primitive posted something she shouldn't have; regrets it

[franksolich]

https://upload.democraticunderground.com/11517506

Oh my.

<<<pretty sure this one's a mole, mocking the primitives.

get the red out (11,866 posts)     Wed Sep 13, 2017, 08:35 AM

I deserve to die

I won't kill myself because my dogs need me, but I sure do deserve to die. I have a psych appointment tomorrow, been coming off one med, was put on another that promptly sent me to the emergency room with side effects, can't take that, posted something on FB I shouldn't have, and for that I DESERVE TO DIE. I am not even worthy of being called human, I am a thing that needs to be eradicated like a nasty roach in the house.

I deserve to die

I won't kill myself because my dogs need me, but I sure do deserve to die. I have a psych appointment tomorrow, been coming off one med, was put on another that promptly sent me to the emergency room with side effects, can't take that, posted something on FB I shouldn't have, and for that I DESERVE TO DIE. I am not even worthy of being called human, I am a thing that needs to be eradicated like a nasty roach in the house.

get the red out (11,866 posts)    Wed Sep 13, 2017, 08:45 AM

2. Thank you

I can't deal right now, I have upset someone I didn't want to have a bad opinion of me. This is kind of a last straw right now. I wish I had killed myself when I was young and not had to live through so damn much and gotten kicked down at every turn, made a fool of myself at every turn.

People like me ought to be found as children and put down for their own good like a puppy with a horrible genetic disease. If they had put me down as a defective kid, I wouldn't have had to suffer or make others around me suffer. I am the kind of thing no one wants in the room with them.

I am the kind of thing my parents shouldn't have had to deal with, I am a THING that my poor husband and dogs shouldn't be forced to put up with. The kind of THING that other kids knew was "off" instinctively, and tried their best to make go away and kill itself off in order to protect the social order.

A THING that no college should have admitted on their campus, whose graduation makes the University of Kentucky really look stupid for letting it in to begin with. I am a THING that someone should come into my office and shoot right now for the betterment of the world. I am a creature who should die and have lines of people spitting on its grave day and night for weeks in efforts to achieve some justice in humiliating it in death.

get the red out (11,866 posts)      Wed Sep 13, 2017, 10:14 AM

17. Home and feel safe now

At least feeling safe is something. My husband is here with me and is helping me. I will see my Dr tomorrow morning and my therapist next week. I have called multiple times trying to get in to see them earlier but nothing available.

I haven't had the ability to feel any good feelings during the last year or more of the 7 years I have been on Effexor. At least this new Doc I saw for the first time a couple of weeks ago concurred 100% that I needed a medicine change. I have been weaning myself off the Effexor and started feeling pleasure again in some of my favorite things to do.

Then I went into anger yesterday and the bottom dropped out this morning. I will be home with my husband and feel "safe" here. The young dog is having allergy issues today and I know when to give him his prescription meds for it.

I am NOT well by a long shot but my husband is helping me. If I was going through this alone I don't know what I would do. I still feel like I an awful person, by I have for the vast majority of my life. And it is something that is true.

get the red out (11,866 posts)      Wed Sep 13, 2017, 05:15 PM

22. Managed to nap

Took some melatonin and managed to take a nap. I still despise myself but am trying to keep going. My husband had to go out for a while but the dogs are here.

I can knit again. I was so dead on Effexor I couldn't get pleasure from hobbies or anything. Effexor was an evil drug for me, it took all joy away then stopped treating the depression.

I will see the Psychiatrist tomorrow morning. My insurance only covers seeing a resident Psychiatrist at the University who is overseen by an attending. This is ok, since I have loved every resident I have had, but I need to tell the attending that I am not going to throw away my life because they guilt trip me when I complain about how I feel on a medication.

I should have been off this stuff a year ago but it was implied that I just needed to work harder in therapy. The attending may need for me to express that, even though confrontation terrifies me.

Thanks for asking how I am doing. I married a good man and I have a terrific boss at work, so I am still breathing.

Yeah, that's gotta be a mole, taking advantage of the credulity of the primitives.

