In other news, two people including a police officer were killed and a third wounded in an armed robbery of a liquor store in Podunk, Idaho today, bringing declarations from local liberal leaders that the War On Crime has been lost and renewing calls for immediate withdrawal of all law enforcement officers from the region.
"Police have absolutely no business asserting authority in a place where they're obviously not wanted", stated Ima Jerkoff, president of the Idaho Coalition Of Wilting Angst-Ridden Demonstrators (C.O.W.A.R.D.). "Governor Bumblebee's surge in uniformed police has not eliminated violent crime and police officers are killed across this country every day. It's time we gave up on this unwinnable war and sent the cops home. An occasional rape, murder or home invasion is a small price to pay to stop this sensless violence brought about by their presence."
C.O.W.A.R.D. has asserted in the past that the only reason for law enforcement's existence is so that Ford can sell more Crown Victorias and Glock has a steady demand for its "black metal death machines".
"We're confident that once the police are gone, carjackers and other patriotic, freedom-loving criminals will go back to their humble, peaceable ways of life as Amway salesmen and telemarketers", Jerkoff went on to say. "besides, they've hardly been greeted with 'candy and flowers', have they?"
C.O.W.A.R.D. has in the past picketed meetings of the American Medical Association, voicing similar demands to end the War On Cancer, citing the continued incidence of melanoma and Hodgkin's Disease as proof of its folly.
"By the way, don't forget to vote for Ron Paul in November!", Mr. Jerkoff added.
