Author Topic: Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army  (Read 357 times)

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Offline Eupher

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Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army
« on: August 11, 2022, 06:10:13 AM »
Tell me this isn't KGB-level intimidation, especially the business about "Carry a firearm and be willing to use deadly force, if necessary" and "Be willing and able to participate in arrests, execution of search warrants, and other dangerous assignments."

https://www.jobs.irs.gov/resources/job-descriptions/irs-criminal-investigation-special-agent
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2022, 04:47:37 PM »
I'll relate my somewhat relevant experience from being recruited by potential employers during my senior year of college for soon to be Accounting and Finance grads. This was almost 30 years ago, so take it with a grain of salt.

The "Big 8" (as they were known then) accounting firms were the most aggressive in recruiting potential graduates, as were major corporations in the area and state. Many of my fellow classmates were more interested in joining private industry rather than be an auditor for a massive CPA firm, which was my path. The IRS was also recruiting accounting grads, but no virtually no one wanted to work for them. The pay was nowhere what private industry does and probably still isn't.

While some of the accountants I've know through the years might own firearms, the overwhelming majority aren't the pistol packing type. And carrying a firearm isn't really a perk for the gig that would entice college grads or even seasoned professionals.

My personal suspicion is this isn't really going to be a massive hiring spree of tax auditors, but more of a compliance bureau by these new asinine ESG and DEI regulations that big companies are starting to follow.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2022, 11:36:42 AM »
And the Bee strikes again -  :rotf:

Quote
President Biden just solved the economy by creating thousands of IRS jobs! We know you've always dreamed of working for the IRS, but do you have what it takes?

Here are the job requirements in case you're interested:

*Must be a U.S. citizen
*Minimum education: Bachelor of Science degree in Accounting
*5 years of Krav Maga martial arts experience
*Maintain a level of fitness necessary to perform a chokehold until a tax delinquent is subdued and/or dead
*Must derive pleasure from human suffering
*Comfortable with firing squad-style executions
*Unable to think for yourself
*Ability to use force lightning preferred but not required
*Cheered for Agent Smith in The Matrix
*Must hate children
*Proficiency in ignoring people who tell you to mind your own business
*Passionate about auditing Etsy moms selling crafts just trying to make ends meet
*Fluent in German, goose-stepping experience is a plus
*Comfortable with firing RPGs at the homes of conservative activists with tax "discrepancies"
*Previous waterboarding experience
*Pass a psychological exam to determine if you sympathize with the government while watching Jason Bourne movies
*Looking for the type that shoots first and does the math later

If you meet all these requirements, apply today and make all your dreams come true!

https://babylonbee.com/news/want-to-be-one-of-the-new-irs-agents-here-are-the-17-job-requirements
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Zathras

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Re: Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2022, 11:13:39 PM »
Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf

If racist dog whistles are meant to be only heard by racists, then it is quite interesting how progressives seem to be the only people who can hear them. - Leonydus Johnson

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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2022, 12:38:28 AM »


I got $5 that says they wear those helmets because they're compensating for ...something.
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Offline Old n Grumpy

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Re: Here's the Job Description for SharterJoe's New IRS Army
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2022, 06:35:01 AM »
Life is tough and it’s even tougher when you’re stupid

Basking in the glow of my white Privilege, while I water the Begonias with liberal tears!

I will give up my guns when the liberals give up their illegal aliens

We need a Bull Shit tax to make the Democrats go broke!