What ? No one is going to bring up Caddyshack ? Don't make me do it.
Forget the moles, do as the people do that live in row houses in the city, put down 3 inches of concrete and paint it green.
Plant a row of flowers or even vegetables around the border, looks interesting. Got pets, just take a garden hose to wash out the leavings. So the kids may be 5-6 years old when they realise what grass really is, benefits are no flees on the pets or kids or ticks, no lawn mowing, or care except for the 18 inch gardens, no surprise snakes, and later a basketball hoop in the yard may pay for a kids education on a grant.
Blew my mind the one family that did this in the city, they left areas 3 feet in diameter free and planted fruit trees here and there and surrounded the trees with seating benches. The owners recouped their cost in 5-6 years as they had the perfect environmental area, no cost for a lawn mower, gas to run it, no worry about storing the mower in an expensive shed or worry of theft from the shed. No cost to seed or fertilize large areas of grass, just perhaps $50.00 every 2 years to spruce up the paint.
We have almost 3/4 acre of useless land that hubby has to spend allot of time mowing, had to buy a $4000 shed to store the ride on mower in, need to seed, fertilize and watch for moles and grubs each year------Phooey, Next home I buy will have all of the above and by golly a sweet life of spending valuable time doing anything but wasting it on a lawn we do not use. Then there is the weather when it is too dry and all that work on the grass turns it a shade of gray, What the heck is grass usefull for but for incects and creepy crawlies to breed in.????