Author Topic: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05 Stinky the Clown  (Read 2083 times)

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Offline franksolich

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Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05 Stinky the Clown
« on: December 22, 2009, 04:55:04 PM »
05. Stinky the Clown, formerly known officially as Husb2Sparkly, or the sparkling husband primitive; a les risibles primitive.  From the Baltimore, Maryland, area; married to Sparkly, also known as the sparkling husband primitive's wife.  In his mid 60s, born and raised in Connecticut, a member of the U.S. Navy based out of Charleston, South Carolina, during the mid-1960s; now operates a "consulting" business, and is a landlord.  Of Italianate origin, a lapsed Roman Catholic.  Has had a major heart attack, but pigheadedly refuses to lay off the chow.  Children, speculatively two of them, and some expensive dogs and at least one cat; also employs a maid to clean the house.  Imagines himself a bon vivant, a continental connoisseur.

All the above information, as usual, either wittingly or unwittingly, provided by the winner himself.  

I've written about the sparkling husband primitive recently, a piece here in the DUmpster entitled New Year's Eve in the sparkling household, a companion piece to Christmas at Grandma's, about one of his best friends on Skins's island, Mrs. Alfred Packer, the hippywife primitive.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35801.0/

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38146.0/

The maniacal ravings of the sparkling husband primitive have been known to decent and civilized people for a very long time now, but the sparkling husband primitive moved from "supporting actor" to "main star" when the sparkling husband primitive unwittingly revealed that his wife makes him use the bathroom in the basement, where the cat litter-box is also kept, so as to not stink up the good bathrooms on the first and second floors of the house.

From 2008:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,11922.0/

Now, the sparkling husband primitive has been so prominent, there's pages and pages and pages of him here, and that only from this past year.

So one is compelled to not only cherry-pick threads, but to pick only those cherry-picked threads with cherries the size of cantaloupes.

The sparkling husband primitive accepts us as a fact of life:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,21917.0/

franksolich speculates on nature of the sparkling husband primitive's business:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,28870.0/

The sparkling husband primitive watches television at work:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,30777.0/

The sparkling husband primitive gets "unrec"ed again:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,31671.0/

The sparkling husband primitive gets squicked about dogs:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,32363.0/

The sparkling husband primitive discusses pasta, anal leakage:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,32532.0/

The sparkling husband primitive bullies a fellow primitive:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,33502.0/

The sparkling husband primitive imagines himself an expert on cookware:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,34295.0/

The sparkling husband primitive always falling down:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35378.0/

The sparkling husband primitive gets into the Christmas spirits:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35465.0/

The sparkling husband primitive isn't fond of Richard Cheney:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35477.0/

The sparkling husband primitive bounces a bouncy:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35777.0/

The sparkling husband primitive getting sick:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35801.0/

The sparkling husband primitive wants to axe Secret Service:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37340.0/

The sparkling husband primitive's wife attacked by cling wrap:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37478.0/

The sparkling husband primitive gets soddenly drunk again:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37492.0/

The sparkling husband primitive boasts about his cookware:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37501.0/

The sparkling husband primitive waffles:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37504.0/

The sparkling husband primitive still bitching about "unrec"s:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37643.0/

The sparkling husband primitive goes barefoot:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37941.0/

The sparkling husband primitive learns a new trick:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38102.0/

I give up; there's just t-o-o-o-o much stuff.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2009, 04:53:04 PM by franksolich »
".....you guys don't miss anything, do you?....."
--the late Tangerine Labamba on conservativecave, December 17, 2009

Offline Karin

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2009, 12:53:57 PM »
The one up there, "bullies a fellow prim"  was funny to read.  It looks like so much impotent rage.  He looks like a rejected husband knocking at his wife's locked door.  "Honey?  Honey?  Honey?  Honey?" 

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2009, 01:54:50 PM »
Stinky sings "Honey.... honey... honey, won't you open that door? Its cold outside, don't make me sleep on the floor... honey won't you open that door"

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2009, 01:59:11 PM »

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05 Stinky the Clown
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2009, 05:47:31 PM »
well, I thought it was funny when I made it.

Offline thundley4

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05 Stinky the Clown
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2009, 05:51:17 PM »
It was and worthy of a Hi5 if we still had them. 
Al Qaeda wants to abolish the country we know and love. They better hurry up because Obama is beating them to it!

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05 Stinky the Clown
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2009, 05:54:06 PM »
It was and worthy of a Hi5 if we still had them. 

I have been abusing the lolbuilder! I am the lolbringer!

never mind. That is bad.

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Top DUmmies (Primitives) of 2009: #05 Stinky the Clown
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2009, 06:59:32 PM »
It was and worthy of a Hi5 if we still had them. 

You'd get one from me for that, FGL!  That was funny! :rotf: :lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf: :lmao:
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

Esse quam videri.

 



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