How would you respond to this beauty? Talk about bullshit...sheesh...

[Texacon]

Blue_Roses  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)
Tue Feb-05-08 09:55 AM
Original message

How would you respond to this beauty? Talk about bullshit...sheesh...
   
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2819974

I got this in my email from an in-law. They thought it was hilarious and decided to send it to me for a laugh. I'm not laughing. In fact, after the email I sent, I'm sure they aren't either. Who comes up with this shit?



A Condensed Version of History

For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a condensed
version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/
gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would
go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,
so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal
movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the
Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to
divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists
are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the
Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for
nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.......

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more
liberals...just to piss them off.

Have a great day!



--------------------

and yes, I DID respond.

Ya think it hit a nerve?!        

KC

[franksolich]

Man, the primitives as usual are w-a-a-a-a-a-y behind the times.

That e-mail is like, about as old as the hills.

[BEG]

HA HA That is the first time I've seen that.  I'm going to fwd it......   Thanks Blue_Roses!   

[Texacon]

Man, the primitives as usual are w-a-a-a-a-a-y behind the times.

That e-mail is like, about as old as the hills.

Yeah, I had seen it before too Frank but I never thought about it offending someone.  Really, it's a joke get over it.  Hey, I read red neck jokes without being offended!   

KC

[jtyangel]

HA HA That is the first time I've seen that.  I'm going to fwd it......   Thanks Blue_Roses!   

Same here..lol...going to tick off some old friends and make a couple others laugh their butts off.

[Chris_]

"That there's funnnnny.  I don't care who ya are."  [/Larry-the-Cable-Guy mode]
 

[Lord Undies]

I first saw that piece hanging on a wall in restaurant/sports bar.  It was set with some photographic evidence of it's truth.  It was a hoot!

What is the most humorous aspect of such writing is that liberals don't get angry because it is a lie.  Liberals get angry because it is true and revealing.  Nothing pisses off a liberal more than the audacity of some people to point out the ugly truth about liberalism.  No one should ever speak ill of liberalism, according to liberals, because to do so is the ultimate in social inequity due to liberalism being indefensible.

[Texacon]

HA HA That is the first time I've seen that.  I'm going to fwd it......   Thanks Blue_Roses!   

Blue_Roses?!  Blue_Roses?!  But but but ..... I'M the one that brought it over for you darlin'.    

 

KC

[Texacon]

I first saw that piece hanging on a wall in restaurant/sports bar.  It was set with some photographic evidence of it's truth.  It was a hoot!

What is the most humorous aspect of such writing is that liberals don't get angry because it is a lie.  Liberals get angry because it is true and revealing. Nothing pisses off a liberal more than the audacity of some people to point out the ugly truth about liberalism.  No one should ever speak ill of liberalism, according to liberals, because to do so is the ultimate in social inequity due to liberalism being indefensible.

Ahhh you couldn't be more on the mark!

Blue_Roses  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)

Tue Feb-05-08 10:07 AM
Response to Reply #4

9. I sent out a blanketed reply
   
Edited on Tue Feb-05-08 10:08 AM by Blue_Roses
This particular in-law works for the church and is always throwing up scripture to "support" his conservative views. I just took his lead...

_____________________________

My reply:

Just a quick note about this email to all who think it’s “funny”. Some thoughts came racing to my mind as I read through it. For starters:

Matthew 5-9 Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God...

Matthew 5-44 But I say unto you, Love you enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you, and persecute you...

And my all time favorite:

Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord they God with all they heart and with all they soul and with all they mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

While I’m sure this email is meant to poke and prod fun at those that you disagree with politically (cause let’s be real—that’s what this is really all about) comments made out of context (or I’m HOPING it’s out of context) like these are really offensive to me and others who do care about the well-being of others:


Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girlie-men. Wow. Talk about judgmental.

And this one is especially offensive, since my BA degree is in SOCIAL WORK:



Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers...

You obviously haven’t seen some of the beautiful “less testosterone” friendly social workers that I’ve worked with in the past.

And let’s not forget this beauty:

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it. A conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more
liberals...just to piss them off.

While I’ve never considered myself to be “liberal” or “conservative” I have considered myself as one who cares. That’s why I got a degree in Social Work and have worked as a case worker for children and the elderly, helping them to have a better quality of life when no else seemed to care. If that classifies me as a “liberal” then so be. I think Jesus would fall into that category too and believe me, I’m in awesome company if I fall into his category. I could never see Jesus making such crude, mean-spirited remarks about those have tried to follow his lead with love and kindness. So while yes, I am responding, but not because of anger, but because somewhere down the line someone got seriously side-tracked from how the true Christian character shines...and it isn’t through berating and judging.

Have a blessed and wonderful day!

Never the once a denial.   

KC

[Lord Undies]

Never the once a denial.   

KC

No, you won't ever find a tangible denial.  One does not exist. 

Then we have The Bible references, as if the Bible tells us to be wet noodles in order to be closer to God.  That doesn't quite represent the Bible I read nor the Lord Jesus Christ I know.  The liberal Bible scholars never seem to realize the Bible speaks of the "peacemakers" as those willing to destroy the peace-killing evil around them.  Sometimes it takes a war to achieve peace.  The Bible explains this in many ways. 

[jukin]

I love it when liberals prove the point of that letter even better than the letter does.

Gifted and talented strike again. LOL

[Chris_]

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Well, I married a cowboy and raised a Marine! Damn I'm good!

Cindie

[Chris_]

Anyone catch this from the compassionate, open minded and progressive liberals?

originalpckelly  (1000+ posts) Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Tue Feb-05-08 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
7. Yeah, and we all know worshipping a half-naked dude on a cross isn't gay at all.

What a piece of garbage.