Author Topic: runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009  (Read 3965 times)

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Offline franksolich

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runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009
« on: December 19, 2009, 12:33:47 PM »
A very Merry Christmas to decent and civilized people all over the world, but stockings full of coal and sticks to the primitives who almost, but didn't quite, cut it in 2009.

The voting for TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009 didn't seem to go hardly the way I had predicted, but then and again, I've never had much success as a predictor, especially in elections.

When looking at the list of the nearly-wons among the primitives, one is reminded that in the 1700s in England (or perhaps it was during the 1800s in France), that an admiral (in England; or perhaps it was a general in France) was hanged for not doing a very good job.

There were others who had been similarly incompetent, and it was questioned why only one of them had been hanged, to which the response was that only one hanging was necessary so as to encourage the others to do better.

And so one reminds DUmmies 20-11 to try harder, for 2010.

The inhabitants of Skins's island can be placed in different categories, or tiers of primitivity, in descending order; category (e) of course being the largest, circa 99% of all the primitives:

(a) non-primitives on Skins's island
(b) first-tier primitives, those who have actually accomplished things in life
(c) second-tier primitives, the non-conforming noise-makers
(d) third-tier primitives, the rabble-rousers
(e) the unterprimitiven, the faceless lynch mob, the amorphous blob
(f) the abbandonado, the tragic primitives
(g) the les risibles primitives, the laughable ones, the ridiculous ones
(h) the drek primitives, those with utterly no redeeming social or personal value
« Last Edit: December 19, 2009, 01:38:24 PM by franksolich »

Offline franksolich

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Re: runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2009, 01:31:55 PM »
20.  TwixVoy, also known as the "TwitVoy" primitive, or the Twix candy bar primitive; a second-tier primitive.  The Twix candy bar primitive, after losing a job as floor supervisor for the discount giant Target late last year, after some weeks of unemployment, became a cable television serviceman.  Alas, the Twix candy bar primitive rejoined the ranks of the unemployed six weeks later, and is now currently seeking a governmental job.

Inbetweentimes, the Twix candy bar primitive has been most generous in offering financial and investment advice as assistance for those suffering in this booming Boconomy.

The Twix candy bar primitive dispensing career advice:,36861.0/

The Twix candy bar primitive tries to get out of performing a civic duty:,32295.0/

The Twix candy bar primitive investing in gold:,34294.0/

19.  proud2BlibKansan, also known as the Die alte Sau, or the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher; a drek primitive.  The Die alte Sau, 57 years old this year, is perhaps one of the most bitter, vindictive primitives on Skins's island, possibly due to the mixed-up plumbing in the lower regions of her torso.

franksolich has oftentimes suggested to the Die alte Sau the old prairie remedy, Lydia Pinkham's Special Vegetable Compound for Female Complaints, but of course the Die alte Sau, as with most of the other primitives, prefers to remain wretched and miserable.

Just a very unpleasant person, the Die alte Sau.

An example of the Die alte Sau's bitchery:,32071.0/

An example of the Die alte Sau being rude and ungracious:,37490.0/

An example of the Die alte Sau exaggerating:,32098.0/

18.  Name removed; a non-primitive on Skins's island.

No commentary necessary; one of the most popular inhabitants of Skins's island.

17.  Tangerine LaBamba, also known as Gloria Swanson and now mausoleumed; a non-primitive on Skins's island.  franksolich must make a disclosure here; at first, Gloria Swanson seemed a dingbat to him, but as time went on, it was obvious Gloria Swanson was (is) the real thing, and so evolved an affection for her, despite that her politics suck.

So franksolich is wimping out on this one, because franksolich is no impartial judge of the vices and virtues of Gloria Swanson.

However, this offers a classic example of how Gloria Swanson little tolerates fools, in this case the greenbriar primitive:,34167.0/,34267.0/

There are rumors, possibly true, that Gloria Swanson was once the left-handed attorney, the OldLeftyLawyer primitive, who gave the Bostonian Drunkard much grief during Fitzmas in May 2006:,37901.0/,37920.0/

16.  armyowalgreens, also known as the militant gigolo primitive and now mausoleumed; a les risibles primitive.  The militant gigolo primitive was (is) ostensibly a freshman at Arizona State University (or the University of Arizona; I forget which), who had some exciting times this past summer living in a house with other deadbeats, and some interesting confrontations with the landlord.

Then the militant gigolo primitive, ostensibly a waiter at a Village Inn restaurant in Tempe, Arizona, moved into a college dormitory, and got busted constantly for minor-in-possession-of-beer, and sassing law enforcement.

The kid was way out of his league with the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive:,30758.0/

The college freshman know-it-all socialist:,33452.0/,34240.0/

And then the mausoleuming:,35730.0/

15.  FrenchieCat, also known as the Gallic feline primitive; a third-tier primitive.  The Gallic feline primitive is one of the head cheerleaders for Benito Bo, always as vigorous in her defense of the generalissibo as are Doug's stupid ex-wife, the Joanne98 primitive, and the Judi Lynn primitive, in their enthusiastic justification of Yugo Chavez of Venezuela:,27062.0/,34664.0/

14.  Ian David, also known as the skumbag primitive; the original drek primitive.  The skumbag primitive is the one with that Prius (or whatever) automobile pasted with bumper-stickers expressing hatred of anything that is good and decent; by the way, recent studies have shown that people who overplaster their motor vehicles with paper are more likely to have "anger managment" issues, than people more modest about their political sentiments.

