I'm a long way from making money on the sidewalk playing guitar, and I have a voice that belongs in a choir as long as I sing at a level so as not to be heard over actual singers.
This however is just plain bad. As already covered, the intro sounds like a Nintendo game. The music tone is played too high for his voice, he needs to bring it down at least one octave.
He needs to decide what is playing the rhythm and what is playing melody, it sounds like the guitar and the organ are in competition for it, when either of them hit the mark, wherever that is. Worse it's a slap fight between two boys that just ain't right.
The synthesizer is just plain awful and that entire track should be dumped, it's not recoverable.
Why did he space out all the notes in the guitar? Guitar playing 101 teaches that particular item is a non-starter as it immediately loses the attention of the audience. I'd recommend he put the melody here, as it is plain that he doesn't have goood rhythm technique on the guitar.
The organ is bad as well. It's early, it's late, it's out of sequence, it's out of tune. It's also easier to play rhythm chords on with a metronome and tape on the keys.
About the voice. Taverner quit trying to sound like an Eric Clapton wanna be. There's a million of them and they mostly all suck at it. Your voice isn't trained to any degree, it comes across as flat, which wouldn't be a bad way to play this song come to think of it. You are also off key, even if you had played the music in the right octave. Lastly, the voice track should be at the same level as the rest of the tracks. Instead, it's about 2 dB below where it should be.
That should be about all he needs to do to fix bring it up to merely sub-par.
