New LGBTQ+ Superman Will Be Crippled By Anyone Using Wrong Pronouns

[Ralph Wiggum]

Instead Of Kryptonite, New LGBTQ+ Superman Will Be Crippled By Anyone Using Wrong Pronouns

The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns.

"I'll finally defeat Superman! He's such a liberal snowflake!" says right-wing transphobe Lex Luthor to reporters in the latest issue.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cries gay Superman in response as he withers to the ground in shrieks of agony. "I'm non-binary! It should be 'THEY is such a snowflake!' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Writers confirmed that gay Superman will gay-save the world and gay-stop hate crimes with his gay superpowers. He will be completely impervious to Kryptonite but will be powerless against right-wing talk show hosts and trans-exclusionary radical feminist authors. First and foremost, he will be very, very gay.

"We are so proud to break new ground with this stunning, brave, totally expected, and culturally fashionable change to the Superman character," said writer Tom Taylor. "We look forward to selling dozens and dozens of copies."

Bee Bee Bee Bee

[Mr Mannn]

[enslaved1]

Hopefully we look back at stuff like this in comics the same way we look back cheesy 60s-70s era comic book story lines.  Like Batman wearing a rainbow suit to distract from Robin's arm being in a sling, which might lead people to Robin's secret identity. 

At least DC isn't retconning Superman, instead introducing a successor to the name who carries all this woke baggage.  New characters can be disappeared the next time the universe is rebooted. 

[Ralph Wiggum]

Hopefully we look back at stuff like this in comics the same way we look back cheesy 60s-70s era comic book story lines.  Like Batman wearing a rainbow suit to distract from Robin's arm being in a sling, which might lead people to Robin's secret identity. 

At least DC isn't retconning Superman, instead introducing a successor to the name who carries all this woke baggage.  New characters can be disappeared the next time the universe is rebooted.

Assuming you've heard of the SNL animated sketch "The Ambiguously Gay Duo".  Featured animated characters Ace and Gary, who were, yep, ambiguously gay (as voiced by Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert).  It was certainly a take-off on the campy last 60's Batman TV series.  By the woke standards anymore, that could probably should be banned.

[enslaved1]

Assuming you've heard of the SNL animated sketch "The Ambiguously Gay Duo".  Featured animated characters Ace and Gary, who were, yep, ambiguously gay (as voiced by Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert).  It was certainly a take-off on the campy last 60's Batman TV series.  By the woke standards anymore, that could probably should be banned.

Yup, remember a couple of those.  I'll see your Ambiguously Gay Duo and raise you In Living Color's Handiman, another skit that would cause conniptions amongst the woke.    

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkQQGsOegv0

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Keep in mind: the ORIGINAL Superman was a metaphor for God - ultimate power that does the right thing for the sake of right. It is inseparable from his essential being.

That's why his given name is Kal-EL. "El" is a Hebrew name for God.

The creators of Superman were Jewish.

Lefty isn't trying to tear down a character in comic books. Lefty is trying to tear down God.