[Carl]

Your dogs will not only be fine but will be happpier.

[franksolich]

Your dogs will not only be fine but will be happpier.

I'm sure that's a fake.

<<<am willing to bank on it.

[DumbAss Tanker]

 

[USA4ME]

I suddenly have the urge to deliver Effexor to every liberal on the planet.

.

[USA4ME]

BigmanPigman

12. Stay around, at least for your dogs' sake.

Many people have said the same thing as you. Right now your dogs are your best medicine. I am going to die fairly soon (illness) but I will not die and leave my little girl who is 14 and very sensitive and attached to me an orphan. I am grateful that we will both go at around the same time or else we would both be miserable without each other.

This primitive is going to die soon, has a 14 year old "little girl", and "I am grateful that we will both go at around the same time..." What is this, some type of sick one-sided suicide pact?

.

[Bad Dog]

These are the morons who believe they can run this once great country better than us deplorables.

[Skul]

Is this the neck-beards sock? Jeez DUde, howz about picking up the
pace a bit. I have some other shit  to do. (Cat needs a bath.)   
Is there anything I can do to help speed things along?  (Cat's really dirty.)
Wanda ya need?  Rope? Knife sharpener? Razor blades? Ammo?  Pills?  Booze? Auto/truck/train accident? Home invasion?  Be decisive.     

[thundley4]

This primitive is going to die soon, has a 14 year old "little girl", and "I am grateful that we will both go at around the same time..." What is this, some type of sick one-sided suicide pact?

.

Not a single DUmmie questioned that. That is scary.

[franksolich]

Not a single DUmmie questioned that. That is scary.

As much as the primitives lie to each other, one thinks they'd catch on.

They must be slow learners.

[67 Rover]

This primitive is going to die soon, has a 14 year old "little girl", and "I am grateful that we will both go at around the same time..." What is this, some type of sick one-sided suicide pact?

.

His little girl is a 14 year old dog.  Focus on the positive, soon the world will be free of the pigman! 

[VelvetElvis]

His little girl is a 14 year old dog.  Focus on the positive, soon the world will be free of the pigman! 

Whew! Thanks for clearing that up for us!
For a moment I thought that the BigPig was breeding!

[67 Rover]

Whew! Thanks for clearing that up for us!
For a moment I thought that the BigPig was breeding!

I did not say he wasn't fu**ing the dog. 

[BadCat]

I did not say he wasn't fu**ing the dog. 

He's a DUer and hangs out in their witch forum.
It's implied.

[Carl]

The DUmp in a nutshell.

Response to get the red out (Original post)

Wed Sep 13, 2017, 08:52 PM

Star Member hunter (26,963 posts)
25. Hello.



Dropping by your friendly neighborhood E.R. isn't a bad idea whenever you feel like that. Even if it's the middle of the night. Be sure to tell them you're changing meds. (Effexor can be a bad one; it's fantastic when it works, not so much when it doesn't, and not an easy med to quit. "Gradually" tapering off can mean many, many months...)

I landed in the E.R. twice a little over a year ago. The first visit I talked my way out, "yeah, I'm fine now..." (No, I was not), the second visit they sent me to the locked psych ward for a few days. (I was definitely NOT fine, I don't clearly remember the first day. (My own illness comes with psychotic features, hallucinations, and nightmares straight out of hell.)

The meds I'm taking now seem to be working, but I'm a terrible judge of my own mental state.

Maybe I shouldn't be talking so much about myself in a thread like this, but I've always found it helpful to hear other people's similar experiences, otherwise I really do feel alone in the universe.

You are not alone.

[BadCat]

You are not alone.

No, you're not.
You're hanging out in the biggest insane asylum on the internet.  You're in good company.

[Old n Grumpy]

Why not set yourself on fire, live stream it on youtube. I bet you will get hundreds of likes and will be popular.

[67 Rover]

Why not set yourself on fire, live stream it on youtube. I bet you will get hundreds of likes and will be popular.

Guaranteed to get more hits than Porn tube.