chronically helpless primitive really angry

[zeitgeist]

Not one mention of coupons.  But then again, couponing takes up a bit of time and effort.  DUmmies are too lazy to clip, search deals, and plan shopping trips.

Inflation is very real, but with some good planning and coupons, you can get out of any store for fairly cheap.

I got behind a lady doing the 'coupon' thing at BJ's a couple trips back.  Bear in mind this was the self checkout line which I use as much as possible to speed things up.  LSS, she was trying to negotiate all sorts of home brew coupons and expired stuff so the person who helps at self checkout  was virtually her tied to her as a personal coupon clerk.  

I don't know how much she saved but part of her savings was at the expense of my time.  

Moral of the story:  If you are going to use coupons make sure you actually purchase the item it is for, that it is not expired, if you print it at home you use a decent printer (dot matrix don't cut it for bar code kids ).  Go to a counter that has a clerk and don't waste other people's time who use self checkout for speed.  Ditto if you are buying booze, go to a clerk because they have to verify age.  

/EOR

[Evil_Conservative]

I got behind a lady doing the 'coupon' thing at BJ's a couple trips back.  Bear in mind this was the self checkout line which I use as much as possible to speed things up.  LSS, she was trying to negotiate all sorts of home brew coupons and expired stuff so the person who helps at self checkout  was virtually her tied to her as a personal coupon clerk. 

I don't know how much she saved but part of her savings was at the expense of my time. 

Moral of the story:  If you are going to use coupons make sure you actually purchase the item it is for, that it is not expired, if you print it at home you use a decent printer (dot matrix don't cut it for bar code kids ).  Go to a counter that has a clerk and don't waste other people's time who use self checkout for speed.  Ditto if you are buying booze, go to a clerk because they have to verify age. 

/EOR

Oh, I'm not a crazy who takes hundreds of coupons.  I usually have, at most, twenty coupons.  And I always go to the full service lines.  Those self checkout machines annoy me.  Half the time they don't work, or they start beeping at you and I can never find the customer service person who is suppose to be monitoring the self check out lanes.

[AllosaursRus]

I got behind a lady doing the 'coupon' thing at BJ's a couple trips back.  Bear in mind this was the self checkout line which I use as much as possible to speed things up.  LSS, she was trying to negotiate all sorts of home brew coupons and expired stuff so the person who helps at self checkout  was virtually her tied to her as a personal coupon clerk.  

I don't know how much she saved but part of her savings was at the expense of my time.  

Moral of the story:  If you are going to use coupons make sure you actually purchase the item it is for, that it is not expired, if you print it at home you use a decent printer (dot matrix don't cut it for bar code kids ).  Go to a counter that has a clerk and don't waste other people's time who use self checkout for speed.  Ditto if you are buying booze, go to a clerk because they have to verify age.  

/EOR

I treat grocery stores the same way i do hospitals! I try like hell to stay the hell out!

I haven't had someone ask for my ID for age in 15 years!

Besides, that's women's work!

ducks, runs, changes screens before "Toots" catches me! lol!!!

[Evil_Conservative]

I treat grocery stores the same way i do hospitals! I try like hell to stay the hell out!

I haven't had someone ask for my ID for age in 15 years!

Besides, that's women's work!

ducks, runs, changes screens before "Toots" catches me! lol!!!

And us women enjoy going to the grocery stores... it gets us away from you men.

[Ballygrl]

And us women enjoy going to the grocery stores... it gets us away from you men.

They can be so annoying in the grocery store, do we really need that? yes we do, well we still have a little left at home no idea why we need another 1, umm because we just have a little left at home, now go find your pigs feet and let me shop.

[formerlurker]

My husband loads the cart with nonsense, and then complains when he sees how much it is at the register. "What did we buy?"    Um, what did "we" buy??

He is as bad as my boys.

[formerlurker]

I usually hit the grocery store about 3 times a week because I always forgot something, or we ran out of something, or I have to send something in to school. 

My husband and I just talked about it yesterday how I need to make a list on Monday, and then just get what is on the list because we are spending too much on groceries. 

We'll see how long this lasts. 

[MrsSmith]

I usually hit the grocery store about 3 times a week because I always forgot something, or we ran out of something, or I have to send something in to school. 

My husband and I just talked about it yesterday how I need to make a list on Monday, and then just get what is on the list because we are spending too much on groceries. 

We'll see how long this lasts. 

Sound like yours is pretty similar to mine...it'll last until he's out of snacks.   

[seahorse513]

i just split family packs of certain meats, veggies, pasta, or rice. freeze it, and just take what I need. As far as cat food/litter goes, if a bag is broken, we will send it to claims, the claims guy will tape it up and discounts it quite a bit and we keep it in a cart. I am not sure if other Walmarts do this(ours does). We tape up bags of mulch and potting, graden soil and sell for 50% off per bag. It saves money for our frequent shoppers.

[NHSparky]

My husband loads the cart with nonsense, and then complains when he sees how much it is at the register. "What did we buy?"    Um, what did "we" buy??

He is as bad as my boys.

Tell him to "bachelor" it for a while.  He'll figure it out.  God knows I have.

But by God, I know how to cook.  I can do it cheap, or I can do it expensive, depending on what you want.

Just ask Scoobie about my Pollo Relleno.

[NHSparky]

I usually hit the grocery store about 3 times a week because I always forgot something, or we ran out of something, or I have to send something in to school. 

My husband and I just talked about it yesterday how I need to make a list on Monday, and then just get what is on the list because we are spending too much on groceries. 

