on....."

(Obviously, I recovered, but apparently it was a long haul; I remember nothing of it.)

Among a multitude of other things, my skull was broken.  I have no idea what they did to piece it back together, but again, obviously, they succeeded.

The doctors probably just monitor the condition. Toddler bones heal pretty quickly.

When a two year old nephew took a header off the top step all the way to the bottom, he broke his left collar bone. They didn't even put a cast on him. Just strapped his left arm to his side then turned him loose. It was a hoot to watch him try and squirm his arm out of that, like a chicken with a broken wing trying to fly. But he was declared fit as a fiddle in 3 weeks. But my sister-in-law wanted him kept strapped up. Less terrible twos troubles. He could get into anything. ANYTHING!

[franksolich]

The doctors probably just monitor the condition. Toddler bones heal pretty quickly.

Yeah, that's what I was told later on in life, when others described their observations of the event--that broken bones in little kids, if properly set, get back together in pretty short order.

[GOBUCKS]

I wonder if it was kept open to drain, but I have no idea what they'd want it to drain.

In that case, shouldn't he be suspended upside down, like a bat?

Of course, that would risk having his remaining marbles fall out, cascading and scattering all over the room, becoming contaminated with potato chip crumbs and cat hair.

[Chris_]

It won't be considered 'permanent' until the plug goes on (stainless steel for Gov't insurance, titanium for private insurance). So, it might be for ease of reaccess, or there is the possibility of drainage from fluid build-up (what used to be called 'water on the brain').

The 'drain' for hydrocephaly is usually routed into the lower intestine.

It's no fun, but they've gotten better at it.