WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats criticized Secretary of War Pete Hegseth for giving frontline U.S. soldiers a nice meal when that money could have gone to fund Somali daycare centers in Minnesota.
"I condemn these expenditures in the strongest of terms," Senator Chuck Schumer told members of the press. "There are literally millions of children in Minneapolis who need this money to be able to attend Somali daycare. It is absolutely disgusting to instead use it to give our soldiers a steak."
New financial records reveal Hegseth spent millions on food for troops serving in combat zones, and yet did not send a single penny from the Department of War to fund any "Learing Centers".
"Yeah, we're the Department of War. We don't fund daycare centers. It's really not our thing" explained Hegseth. "I just wanted to do something nice for the soldiers."
Democrats, however, were unimpressed with Hegseth's defense. "This is classic fascism," said Schumer. "Giving soldiers things to eat is fascism 101. I will never rest until I bring down this corrupt administration that is wasting taxpayer money that could have gone to the Minneapolis 'Chilrens Scool Hous".
At publishing time, Democrats had uncovered a devastating new report that Secretary Hegseth had also provided frontline soldiers with a small dessert.
Hegseth BEE feeding the troops too much good food