We'll see how long this lasts. 

I've gotten into making lunch and dinner menus for a week to 10 days at a time.  Really cuts down on the BS I buy.

[AllosaursRus]

Tell him to "bachelor" it for a while.  He'll figure it out.  God knows I have.

But by God, I know how to cook.  I can do it cheap, or I can do it expensive, depending on what you want.

Just ask Scoobie about my Pollo Relleno.

Heh! I had to 'batch' it when I closed down my printin' business in KS for about 6 months! I lost about 30 pounds! Turns out one cannot exist on just Rib Eyes, baked potatoes ( in the micro, of course ), and Johnny Walker!

Whoda thunk???????

Not sure what I missed about "Toots" the most, sex or cookin'! Naw, I could still eat another Rib Eye and chase it down with Johnny a few more weeks!!!

edited 'cause I'm all thumbs this early!

[Karin]

My husband loads the cart with nonsense

  I hear ya, sister.  I go alone, now.  Plus, there are a lot of empty calories in that nonsense. 

[Evil_Conservative]

I tell my husband if it's not on the list, we're not buying it.  We haven't had store bought cookies, brownies, cakes, etc unless it was for a birthday.  My husband has a sweet tooth, but also doesn't like having nonsense junk food around.  He lost 50 lbs recently and started to muscle up again, so he wants nothing to do with junk food.  lol

[AllosaursRus]

For men who would just as soon stay home when wifey hits the stores, ya might wanna read this!

Subject: FW: Shopping with the wife.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Just let the wife read this, and I'll lay odds they never ask ya to go again!

"Toots" learned a long time ago not to ask me to go! Hehehehehehehehe!!!!

[Ballygrl]

Subject: FW: Shopping with the wife.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

[zeitgeist]

For men who would just as soon stay home when wifey hits the stores, ya might wanna read this!

Just let the wife read this, and I'll lay odds they never ask ya to go again!

"Toots" learned a long time ago not to ask me to go! Hehehehehehehehe!!!!

You just need to learn how to be helpful and know what to look for.

An old guy was in Costco the other day, pushing his shopping cart around,
when he collided with a young guy also pushing a cart.

He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I
guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."


The young guy says, "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.

The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife
look like?"


The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with long blond hair, green
eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and
no bra.  What does your wife look like?"



The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."

Most older men are helpful like that. 

[Ballygrl]

The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."

Most older men are helpful like that.

 

[jukin]

Is hyper-inflation what a Unicorn looks like?

I was promised a Unicorn from Obama.

WAIT!! Huge deficits and inflation is what a Unicorn is.

[Karin]

I was Christmas shopping at Target once.  Out of curiosity, I picked up one those little hand-held vibrators that you rub around on your neck. (Really).  I turned it on, and it was ****ING LOUD.  It would NOT turn off.  I did not know what to do.  I set it down on the aluminum shelving, and that increased the racket TENFOLD.  I placed it in the bin of like items, and that set them all bouncing up and down as well.  I don't know how the story ended, because I got the hell out of the aisle, and pretended I had nothing to do with it. 

Sorry for the threadjack....brought back memories.

[Ballygrl]

I was Christmas shopping at Target once.  Out of curiosity, I picked up one those little hand-held vibrators that you rub around on your neck. (Really).  I turned it on, and it was ****ING LOUD.  It would NOT turn off.  I did not know what to do.  I set it down on the aluminum shelving, and that increased the racket TENFOLD.  I placed it in the bin of like items, and that set them all bouncing up and down as well.  I don't know how the story ended, because I got the hell out of the aisle, and pretended I had nothing to do with it. 

Sorry for the threadjack....brought back memories.

[formerlurker]

I was Christmas shopping at Target once.  Out of curiosity, I picked up one those little hand-held vibrators that you rub around on your neck. (Really).  I turned it on, and it was ****ING LOUD.  It would NOT turn off.  I did not know what to do.  I set it down on the aluminum shelving, and that increased the racket TENFOLD.  I placed it in the bin of like items, and that set them all bouncing up and down as well.  I don't know how the story ended, because I got the hell out of the aisle, and pretended I had nothing to do with it. 

Sorry for the threadjack....brought back memories.

 

[formerlurker]

I've gotten into making lunch and dinner menus for a week to 10 days at a time.  Really cuts down on the BS I buy.

I really need to do that.

[GOBUCKS]

I was Christmas shopping at Target once.  Out of curiosity, I picked up one those little hand-held vibrators that you rub around on your neck. (Really).  I turned it on, and it was ****ING LOUD.  It would NOT turn off.  I did not know what to do.  I set it down on the aluminum shelving, and that increased the racket TENFOLD.  I placed it in the bin of like items, and that set them all bouncing up and down as well.  I don't know how the story ended, because I got the hell out of the aisle, and pretended I had nothing to do with it.  

Sorry for the threadjack....brought back memories.

Hilarious!! And I wonder if one of those was ever actually used on someone's NECK!

[PatriotGame]

I was Christmas shopping at Target once.  Out of curiosity, I picked up one those little hand-held vibrators that you rub around on your neck. (Really).  I turned it on, and it was ****ING LOUD.  It would NOT turn off.  I did not know what to do.  I set it down on the aluminum shelving, and that increased the racket TENFOLD.  I placed it in the bin of like items, and that set them all bouncing up and down as well.  I don't know how the story ended, because I got the hell out of the aisle, and pretended I had nothing to do with it. 

Sorry for the threadjack....brought back memories.

I said the same thing when I got caught!