Author Topic: A new scientific element is discovered  (Read 1380 times)

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Offline 5412

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A new scientific element is discovered
« on: April 30, 2009, 08:37:00 AM »
 



 
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of
a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium.  Governmentium (Gv) has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second to take more than four days to
complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.  It does not decay,
but instead under goes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium...an element that saps just as much energy as
Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


 

 

 

 

Offline VelvetElvis

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Re: A new scientific element is discovered
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2009, 08:39:40 AM »
Unfortunately, this element is not new.

Even more distressing, it is increasing in abundance at a geometric rate.
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Offline 5412

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Re: A new scientific element is discovered
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2009, 08:42:21 AM »
Hi all,

Decided to add this part on my own.

Scientists are now learning that when the catalyst, which is a combination of Obamium and Phewlosium are combined and introduced, it causes Governmentium to react aggressively and bite the hand that feeds it, whereas it is much more vulnerable to outisde attacks as it reduces it's defensive immune system, they term the scientists used is chickenshitium.....

regards,
5412