The skumbag primitive is the one who designed the inane I SUPPORT THE TROOPS BY ****ING THEIR WIVES magnetic ribbon some years ago.

I'm not bothering giving any examples of the skumbag primitive's literary pieces, because they're mostly all the same thing; bonfires on Skins's island about Christian clergy abusing minors.  It's an obsession with the skumbag primitive.  

It's a really big obsession with the skumbag primitive.

One is reminded of a certain Scriptural passage about faulting the cinder in the neighbor's eye while ignoring the log in one's own eye.....

13.  cali, also known as the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive; a second-tier primitive.  The bitter old Vermontese cali primitive has always been difficult to tie down; anti-Semitic one day, pro-Semitic the next day, preposterosity one day, common sense the next day, anti-war one day, pro-war the next day, &c., &c., &c.

I dunno.  Maybe it comes with the territory of being an older woman who's passed a certain, uh, stage in life, this hot-cold, warm-cool, love-hate sort of thing.  The bitter old Vermontese cali primitive was one of the first of the 0bamaites on Skins's island, and one of the loudest critics, condemners, silencers, and persecutors of those who preferred other Democrat candidates for the presidency.

The bitter old Vermontese cali primitive is arguably one of the five best-known primitives on Skins's island; every primitive has an opinion about her, and she about them.

An example, involving the sparkling husband primitive:,31559.0/

An example of the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive's political correctness, involving the Fort Hood killings:,36177.0/

12.  Horse with no Name, also known as Ms. Ed the unappellated eohippus and more rarely, the nonmonickered equine, and also the High Priestess of Moloch to the primitives; a drek primitive.  Ms. Ed, originally from southern Oklahoma, is allegedly an R.N. in northern Texas.....or perhaps only a billing keyboardist at a hospital or clinic in northern Texas.

The mystery lies in that Ms. Ed alleges to make $24,000 a year, as medical insurance premiums of $500 per month are one-fourth of her salary.  Ms. Ed is either lying about being an R.N., or lying about how much money she makes.  Take your choice, flip a coin; Ms. Ed lies all the time.

Ms. Ed is an unusual primitive.  The first qualification of primitivity is that one must hate George Bush with one's whole body and soul, all else being irrelevant.  Ms. Ed, who hates George Bush with a vigor and a passion, on the other hand loves abortion more than she hates George Bush.  Ms. Ed is also leery of cabbage.

Ms. Ed, who supported that one guy from North Carolina during the 2008 Democrat presidential primaries, is also a sore loser:,33187.0/

An example of Ms. Ed's strident advocacy of abortion:,36260.0/

Ms. Ed on the public option, showing her Pedro-Picasso-like paranoia:,32316.0/

11.  Atman, more commonly known as Pedro Picasso; a les risibles primitive.  Pedro Picasso can never seem to edge into the Top Ten, at least the past couple of years, despite his strenuous efforts at being psychopathically paranoid; everything's a conspiracy, all planned out far in advance by Karl Rove &c., and it's a conspiracy directed directly against Pedro Picasso.

franksolich has nothing to do with Pedro Picasso not cracking the Top Ten.

Pedro Picasso, who grew up in one of those Levittowns down in Florida, but who currently lives in Connecticut, is a true child of 1960s suburban America, his eyeballs permanently glued to the television set, his comments on Skins's island dealing mostly with what this television celebrity or that radio personality said about this or that.

No need to give links showing examples; the DUmpster here's full of Pedro Picasso paranoia.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2009, 04:46:50 PM by franksolich »

Offline franksolich

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Re: runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2009, 04:51:14 PM »
The LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD, awarded to a primitive who has performed stellar labors on behalf of Skins's island, will be unveiled this coming week, some time before Christmas.

The TOP TEN PRIMITIVES OF 2009, including the TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009, will come out just before New Year's Day.

Watch for them, if one is interested.


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Re: runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2009, 05:23:59 PM »
It would be so interesting to know how many "guest" views this thread gets over the next few days. A lot of halfwit democrat DUmmies are on pins and needles.

Offline Carl

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Re: runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2009, 05:34:03 PM »
It would be so interesting to know how many "guest" views this thread gets over the next few days. A lot of halfwit democrat DUmmies are on pins and needles.

Greenbriar is on pins and needles as we speak.
This revelation may have come too late alas to relegate her to a more appropriate position of being just a bitter,stupid loon.

Offline Tucker

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Re: runners-up for Top DUmmies (primitives) of 2009
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2009, 05:35:21 AM »
Thanks Frank.

You're doing a great job.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2009, 09:10:07 AM by Tucker13 »
I can't be a racist. I hate his white half too.

Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.

<-----Thanks DUmmy


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