First, I want to say to Wineslob that the quote you posted is wonderful. I wonder how old it is.
To the rest of you, thanks again for all of the prayers.
I want to clarify a bit about why I said in one of the posts above that I felt like a heel. I hadn't been at my nephew's every day since this happened. I was over there Friday (the day it happened) and Sunday. There were just so many people there. It was like the family members in need were being smothered. I realize the people that were there had the best of intentions. I also realize that in such a situation having friends and family nearby can be helpful, but I also think that a person needs space to breath and to come to grips with the grief. It's like some people don't know when to step back. I'll give you an example of what I'm speaking about. On Sunday, when the detective and coroner arrived to reveal the autopsy report, my brother went in with them for just a minute. Then he walked out to the porch, grabbed the rail, and held his head down. My wife said that I should go to him. I told her that right now he needed to be left alone. I hand no sooner said that before someone ran toward him. He to wave her off and tell her that he needed some space for a minute.
At the cemetery when I got my brother off by himself I apologized for not being there every day. All the grief that I had been holding in and all the feelings of uselessness kind of exploded, and I broke down. When I got to where i could talk again I explained the concerns that I mentioned above, and he laughed and said I was absolutely right. That he did need some space. He said he also knew of my conspiracy. The conspiracy of which he spoke involved a friend of his that is like family. The friend lives close to him. I had emailed the friend either Friday or Saturday telling him that there was only two people that I trusted to look after my brother's best interests and not be scared by his hardheadedness. One of the people was me. The other was him. The friend viewed this as his mission. After this my brother hugged my neck, told me that he loved me, and that he knew without a doubt that his two lifelines were momma and me which made me feel better.
I will say this. I'm 45 years old (or there abouts). In that time the two most painful things that I can remember in my life happened these last few days. The most painful was hugging my nephew's neck the morning that his baby died and knowing there was nothing that I could do to make the hurt go away. The second most painful was at the end of the funeral in the chapel as I watched my brother walk alone down the aisle carrying his granddaughter's casket to the car for the ride to the cemetery.
On the plus side, my brother and nephew dropped by the house this afternoon and stayed for an hour or so. It was just the three of us in my office, and we were able to laugh and joke for a while.
I also want to say that I'm thankful that this place exists and that I appreciate you guys being patient with my in this thread. I know sometimes on this thread that it probably seems like I'm rambling on, but it's helped me get it out of my system a bit.
Finally, I want to post what I think is one of the best photos of Emma Grace.
