Author Topic: bad luck reason to feel guilty?  (Read 3116 times)

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Offline franksolich

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bad luck reason to feel guilty?
« on: April 15, 2010, 08:23:04 AM »
I was busy all day yesterday, and the day before, contemplating a great deal about the fickles of fortune.

http://www.norfolkdailynews.com/main.asp?SectionID=3&SubSectionID=104&ArticleID=22685&TM=32194.18

The above news article describes a house fire way out in the country north of Norfolk, Nebraska, that happened on Monday night, in which two children were burned to death.

It was an enormous old house in the midst of a forest, and I myself saw the flames from several miles away to the north and west, but had been told it was "probably" just an old barn.

It was not until later I learned of the fatalities, and that I knew one individual involved--very well; a really good kid--and that the fire had been caused by a carelessly discarded cigarette.

http://www.norfolkdailynews.com/main.asp?SectionID=3&SubSectionID=104&ArticleID=22710&TM=32194.18

The above is a follow-up story, on the reaction of the father of the kid, whom I also know, but not as well as the kid.  But what I do know of him corresponds exactly with the newspaper report; and the woman and her children were better off where they were, than if in a "shelter" for abused women.

The kid was the only one in the household present at the time of the time of the fire, who smokes.

The kid--of course not to mention all others--is overwrought with anxiety and guilt, and I'm sure it's going to affect him the rest of his life.

Damn.

What is the best way to remind a person that being human--negligent and young--and causing a tragedy is different from deliberately and maliciously causing a tragedy?

I am reminded of a story oftentimes told about my father (I myself have no memory of the event); when I was three years old, I was struck by an automobile driven by what was apparently an absent-minded old guy who was drunk at the time, and considerable damage was done me, an utterly busted up and smashed body, and some time passed before it looked as if I was going to make it.

The county attorney and the city police wanted to press charges, when my father, a figure of local and regional prominence stepped in, and said he would not cooperate with such a thing.

It was an accident, he insisted; the old guy had meant no harm.

(This discussion took place when it was still unsure if I was going to make it.)

One should of course feel guilty for some tragedy that has happened, whether on purpose or not, but surely less guilty if it were because of normal and ordinary human error, human fallibility.

Sometimes bad luck just happens.

God forgives all.
Democrats: A bunch of rich people convincing poor people to vote for rich people by telling poor people that other rich people are the reason they are poor

Life is short, and suddenly you're not there any more.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: bad luck reason to feel guilty?
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2010, 11:22:49 AM »
The world is what it is and what it is can only be described as miserable and doomed to utter futility.

The question is: is there something beyond this world that asserts justice, offers grace, provides succor and mends the broken?

If yes, seek it and the fire is dwarfed by this thing

If not, **** it. Fire, disease, decrepit old age, its all the same.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline Chris_

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Re: bad luck reason to feel guilty?
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2010, 03:04:49 PM »
Well.....I can certainly empathize with what he and his family are feeling......

My best friend who lives in a small town out in the middle of the state (my hometown) has a son, that I've known since he was born.......the son works for a company called Ashblund (sp?) which is an outfit  that contracts to trim trees away from the power lines in rural areas around the state......he was driving down a gravel road in a large trimming truck, when a front tire failed, and he lost control of the truck, which ran into the ditch where a man was mowing on a riding lawnmower......the 20-ton truck killed the man instantly, and reduced the lawn tractor to scrap metal.........

The son still bears the scars of that day, and probably always will, but in retrospect, one must come to grips with the fact that sometimes......shit happens.......and there is little to nothing that we can do about it......

doc
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Offline debk

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Re: bad luck reason to feel guilty?
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2010, 03:31:01 PM »
I, too, can empathize.

I was on a car trip with my parents, I switched seats with my mother.....45 minutes later, a man, heading in the opposite direction...had a heart attack, came across the median, hit us head on, and my mother was killed.

Even knowing it was a pure and total accident....doesn't stop the guilt.

I hope there are some very responsible adults in this child's life who will make sure he not only gets counselling....but that he gets good counselling.

There is a huge difference between adequate and good.
Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.