Author Topic: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt  (Read 5665 times)

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Offline franksolich

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Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« on: January 25, 2010, 08:51:59 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x74271

Oh my.

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EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jan-24-10 07:29 PM
#03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Original message

I put out two sticks of butter to get to room temp 5 hours ago for some pie crust and I think they're harder now than they were this morning. Sheesh, I'm like a totally spoiled CA girl that expects room temperature to be warmer than the frig.

Last night I put together some baked chicken with basil, some mild red beans and this red rice. If you like red rice, you'll like this recipe from Mark Miller aka, the Coyote Cafe guy. It's not squishy and the seasoning is perfect:

1 large garlic clove, minced
1/2 c onion, minced
4 T butter
2 C long grain rice
4 1/2 C water
1 t each ground cumin seed and Mexican Oregano
1 T minced fresh marjoram (I usually sub dried and it's fine
1 1/2 t salt
1/3 cup medium to hot chile powder (no, that's not a typo)

1. Saute onion and garlic in butter for 6-8 minutes -- until soft.
2. Add remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Boil for 2 minutes.
3. Reduce heat to lowest setting, cover and simmer for 20-25 minutes.
4. The color is great and you can eat it right out of the 'frig with a fork.

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Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jan-24-10 07:42 PM
#09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
 
1. I remember explaining to people back east that yes, the NM recipes I was sending them used chile powder by the half cup, that red sauces out here were all chile based and not tomato based, that tomatoes don't grow well out here because of the aridity.

I started to use chile to make red rice back in Boston, got everybody hooked on it, then I left. I'm now sending care packages back there.

Real chile powder isn't the stuff you get in those little bottles in the supermarket that go into recipes that daringly call for a teaspoon of it. Real chile powder is dried and ground red chiles, medium being chile only and hot having the seeds ground with it. Once you've had the real thing, you'll never be able to look at those little bottles in the supermarket with anything but a sneer.

You can order the real thing online if you live outside the southwest.

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EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jan-24-10 07:45 PM
#03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #1

2. Miller put together a resource list for ingredients in one of his books but I don't have them any more. I used to drive from Berkeley out to Oakland to get chipotles.

Living here in the heart of Hispanic East San Jose, I don't have that problem any more. It's a chile freak's heaven.

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Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 12:15 PM
#09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #2

4. Culture shock from Boston to NM

Bread was Wonder Bread. Pasta was spaghetti or macaroni. However, there was one aisle devoted to tortillas and another devoted to various dried chiles plus a huge section of the produce counter devoted to fresh chiles.

Then there were the green chile bagels. Oy. Well, they're not bagels, they're soft rolls with a hole in the middle, but the green chile variety is remarkably good with cream cheese.

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EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 01:41 PM
#03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #4

7. Oh, I hear you. There is one supermarket here, Su Vianda that has no sugarless anything and a huge meat section. But it also has all my beloved chiles and other goodies we haven't even tried yet. It's definitely Mexican, you might as well be in Mexico. My mom went to ask what kind of cheese to use in a Salvadoran sweet bread and nobody knew. All the employees are Chicanos and it's pretty rare to hear English there unless you start the conversation in English.

What is "no sugarless anything"? 

Does that mean the grocery store's stocked with sugar-laden chow?

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Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 02:14 PM
#09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #7

9. I'm a five minute walk from a Mexican supermarket and a 20 minute walk from an international supermarket. There's a reason I live in the "bad" part of town, it's really the most interesting and the most convenient part of town.

One suspects there's more than one reason the defrocked warped primitive lives on the "bad part of town."

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greenbird  (277 posts)      Mon Jan-25-10 05:24 AM
Response to Original message
 
3. I know what you mean about the butter.

I'm a Southern California girl now living in Western New York. My kitchen is like a refrigerator. I can leave anything out and it'll be OK the next morning. Ah, well!

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EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 01:45 PM
#03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #3

8. I think for me it's genetic. My family is from Central America [sic].

I went to Texas horse country in late July and were perfectly comfortable. When we went to NOLA in July, I had this strange feeling of homecoming. I don't think I belong this far north. It's like having an environmental handicap. lol

These storms have been really intense. The hills are greening and the wildflowers will be wonderful in May. I hope we don't freeze to death before then.

