Author Topic: classic: primitives react to elections (2004)  (Read 11660 times)

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Offline franksolich

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classic: primitives react to elections (2004)
« on: March 15, 2016, 11:58:51 AM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2616344

Oh my.

You know, some primitive threads ought to be preserved for historical purposes.

For those who don't remember the early days, the MoPaul primitive, born circa 1949 or 1950, was one of the last victims of polio before the Salk vaccine was invented.  That of course was a tragedy, but the greater tragedy was how his handicap deformed his persona; twisted it into something really disgusting.

MoPaul at the time lived in or near Kansas City, Missouri, and once in a while performed with a band.  A photograph of him, taken from the back, betrayed that he had an ass about as wide as the Bay of Biscay, possibly from his (unfortunately) being wheelchair-bound so much.

He later came back as phalloscraper or something like that, but tapered off, slowly evaporating from Skins's island.

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mopaul (1000+ posts)    Sat Nov-06-04 07:29 AM
Original message

For 2 whole days, I layed in the corner drooling & making weird sounds

When I awoke very early Wednesday morning, I remember making coffee and sitting down with a cup at the computer machine....then, everything turned bright white, then completely black. I felt a dull thud, and heard a sound like a pumpkin smashing against a side of beef.

Every few hours, I would drift back into lucidity, just long enough to realize I was laying in the corner of the living room with spittle running down my cheek and into a large puddle at my chin. and I could hear a weird voice off in the distance. I later realized it was my own voice, but I didn't hear words, only groans and occasional burps.

One time when I blurred back into almost consciousness, I saw my dear wife, Mrs. Paul, over at the edge of the room, but she looked like she was 20 miles away, and I remember that the sensation of time passing had vanished, and I seemed to be locked in a ripple between time and space.

I got the vague blurred impression that I was curled up in the fetal position, and I could see a dust bunny in the corner in great detail, but I knew that dust bunnies didn't talk, as this one did. It kept echoing a phrase or mantra that I couldn't quite make out...'mandate'...'exit polls'....'massive turnout'...'4 more beers, 4 more beers'.....then the silence of the grave.

Then, I began to regret that I hadn't just died, and I felt hot as hell, but shivering like a naked man in antarctica, sweating and trembling violently. I remember dear Mrs. Paul applying a wet towel to my forehead and saying sweet comforting things to me, and I remember she looked like an angel, wings and all. for a while, it looked like I might pull through.

But then, the fever dreams began, and I descended into hell, headfirst. I saw all the souls of all the disenfranchised voters in a lake of burning sulpher and I heard their terrible lamentations, and I remember wishing that I'd never been born with ears, or eyes to see their awful suffering.

Deeper, and deeper I fell into the stygian abyss, and I saw off in the distance what looked like a fiery throne, and it came into view and I could not close my offended eyes or rip them out and I saw the beast of stolen elections in all his bloody glory and I grew sore afraid.

'O Democratic God of justice, why hast thou forsaken me?' I wailed.
'Why must I look upon this horror of the ages with my mortal eyes?'

But I heard no reply to my plea, and no relief for my suffering soul, and I had no cool drink of salvation to quench my damned tongue, and no succor from my candidate.

After this I felt only blackness, cold and empty, where no shadows ever lived because no light had ever shone there. My eyes were open, as I later discovered, but I layed there like a dead man for the last hours of thursday night, stinking, burping, and generally bringing shame to my entire family.

Slowly, I began to recover from my affliction, my eyes cleared and my head too, but it still felt like spiders had built webs in there.
I found the strength to make a pot of joe, and lurched back over to the computer machine. I stared at it for about two hours, motionless, finally grabbing the mouse and braced myself and faced the music. I started to comfort myself, and forget the awful ordeal I'd just been through and the portentous visions I'd had.

And now, I'm gradually regaining my strength and composure, I've showered, put on clean clothes and burned the old ones, and apologized to my wife and my neighbors in the apt. above me.

That's my story, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been down this same road of despair and redemption, and in that, I find solace and strength. Two days lost forever. Two whole days of my life taken, never to be redeemed. Two days of hell, to steel me on my quest for a satisfying election night. Someday, my prince, or princess will come

This is a medium-length thread, and well worth reading in its entirety at the original link.

A couple of primitive comments, but there's much more like these:

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anarchy1999 (1000+ posts)    Sat Nov-06-04 07:34 AM
Response to Original message

2. You are an inspiration to us all. Thanks, I think I'll go shower now.

plus my hubbie didn't come home last night. This is hell. I know it.

I've also been considering slashing my wrists, the fight just is not worth it anymore.

Quote
union_maid (1000+ posts)    Sat Nov-06-04 09:09 AM
Response to Original message

11. You're not alone

No election has engendered the kind of reaction that this one has.

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/ny-hsblu...

In our house, we were kept busy The Day After because my mother, who is in her 80's took a quarter of a tranquilizer to help her sleep on election night - or at least that might have been the problem. I don't know whether it was an interaction with other meds or because she's gotten very thin or if it was something else entirely, but in the small hours of the morning we had to call 911 and she was taken to the ER by ambulance, pretty much unconscious.

She's doing much better now, but she drifted in and out all the next day. Every time she woke up she asked if things had changed and if Kerry was now the winner. Once she told us about going to sleep thinking that Dewey won only to wake up finding it was Truman and that maybe that would happen and Kerry would win.

Several people didn't come into work the next day and reported spending the day under blankets in heavy mourning.

I find all this very good. We should be taking it hard. And then we should hit back and hit hard and never let up.
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Fourwinds

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Re: classic: primitives react to elections (2004)
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2016, 12:17:49 PM »
Damn, 2004? I was barely politically aware back then. I was 12 years younger and was trying to have as much fun as possible. These people must have been born insane and vile.

Offline franksolich

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Re: classic: primitives react to elections (2004)
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2016, 12:19:23 PM »
Damn, 2004? I was barely politically aware back then. I was 12 years younger and was trying to have as much fun as possible. These people must have been born insane and vile.

"must have"?  Come on, now.....
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: classic: primitives react to elections (2004)
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2016, 01:54:38 PM »
Ohio in '04, SOS Ken Blackwell!!! He fixed it just like Katherine Harris in '00!!  Fond memories of DU butt-hurt.
Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender


Offline SVPete

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Re: classic: primitives react to elections (2004)
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2016, 02:01:53 PM »
I'm not doing any chicken counting - though the Rs seem to be laying a goodly number of eggs - but does DU have anyone there with this kind of literary talent?
If, as anti-Covid-vaxxers claim, https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2021/robert-f-kennedy-jr-said-the-covid-19-vaccine-is-the-deadliest-vaccine-ever-made-thats-not-true/ , https://gospelnewsnetwork.org/2021/11/23/covid-shots-are-the-deadliest-vaccines-in-medical-history/ , The Vaccine is deadly, where in the US have Pfizer and Moderna hidden the millions of bodies of those who died of "vaccine injury"? Is reality a Big Pharma Shill?

Millions now living should have died. Anti-Covid-Vaxxer ghouls hardest hit.