Chicago Mayor blames July 4th, 2024 weekend violence on....Richard Nixon

[Ralph Wiggum]

In Other News...Chicago Mayor Blames Chicago Shootings on Richard Nixon

Richard Nixon did it.

That is the story that Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson is telling, and he is sticking to it.

Richard Milhouse Nixon.

Don't believe me? I wouldn't if I were you, so don't feel bad. It is like a Babylon Bee headline come to life. Except these days Babylon Bee headlines become reality almost daily.

Brandon Johnson is the leading member of the "root causes" school of crime excuses, and his press conference yesterday on the crime wave Chicago is experiencing was a master class in blaming racists for the crimes that Black young men are committing against other Blacks.

Shootings are totally out of control, and Kimberly Foxx, the Cook County Attorney, refuses to prosecute gun possession charges because the criminals are disproportionately Black. Johnson believes that the solution to crime is some form of socialist-style social work and blaming Whites for what Black kids are doing.

But blaming Richard Nixon is a new low.

The police superintendent offered a more practical solution: lock up the criminals, which sounds too Nixonesque for Johnson. Reparations are more his speed, I suppose.

https://hotair.com/david-strom/2024/07/09/in-other-newschicago-mayor-blames-chicago-shootings-on-richard-nixon-n3791547

[Old n Grumpy]

I heard on the radio there were 109 shot and 19 dead. If you figure it was a long weekend I guess it’s not so bad 

[Muddling 2]

I thought we didn't have Richard Nixon to kick around anymore.............

 

[Ralph Wiggum]

In related BEE-witching news:

Chicago Mayor Blames Spike In Violence On 9th Century Chinese Monks Who Invented Gunpowder



CHICAGO, IL — In response to the shooting deaths of over 100 Chicago residents over the weekend, Mayor Brandon Johnson blamed the killings on the Chinese monks who invented gunpowder in the late 9th century.

"Those dastardly Chinese monks!" cried Johnson to members of the press. "They've sabotaged me again!"

Johnson went on to explain how the city of Chicago would be a veritable paradise if not for the Chinese monks who so foolishly attempted to create a life-extending elixir. "Now, look what they did," said Johnson as videos of the shootings circulated. "Why, China? Why?"

City officials say they are working to undo the damage done by China, but are working against hundreds of years of Chinese subterfuge. "The sneaky Chinese have been working for literally a millennia to cause mayhem in Chicago," explained city councilman Roger Stark. "We are doing everything possible to undo the invention of the Chinese, but it's proving harder than expected. Oh, they're clever, those monks!"

At publishing time, Johnson had admitted that others shared the blame beyond 9th century Chinese, including Confucius, the signers of the Treaty of Versailles, Millard Filmore, Taylor Swift, and Ghandi.