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hippywife  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 12:37 PM
MRS. ALFRED PACKER
Response to Original message

5. As often as I bake you would think I would remember to take the butter out of the fridge ahead of time, but noooooooo!

I've just given up and now soften it in my microwave on defrost.

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EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 01:35 PM
#03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #5

6. Any butter that I put in the microwave only comes out fit for popcorn.

To be fair to the oven, my brother got me a new one for Christmas and we're still dating.

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grasswire  (1000+ posts)      Mon Jan-25-10 02:34 PM
THE WISCONSINITE FARMERETTE
Response to Reply #6

10.  you're dating your brother?

is that what you meant to say?

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EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 02:49 PM
#03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #10

11. I'm still dating the microwave. It's funny because these ovens all seem to come with their own secret code and you need a period of initiation before they give it up.

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hippywife  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 07:52 PM
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Response to Reply #6

12. Well, when your honeymoon period is over you can give it a try. It really does take some watching, even as often as I end up doing it.

I turn my microwave on defrost, set my butter on the turntable with one of the short ends of the stick facing me and let it rotate once until it comes back in the same position. I then turn it over once on the next long side (with the same short end facing me) and let it rotate around on defrost again. I do this until each of the long sides have been flat on the turntable surface for one rotation each. Sometimes, it only takes three rotations. Does that make sense? It's hard to describe.

Like I said, you just have to watch it.

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DU AdBot (1000+ posts)      Mon Jan 25th 2010, 09:36 PM
#06 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

How I Get Free Butter

Thanks to this website, I never have to pay
for butter anymore
apres moi, le deluge

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2010, 08:59:56 PM »
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I'm like a totally spoiled CA girl that expects room temperature to be warmer than the frig
I doubt a "frig" involving Doug's stupid ex-wife would be very warm.

Offline Carl

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2010, 09:02:46 PM »
Good Lord they are pathetic.

I am a guy with no "cooking" training and I can manage to figure this stuff out. :whatever:

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2010, 09:20:59 PM »
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Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jan-25-10 02:14 PM
#09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009; DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Response to Reply #7

9. I'm a five minute walk from a Mexican supermarket and a 20 minute walk from an international supermarket. There's a reason I live in the "bad" part of town, it's really the most interesting and the most convenient part of town.

You are the reason its a bad part of town. Interesting? I remember a Chinese proverb about "interesting times"... oh wait, that was a curse.

Offline franksolich

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2010, 09:38:29 PM »
You are the reason its a bad part of town.

Out here in the lonely Sandhills of Nebraska, there's a small town near the big city, wherein lives a young woman, circa 25 years old, of considerable heft.

For spending money, she does it with Hispanic guys.

She's average height for a woman--although above average in the girth department--but for some really odd peculiar reason, she does it only with short Hispanic guys, like those under 4'10" tall.

I have no idea why; I'm just describing what I see.
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Offline Chris

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2010, 09:43:40 PM »
"spending money"? :lmao:

I have met more than enough $20 whores, and I have to wonder how many men they would have to service to accumulate whatever counts as "spending money".  Most of them were crackheads that would smoke whatever money they made and move on to the next paying customer.  BTW, you don't have to live in a bad part of town to find them.  I lived across the street from North Carolina State U. and they were all over the place.
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

Offline Spirit of Ronald Reagan

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2010, 09:57:20 PM »
BTW, you don't have to live in a bad part of town to find them.  I lived across the street from North Carolina State U. and they were all over the place.
Wow, how do they mange to get around all that construction down there?  There's more if you take a trek downtown to MLK Blvd and keep heading towards Garner Rd.  Used to work over there and they'd always hit up a few of the places with 3rd shifts during "lunch" break.  I'm sure Wilmington St has it's share of night street vendors as well. 

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2010, 10:19:29 PM »
"spending money"? :lmao:

I have met more than enough $20 whores

Dang, just to pay the rent would be ... wow.

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2010, 10:25:51 PM »
Out here in the lonely Sandhills of Nebraska, there's a small town near the big city, wherein lives a young woman, circa 25 years old, of considerable heft.

For spending money, she does it with Hispanic guys.

She's average height for a woman--although above average in the girth department--but for some really odd peculiar reason, she does it only with short Hispanic guys, like those under 4'10" tall.

I have no idea why; I'm just describing what I see.
http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=11859827

Offline dutch508

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2010, 10:35:18 PM »
Out here in the lonely Sandhills of Nebraska, there's a small town near the big city, wherein lives a young woman, circa 25 years old, of considerable heft.

For spending money, she does it with Hispanic guys.

She's average height for a woman--although above average in the girth department--but for some really odd peculiar reason, she does it only with short Hispanic guys, like those under 4'10" tall.

I have no idea why; I'm just describing what I see.

Thanks, Frank. How in the hell am I supposed to sleep now?
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Offline Spirit of Ronald Reagan

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2010, 10:37:48 PM »
Thanks, Frank. How in the hell am I supposed to sleep now?
Try to drink it out of your mind.  Just be careful flipping through the TV channels that you don't accidentally stop on telemundo. 

Offline dutch508

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2010, 10:46:04 PM »
Try to drink it out of your mind.  Just be careful flipping through the TV channels that you don't accidentally stop on telemundo. 

Well, here I go....Vodka and Chinese porn...

wish me luck.
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2010, 10:47:43 PM »
Well, here I go....Vodka and Chinese porn...

wish me luck.

disabled porn?

Offline NHSparky

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2010, 10:49:00 PM »
disabled porn?

midget porn...sort of.
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Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2010, 10:51:12 PM »
Hmmm. No thunder clappin' in Chinese porn though...

Offline Aaron Burr

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2010, 10:58:43 PM »
Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that everyone went to go look that up?
« Last Edit: January 25, 2010, 11:01:24 PM by Aaron Burr »

Offline Oceander

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2010, 11:05:52 PM »
Quote
I started to use chile to make red rice back in Boston, got everybody hooked on it, then I left. I'm now sending care packages back there.

Oh yeah, I remember the great Boston chile revolt - oh, wait, no I don't.  Just like a liberal, always gotta be the center of attention, and the prime mover and shaker.  I think, idiot, that the reason your acquaintances in Boston (let's be honest here, you're a liberal, so no-one's really gonna be your friend) kept accepting your chile concoctions was not out of a sense of taste, but rather out of a sense of sympathy, for your pathetic self.  Just the same way you keep lying to your spinster aunt about what you really do with that hideous fruit-cake she sends you each Christmas.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2010, 11:07:43 PM by Oceander »

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2010, 11:14:35 PM »
midget porn...sort of.

No.. it was a joke I saw on some thread. Can't imagine why no one had replied. lol.

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2010, 08:35:34 AM »
Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that everyone went to go look that up?

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Offline IassaFTots

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R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

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Offline Karin

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #21 on: January 26, 2010, 09:34:49 AM »
Oh that's funny, I didn't know what the hell you guys were talking about.

Warpy sends cooked rice dishes through the US Mails?  Seriously?  I recently received business correspondence that had taken a month to get here.  Ever smell rotten rice?  Pretty foul. 

Offline delilahmused

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #22 on: January 26, 2010, 11:05:33 AM »
What kind of pie crust uses room temperature butter? The colder the ingredients (including the flour) the flakier the crust.

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Offline Spirit of Ronald Reagan

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #23 on: January 26, 2010, 11:12:44 AM »
What kind of pie crust uses room temperature butter? The colder the ingredients (including the flour) the flakier the crust.

Cindie
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: Doug's ex-wife can't get butter to melt
« Reply #24 on: January 26, 2010, 12:21:17 PM »
Out here in the lonely Sandhills of Nebraska, there's a small town near the big city, wherein lives a young woman, circa 25 years old, of considerable heft.

For spending money, she does it with Hispanic guys.

She's average height for a woman--although above average in the girth department--but for some really odd peculiar reason, she does it only with short Hispanic guys, like those under 4'10" tall.

I have no idea why; I'm just describing what I see.

Gee thanx, Coach! Just what I needed to know!!!!!
« Last Edit: January 26, 2010, 12:25:30 PM by AllosaursRus »
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